~~Do you make friends on CF? ~~

NorwayUnn · Nov 6, 2011

Hi, I had a long break from CF, but I am back now ... and I have been single for two and a half years. I just wondered if you make friends on CF or just superficial acquaintances. I am not so good at making comments on others' posts yet. I guess I am just browsing some forums that are ''new'' to me. Wish you all a blessed day.

NorwayUnn · Nov 7, 2011

chuck77 · Nov 7, 2011

NorwayUnn said:
Hi, I had a long break from CF, but I am back now ... and I have been single for two and a half years. I just wondered if you make friends on CF or just superficial acquaintances. I am not so good at making comments on others' posts yet. I guess I am just browsing some forums that are ''new'' to me. Wish you all a blessed day.

Hi NorwayUnn

Im new here so "friends" would be pushing it, but i've "met" some nice people here so far.

BTW, it says you have 22,160 posts, so how can you say:

"I am not so good at making comments on others' posts yet"?

NorwayUnn · Nov 7, 2011

He he, all these posts were made a few years ago, and not so much comments, but silly games on here. There was a lot of fun in the Fab 40's back then as I can remember, but that was then and not now. I am rather new in the singles forums. It is like starting over with posting for me. It was nice of you to respond.

mjmcmillan · Nov 7, 2011

I'm a bit of a "forum junkie", and I have "friends" on a number of systems. So, it happens. I don't play games so much, the only ones I get into at all on the "Golden Eagles" is the Place names and the Weather. There are a few people here I think I might get along with if we were to meet in real life, only distance makes it not happen.

dayhiker · Nov 7, 2011

I'd say I've got to know some people on CF as we have similar interests and so post on the same topics. I think if I really wanted a closer friendship from the message board I'd have to take it to a level of swapping emails and then phone calls.
I like discussing issues so that is one of my priorities. But I really like the topics here as well, as being single with a GF the personal discussion is close to what I'm interested in as well.

NorwayUnn · Nov 7, 2011

I can remember that I had pretty good contact with a few ladies in the Fab 40's forum a few years ago, but I lost contact over the years. I exchanged Christmas cards with a handful of people who posted there back then, and it was nice. I don't expect to make any close friendships on CF, partly because I live in Norway. It is nice to read your comments and about your experiences.

dayhiker · Nov 7, 2011

I love getting a perspective on how other people in other parts of the world are living and thinking about the topics of interest. Your right tho, even if we hit it off with someone the distance will limit things. Tho we have said if anyone traveling they have a place to stay and a tour guide. But most of use don't have the money for the long distance travel. So again the web gives us a touch of foriegn lands we wouldn't get otherwise.

hope_is_last_to_die · Nov 7, 2011

NorwayUnn said:
Hi, I had a long break from CF, but I am back now ... and I have been single for two and a half years. I just wondered if you make friends on CF or just superficial acquaintances. I am not so good at making comments on others' posts yet. I guess I am just browsing some forums that are ''new'' to me. Wish you all a blessed day.

some nice folks here but id call them superficial acquaintances. to be honest i dont think its possible to develop real meaningful friendships on a forum, too many smelly socks

dayhiker · Nov 8, 2011

I knew I forgot something ... guess its laundry time tonight!

NorwayUnn · Nov 8, 2011

@ dayhiker

Bridgit · Nov 8, 2011

NorwayUnn said:
Hi, I had a long break from CF, but I am back now ... and I have been single for two and a half years. I just wondered if you make friends on CF or just superficial acquaintances. I am not so good at making comments on others' posts yet. I guess I am just browsing some forums that are ''new'' to me. Wish you all a blessed day.

No, I haven't made any real friends, just acquaintances. Sometimes when you think you get closer to someone, they disappear from the forum. As dayhiker said, maybe if PM and emails are exchanged then more significant friendships might develop.

It's all about wanting to make a difference, wanting to make it count. In general, people come in here to relax. Making friends requires more involvement.

