do you love yourself?

[chickenfeet]

i've always heard that you can't love anyone else, until you love yourself.

is that a buncha bull, or there any truth to it?

i don't love myself.. hell, i dont even like myself.. and i dont think i ever will. does that mean i'm gonna be single my whole life?

i was talking to my g-ma the other night. and somehow the topic of self love and self worth came up. she has always wondered why i been single my entire life.. and why i have "friendships" that are self destructive to my own health.. and she asked me what would make me love myself. i couldnt think of any real answer. i dont think there is an answer. she told me what my graduation present was.. plastic surgery... she somehow thinks that'll make me love me? i doubt it..



i'm babbling.. lemme get to the point.. do you love yourself? and if so, what do you love about yourself?

 

[Echoes Peak]

Plastic surgery.....uh....that shouldn't be the solution to you loving yourself.

Do I love myself? Heck yeah. Why shouldn't I? Sure, I have flaws. I'm not perfect. But I can appreciate the qualities about me that make me uniquely me. I've chosen not to be too overly concerned about others opinions about me, if I don't find their commentary useful for self growth.

As for loving other people, I guess I do agree with whole loving yourself in order to love other people deal...how would I know what it means to love someone else if I have yet fully embraced what it means to love in the first place, which is why my spiritual life is important. Learning to embrace God's love for me as an individual, has made me a hella lot more loving towards other people. He's set the prototype..I just need to learn how to follow it.

 

[gsmithcat]

Hi, chickenfeet!

i've always heard that you can't love anyone else, until you love yourself.

is that a buncha bull, or there any truth to it?

Matthew 22:36-39
36 "Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?" 37 Jesus replied: " 'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.' 38 This is the first and greatest commandment. 39 And the second is like it: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.'

I think it's true! In fact, I think we should love everyone with ourselves included.

i don't love myself.. hell, i dont even like myself.. and i dont think i ever will. does that mean i'm gonna be single my whole life?

i was talking to my g-ma the other night. and somehow the topic of self love and self worth came up. she has always wondered why i been single my entire life.. and why i have "friendships" that are self destructive to my own health.. and she asked me what would make me love myself. i couldnt think of any real answer. i dont think there is an answer. she told me what my graduation present was.. plastic surgery... she somehow thinks that'll make me love me? i doubt it..

First of all, I think the abbreviation "g-ma" is just awesome!

I don't know the details of your destructive friendships or why your g-ma thinks you need plastic surgery. I do know though that God loves you and you are worth loving.

1 John 4:10
This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins.

Do you see how much God loves you!!? He loves you so much he sent Jesus to die to redeem you!

Isaiah 62:12
They will be called the Holy People,
the Redeemed of the LORD ;
and you will be called Sought After,
the City No Longer Deserted.

Do you see that? That's your name! Your not just chickenfeet. You are chicken feet who is Sought After. God seeks you. He wants to be with you. He wants you bad enough to die for you.

Psalm 139:14
I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.

That's you again! You are fearfully and wonderfully made. You are made in the image of the real, living God who created the universe and set the stars in the sky, and he delights in you!

i'm babbling.. lemme get to the point.. do you love yourself? and if so, what do you love about yourself?

Yeah, I do! I like cats. I love people who like cats. I like to dance. People who dance are way cool! God made me! Woohoo! Praise the Lord!

 

[Sketcher]

If you don't love yourself, then you'll just be a strain on the other person. For example, if I hate myself, think I belong at the bottom of the food chain, then how do you think I'd trust a girlfriend to stay faithful to me?

Also, people enter relationships only to get, as if the s/o will save them or something. As if that person is the solution to your life's problems. Well guess what, that s/o is a person to, and he/she has problems of their own. If you down have anything to GIVE, then that relationship will suck.

But if you love yourself in a non-arrogant way, then you won't be desperate for someone else. You'll have something to give. You'll be able to trust. And if you have Christ as the center of your life - Him being the One to turn to when things go wrong instead of another person, or drugs or alcohol or accomplishments - you'll be on steady ground and in a position to learn how to appropriately love yourself. Besides that, you'll be able to serve Him a lot better.

