Do you tell?

[searchingforpeace]

Curious as to what everyone's experiences are regarding this....Do you let your Pastor or others at your church know you are bipolar? If so, at what point did you say something? What kind of reactions have you gotten? If you have told have you found it helps if going through a rough patch for them to know what is going on?

Dianna

 

[FragileWinter]

I really haven't told anyone except my boyfriend and my close friends. I'm afraid to tell my parents because I can deal with it and when they come into a situation I'm having trouble with I get really stressed. Plus it doesn't help that my mom found out that a girl that was a friend of my aunt "was bipolar" and committed suicide and she was all "what makes them do these things?" So, no, I definately haven't told anyone at my church, just my boyfriend and close friends.

 

[searchingforpeace]

I really haven't told anyone except my boyfriend and my close friends. I'm afraid to tell my parents because I can deal with it and when they come into a situation I'm having trouble with I get really stressed. Plus it doesn't help that my mom found out that a girl that was a friend of my aunt "was bipolar" and committed suicide and she was all "what makes them do these things?" So, no, I definately haven't told anyone at my church, just my boyfriend and close friends.

Do you plan on telling your mom at some point? Don't you think she might understand you better if you told her? Maybe you could educate her on it. Most people who do not have it, or know someone who does, and have had it explained don't understand. Most people think we can just snap out of it....boy, if it was just that easy.

 

[FragileWinter]

No, it took me a year to convince her goths werent evil and my friends werent evil. I learned from that experience.

 

[lvbeads]

Yeah, if it were just that easy!
I was forced to tell my family and pastor, because I had done so many horrible and seemingly unexplainable things while manic. Telling them helped them understand. The reaction was okay, though it took time for them to heal from my actions. My personal rule of thumb is to tell nobody unless there is a specific reason to do so. I have the added bonus of schizophrenic symptoms so I don't want anyone thinking they'll find me out wandering the streets talking to myself. I am just afraid that people won't understand. If they don't need to know, then I don't let them know. But if they will be able and willing to help you through "a rough patch" then by all means, it's up to you!
God bless...

 

[FragileWinter]

I know I told my boyfriend because he has a right to know. That sounds wise though, not telling them unless you have to I mean.

 

[jream]

I just found out, but I am getting another diagnosis and hoping the other guy was wrong and I will snap out of it!

 

[Alive again]

It is a very difficult decision when and to whom to disclose. I hold a professional license now that were "they" to know, I might lose my license. I participate in the In Our Own Voice program that NAMI does to help share our stories and breakdown stigmas, so I tell roomfuls of people about my story and my diagnosis. My family all knows, some truly understand, others don't. My friends I choose carefully and let them know when I trust them. Others I know would never understand, so I don't even bother. My pastor knows, but my church is a unique church and is actively working in an area of town with high met use and high poverty and we are a church that values all people as children of God, so it is a very safe place. We have had those who are actively confused or hallucinating in church, and as long as it isn't disruptive, it is not an issue. There are churches I have been in that would never understand and start talking about sin in my live, curses or demons, or just plain laziness, etc. I have been accused of many of those things by many people over the years, but I was safe myself as I knew they did not understand or know what they were talking about!!!!

 

[angelkiss]

I personally, kept my illness to myself, but after a while if I was going to be around someone quite often, I would up and tell them. If they don't understand, I offer a bit of knowledge to them so they will know what to expect from me. If they start shying away from me, I consider it their loss. The way I see it, they're missing out on a friendship.
After years of being ashamed of who I am, I finally decided it was time to be content. I was missing out on so much because I isolated myself, worrying that I wouldn't be accepted by others.
This illness is a part of me and if I'm not accepted, that's okay. If they choose not to understand and judge me because of my illness, then obviously they're on the wrong page anywho.
I guess maybe I have grown cold toward the thought of having to explain myself to someone who chooses not to learn because they're afraid of the impact it puts on their own image. Such as, "If I'm seen with her, people might think I'm crazy." "If she gets too close, she might wig out and start ranting and raving in front of my friends" Forget all that!! I'm done with it. I feel that if others would stop dwelling on the "what ifs" and the "labels" they would find that I am just as much a person as they are.
s and es!!

 

[Meshavrischika]

I hid my illness for a while and decided that didn't benefit me at all.

I tell people when the subject comes up. I tell anyone. I don't hold back anymore. I look at it like having high blood pressure, or some other common malady. It's just a part of who I am.

I know it's hard. Sometimes you get looked at/treated like a leper. (no offense to lepers ) I have decided this helps me weed out the useless people in my life. If you don't love me... all of me... then get lost (no offense again).

Most of the people I know now are really cool with the whole thing and understand.

 

[searchingforpeace]

I want to thank you all for sharing regarding this. It is very much appreciated

 

[Patrina]

I told my pastor as soon as i knew i would be attending the church regularly. He is very saportive, and helpful to me and my family.