I remember you Unni, from some time back and I'm glad you've returned.

memoriesbymichelle · Nov 8, 2011

I guess mostly aquaintences, but I often wonder if distance wasn't an issue would we be good friends offline? But there are a couple I would call my friends even though I have never met them in person.

dayhiker · Nov 8, 2011

I think there are some people on here I'd be friends with if it wasn't for the distance. I don't recall seeing anyone that was in my back yard here on CF. If there was a dozen or so close to Bobston I'd suggest we get a small room at a resturant and go out to eat for fellowship and to trade stories about all you people on CF! LOL Of course no gossip .... grin

edwardfsmith · Nov 18, 2011

I am not sure what a friend is. I do not think I have ever had one.

Being a friend in real life would mean some sort of commitment to communicate.
Some kind of caring that approaches unconditional love.
With the ability to forgive mistakes and work through disagreements through communication. The ability to love when you are hurt.

My experience is most people on the internet are not looking for that.
They just want the superficial part of internet friendship of a place to vent and be heard. They may care about others but for many …. Including myself….. our lives are so full of our own problems that is hard to really reach out and be there for a friend in a meaningful way.

That has been my experience.

dayhiker · Nov 19, 2011

Well, Edward, there is alot of truth in what you say. The distance of the web makes it hard to do too much besides being there to hear what others have to say. Since a lot of people don't feel comfortable talking about their real issues in person, the web does serve a purpose there. If I was closer to those that needed somethings I could provide, I'd help them in other ways.

So I see the web as more like pen pals from earlier times.

memoriesbymichelle · Nov 21, 2011

yeah kinda like instant pen pals .
It's interesting I was posting on another thread and thinking to myself, is it odd that I feel almost comfortable posting to the "friends" here on this forum, who I really don't know from Adam IRL, but I wouldn't DARE go on a dating website cuz I'm afraid of the guys not being who they say they are. I mean I've posted with some people here for awhile now (dayhiker is one) and I feel like we are friends, but still I don't know him IRL and it's not like if I was in his area that I would call him up and say can I come and visit (just as friends cuz he does have a gf and I'm not like that) just as an example. But I DO think of him (and others) as my internet "friends" so IDK....

edwardfsmith · Nov 21, 2011

This is why I loved high school
I got to sit next to the same people every day.
I sometimes I talked and interacted with people
Sometimes they were girls :O

Even at lunch I sat at a table and there were other people around.

Just that satisfies some need.
Just like internet friends can satisfy some need.

But the reality was those people in high school were just classmates.
The people at work are coworkers.
And the people here are internet friends.

It is something.
But not the same.

dayhiker · Nov 21, 2011

Ya, I consider people friends that I chat with here. The medium has advantages as well as disadvantages, just like any other way of communicating. There is this idea that web communication isn't real life. While I understand that, I do believe this is real. Ya, one can make up a fake life and write fiction for posts. If they need to do that for some reason its no skin off my back. I react to their posts as if they were real. Its the real me no matter what the other posts motives are. But that's all we can do any ways.
Ya, Michelle, I think we are two of the people that have posted most consistently over the last few years. So to me all that we know about each other and the care we can have for each other makes us friends.

memoriesbymichelle · Nov 22, 2011

dayhiker said:
Ya, I consider people friends that I chat with here. The medium has advantages as well as disadvantages, just like any other way of communicating. There is this idea that web communication isn't real life. While I understand that, I do believe this is real. Ya, one can make up a fake life and write fiction for posts. If they need to do that for some reason its no skin off my back. I react to their posts as if they were real. Its the real me no matter what the other posts motives are. But that's all we can do any ways.
Ya, Michelle, I think we are two of the people that have posted most consistently over the last few years. So to me all that we know about each other and the care we can have for each other makes us friends.[/quote]

Real friends? I believe our friendships here are real too. Some on here are just aquaintences (just like real life) and others are closer like us. It's interesting talking about high school.. I have only a handful of HS friends that I still know. Most people don't think about me and that's just the way it is with HS, college and co-workers. Relationships take work and most people don't really want to put in the time.

~*~Do you make friends on CF? ~*~

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