As for me loving myself - I love myself more than I used to, considerably. But I don't love myself enough. It's not easy to do sometimes.

 

[wildthing]

Yeah I love myself. But God has loved me from the beginning. He loved me so much that he gave his son to die in place of me, you and everybody else. This is uncondition love.

I do not know what any of these people look like, they do not know what I look like and this should not matter. What dose matter is this, is that we all love each other. chicken feet I don't know what you look like, I don't know how you act, I don't know there might be a wart on the end of your nose. I do know that I am commanded by God to Love you and that's the way it is. That's something that you cannot change.

 

[Snowhite]

I think it has more to do with having a Christian self-image, knowing your identity as a child of God, your worth to Him, His love for you, that He has a perfect plan for you, etc. etc. that would give one the self-confidence to be in a stable relationship. C.S. Lewis writes in his book 'the four loves' about gift-love and need-love, both are important, but someone with a low sense of self-worth is more likely to have need-love and unable to achive gift-love. Anyways, you should read the book, it's very good

 

[Sketcher]

she asked me what would make me love myself. i couldnt think of any real answer. i dont think there is an answer. she told me what my graduation present was.. plastic surgery... she somehow thinks that'll make me love me? i doubt it..

You're exactly right. Plastic surgery won't help you love yourself because after that gets done, you'll find something else about yourself to hate. You need to find your identity in Christ and go off of that. Because then you'll see yourself as truly beloved and useful - that is the way He sees you, and if that is all that matters to you, the world's standards will melt away.

 

[kelco]

It took me a long time to learn to love myself and I did some really bad things to myself and to others before I learned the truth. That truth is that we are, each and every person that was, is now, or ever will be, a precious, unique child of God. He knew us before we were born and He loved us enough to make the ultimate sacrifice for us. It dosn't matter to Him what we look like or how other people see us, He loves us just as we are. Chickenfeet, you are a child of God and He wants us to love others and that includes ourselves. When you get right down to it until you love yourself you are always going to think that everyone hates you. When you trust and love God it makes it so much eaiser to love yoursef becuase you are seeing yourself as He sees you.That's when the world opens up for you.

 

[Tuffguy]

Sometimes i coat my whole body in baby oil and roll around in 5 dollar bills!!!!! Thats self love!!! LOL

I do think being happy w/who you are does have something to do w/what you look like. Lets face it, if we went through a horrible fire and it really messed up your face we would all have a period of time when we where not comfortable in our skin. So if some minor surgery makes her feel whole and happy, i say go for it. I think that opens up a whole new can of worms though. What happens then to a person that didn't get attention, now getting attention of the wrong variety from men? I think a girl that is insecure w/herself will get used and taken advantage of. So thats something to watch out for in a big way!
I take care of myself as best as i reasonably can and i let my enormous ego carry me through the rest of it. LOL

 

[renaistre]

Do I love myself? Yes and no.

No, because I so often fail to live up to my own expectations and standards.

Yes, because I know God loves me, and if I'm good enough for God, I'm good enough for me.

 

[throwingbones]

If you don't love yourself, then you will never be able to understand why someone else would love you. You will never be able to accept their love and you will never be able to love them in return.

 

[chickenfeet]

hmm..

so to love yourself, you have to love god?

how do ya go about doing that? i'm not sure, i have any love in my heart.. n ot even for God. not exactly strong in the faith department.

i was kinda hoping least someone else out there would get where i'm coming from. but u all seem to be strong believers and what not.

thanks for ur reply's.. gave me something to reflect on.

too conflicted to make a decent reply.

 

[LionOfJudah]

Most people have stated it, but here it goes

IF you dont love your self how can you love others?

Good question, if you can not be happy with yourself, what makes you think you can help others be happy with themselves or you even.

The reason why i think many people fly from relationship to relationship is they are trying to find their self worth and love. When we need to find our life in Christ. It is not until we are content with ourselves in Christ, that we should eve begin to search for someone else to share our lives with.

 

[invisiblebabe]

Most people have stated it, but here it goes

IF you dont love your self how can you love others?