 

[Alaskamomma]

No, I haven't told anyone at church. Just my family and close friends know. People don't know how to respond to it very well. So, I just choose not to.

 

[lemonflavor]

"Once you tell them, every conversation is about that."
Dr. Wilson on the TV show House (referring to cancer)

I found that with some people who care, this is the case. Sometimes I wish they would quit asking about it because my condition is chronic. But it's far better that they care which is the case with my mom and people in my Bible study.

The difficult thing to get across is that the spiritual is becoming more and more important and I'm so blessed that God has given me zeal to work out my salvation with fear and trembling.

I may have more to write about this if I have time and energy.

 

[DoubtingThomas29]

I recommend not telling your employer.

I work at Mc Donald's and they need people who do a good job and are reliable, so I have told the shift managers I have a mental illness after knowing them for months. You got to let the person know you for a while before you tell them. Let them see you as a normal person who doesn't believe weird things, or is moody all the time, let them get an idea of how you function, then tell them you have amental illness.

Like if I had a really cool boss and they knew they needed me at my job, and that I am not so easily replaced I'd tell my boss I would. And I would even point out it is protected by the American with disabilities act which was signed into law by George Bush Senior. So they can't fire you for having a mental illness, the illness would have to directly affect the job function to fire you. Like having to carry a fire arm. And if they do fire you after you tell them, sue them to get your job back.

However really only tell your boss if it looks like your boss is your friend likehe has invited you to picknics, and bar be ques, and maybe a baptism, barmitsfa, or birthday party. Know that they like you, then tell your boss.

 

[Meshavrischika]

"Once you tell them, every conversation is about that."
Dr. Wilson on the TV show House (referring to cancer)

I found that with some people who care, this is the case. Sometimes I wish they would quit asking about it because my condition is chronic. But it's far better that they care which is the case with my mom and people in my Bible study.

The difficult thing to get across is that the spiritual is becoming more and more important and I'm so blessed that God has given me zeal to work out my salvation with fear and trembling.

I may have more to write about this if I have time and energy.

I don't find this to be true at all. Normally it is only mentioned when I mention having problems, or someone is concerned about me.

I'm sorry that so many people have such a bad experience with their illness and other people's judgement.

 

[TailTactics]

I only let the close people, people I care about and care about me know my 'label'. But on the other hand if someone asks what are you diagnosed with ill tell them or if they notice im acting unlike myself I may tell them why.

 

[Laridy]

I've gone thru different stages in my life. At first I told noone except my husband and my best friend who really already knew cause we met and became best friends in the psych hospital. Later, my immediate supervisor knew cause she hired me while I was being released from the hospital but she didn't really talk about it or ever want to hear about it. She did seem to be negative toward me cause I worked a little more slowly than she did. She gave me a poor job evaluation- my first ever. My parents knew-they just always thought I had mental problems. Now, I've told my current pastor and church and they've been praying for stability and soundness of mind for the past 8 years and I believe that's what has helped stabalize me on my current meds for so long. Most of the people know and respond real well. They seem to understand when I'm down and don't show up and just express concern about me. I remember one time I was so depressed and felt so evil that even God couldn't love me this older coulple just held me and prayed w/ me that I would sense the love of God and I would receive clarity of mind. Soon afterward that bad bout of depression broke. I had never felt so bad before. I think hiding and keeping secrets keeps us in the dark and sometimes furthers the destructiveness of this d/o; however, I do understand why people choose to do this. It's a personal decision and it also depends on where the person's at in their life. I just found being open has brought me mostly blessings and those who don't understand or choose to be judgemental have a worse problem than me.

IMHO, Laridy

 

[firechild]

Telling your employer is definately a risk. I was fired once because i told them, although they made up a fake reason so that they didn't have to give me severance pay (I was a nanny and it was the best job i had ever had. i still miss it).

I'm also out of work right now because i told my current employer. She reccomened i take the summer off. Unfortunately that means i spend most of my time alone (not good) since everyone i know works during the day, including my amazing fiance.

He has been the best thing in my life in dealing with Bipolar. My parents are also very supportive, although they don't understand like he does, and tend to over-react.

I don't have a pastor right now, since the church i was a music leader at for two years just closed. the pastors there didn't know though. A few of my friends do, and my Fiance's family does.

I want everyone to know, because i want them to understand and i don't want to feel ashamed, but i'm still scared. i wish i had a pastor i could share it with...

FC

 

[tallyn75]

Curious as to what everyone's experiences are regarding this....Do you let your Pastor or others at your church know you are bipolar? If so, at what point did you say something? What kind of reactions have you gotten? If you have told have you found it helps if going through a rough patch for them to know what is going on?

Dianna

I feel a little anxious that people have found out about my bipolar. Initially I didn't want anyone to know, but due to my frequent hospitalizations we've had to we've had to reach out to church members for babysitters to watch our three children. I do feel anxious about others knowing, but they are treating me kindly. Don't know if it's honest caring or pity though.