What if you value others more highly than yourself for some distorted reason?
Not saying that is the reason meant to be behind real love, but it could be possible to believe yourself to be ugly and worthless, and believe others to be lovable.

Also, I've heard it to be described as a three-tiered fountain.... God at the top, filling us to overflowing, and only then can we bestow the abundance of the love we have received to others?

 

[LionOfJudah]

I doubt if you dont have any self worth or love that you can ever fully love someone else, just my personal views.

 

[renaistre]

...so to love yourself, you have to love god?

how do ya go about doing that? i'm not sure, i have any love in my heart.. n ot even for God. not exactly strong in the faith department.

i was kinda hoping least someone else out there would get where i'm coming from. but u all seem to be strong believers and what not...

Of course there are ways to love yourself without loving God, but that's only because there are so many meanings of the word "love." I think I would agree that the kind of love that would lead to feelings of self worth would only be present if there is also a love for God. Loving God is sort of the catalyst for our love toward other people and ourselves.

To go about "doing it," I would have to start with 1 John 4:19 "We love Him because He first loved us." God loves us. Period. No matter how strong or weak our faith is. I consider it both a privilage and an obligation to love him back, as feable and human as my love may be. You can always pray that God will help you to love him, because we can't really do it on our own anyway.

I'm sorry to hear that you are having such a difficult time with this. I can't say that I know exactly how you feel, but I think I do know where you are coming from.

I have more to say, but I really have to go to bed soon. I'll try to finish this tomorrow.

 

[Sketcher]

What if you value others more highly than yourself for some distorted reason?
Not saying that is the reason meant to be behind real love, but it could be possible to believe yourself to be ugly and worthless, and believe others to be lovable.

That is very possible, and not right. Jesus didn't give Himself up because He thought He was scum.

 

[KeilCoppes]

Two thoughts to ponder -

Is God truly all-wise, all-knowing, all-gracious in His creation? The answer is yes. If then He loves what He made in you, then what do we say about Him when we can't find that basic love of His creation in us? Yes, lots of growth to make even more to glorify Him, but do we even get that basic core of things? Whose standard do we use in loving?

Doesn't what's on the inside drive the outside? Ask - How much of what's inside does plastic surgery change? Though not sinful, doesn't surgery just change some of our condition? And then ask - How much of what's inside does living with God's Spirit inside change? If the inside is straight, what change does it make in us in viewing our condition?

Hopefully not taken as cliche, but some of the things I've pondered that ultimately made a difference when I got down to brass tacks.

God's blessings.

 

[KeilCoppes]

ps - and even "strong" believers have challenges, cfeet. Some days they hang on by their fingernails from the cliff, blind to the fact that God has them in His hand. It may not show on the outside, but they have great challenges - even the most strong-seeming saint has his days of heart-tearing struggle.

If you can't love you're in a world of hurt. And yet, you might consider a quote with regard to God's love to believers:

1 Therefore, having been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, 2 through whom also we have access by faith into this grace in which we stand, and rejoice in hope of the glory of God.
3 And not only that, but we also glory in tribulations, knowing that tribulation produces perseverance; 4and perseverance, character; and character, hope.
5 Now hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out in our hearts by the Holy Spirit who was given to us.

6 For when we were still without strength, in due time Christ died for the ungodly.
7 For scarcely for a righteous man will one die; yet perhaps for a good man someone would even dare to die. 8 But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us. 9 Much more then, having now been justified by His blood, we shall be saved from wrath through Him.

10 For if when we were enemies we were reconciled to God through the death of His Son, much more, having been reconciled, we shall be saved by His life. 11 And not only that, but we also rejoice in God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have now received the reconciliation. "

- Romans 5
-------
It's not our love that sells us to God, it's God's love that start ours. We love Him because He first loved us. And Christians are strongest when they have absolutely nothing left in themselves and fall back on the strength of God. Usually that's when God has broken us down to nothing to get our eyes looking in the right direction again first. It takes a while to learn to live in that assurance.

 

[JPPT1974]

I put myself last because I feel that I owe it to God to put others way, way ahead of me. To take their feelings, needs, and concerns into consideration. Also because Jesus didn't come here to be served but TO SERVE US!