do you love yourself?

[TriptychR]

Learning to love God and yourself is not an instant undertaking. I believe it's a more gradual process. But the foundation certainly lies in the knowledge that you are a most satisfying creation of a loving being, even with your flaws. When that point is forgotten, things begin to fall apart. We begin to wonder just why anyone cares about our strengths or wouldn't care about our weaknesses.

 

[chickenfeet]

What if you value others more highly than yourself for some distorted reason? Not saying that is the reason meant to be behind real love, but it could be possible to believe yourself to be ugly and worthless, and believe others to be lovable.

i was.. and somewhat still am? at a point in my life.. where i felt like a worthless piece of trash.. but viewed everyone else as worthwhile, and deserving. and put all my energy into giving them what they wanted.. ignoring my own needs. which is what kinda sabotaged my existance. and i recognize that now.. but still havent entirely changed. like.. i still allow ppl to cut me down and tear me apart. i welcome it.. i need it... cuz this is what i view as "love"..pain.

Doesn't what's on the inside drive the outside? Ask - How much of what's inside does plastic surgery change? Though not sinful, doesn't surgery just change some of our condition? And then ask - How much of what's inside does living with God's Spirit inside change? If the inside is straight, what change does it make in us in viewing our condition?

well, for me.. plastic surgery would be more of a self esteem lifter. without getting too much into it..over the last year or so, i been in "recovery" from self destructive behaviors... and while i have grown over the years.. and am in so called recovery.. i still dont feel entirely secure about myself. i have this.. void.. and i am sure implants would fill some of that.. not completely.. but, enough. see, i was always taught a girls role in society is to look pretty. doll-like. in my family, theres a lot of emphasis on looks. my grams is only trying to help. i know it wont make me feel whole again.. but, i do believe its a step towards that. i just wanna shine, ya know?

but yea.. i dont think it'll make me love myself but it will make me love my body.. and thats a start. i quess i'll have to go to God for that..

maybe in the meantime i'll get a puppy.. or a snake.. someone to love.. to teach me what it means to love.. and maybe look into the suggested books.

thanks again.

 

[kelco]

i just wanna shine, ya know?

but yea.. i dont think it'll make me love myself but it will make me love my body.. and thats a start. i quess i'll have to go to God for that..

chickenfeet you do shine!

 

[Tink]

maybe in the meantime i'll get a puppy.. or a snake.. someone to love.. to teach me what it means to love.. and maybe look into the suggested books.

thanks again.

I suggest a plant first. If you can love a plant, and keep it living...loving yourself will be a snap.

btw, as a person who needs the opposite of implants, I can assure you that they don't always make you feel ladylike, nor pretty. Good luck with loving yourself!

I think you must love yourself before you can ever love another romantically. You can love God and your parents without first loving you.

I love myself because God created me. To me, not loving me would be like a slap in the face to God, who made me in His image. :shrug: Just my humble opinions.

I love you, sister!

In Christ,
Tink

 

[MrsGnomeCrusher]

I love myself, but at times I do not like myself.

I think you need to love and accept yourself--all the good AND the bad--before you can love and accept anyone and their good and bad.

 

[Nico]

when i went in to see a psychologist about a year ago she told me i had low self-esteem. i left the office thinking "well, what IS low self-esteem anyway?" so i guess i started thinking about it and myself. it truly hit me--the negativeness of my low self-esteem, when a guy i was dating told me he would have fallen in-love with me i didn't have such a low self-image. kinda ****ed me off, but shed light also in the sense that i never got it till then. this guy--who i was totally crazy about, told me that he couldn't love me b/c i hated myself so much. so i decided to try and change my attitude about it all. i guess where God comes in, for me, is that i don't want to, and can't, rely on other people for a sense of my self worth. not even cause they're bad, but they're human, they have faults, and they fail me at times. i need something more constant, perfect, loving, and truly caring/understanding of me to find that sense of self worth. i also have to find it in myself. it's really hard. at least for those that have years and years of self-hatred ingrained in them. other people that haven't experienced that can find it really hard to understand where your coming from and just how much your hurting, and how confusing it all is. (again, that's where God can be helpfull). it is a process as someone above mentioned. but i think you should do it, b/c....well frankly, it can mean the difference between life and death. the process of finding your self worth (which is where i am) is different for everyone, but what i did was figure out some of my biggest faults and started working on them proactively. i don't know, for me, taking action against the things that bothererd me about myself made me feel more empowered which is helpfull for self-esteem. be carefull that you don't overwhelm yourself when looking at yourself and all your faults and end up saying that you are a complete piece of trash cause look at all the things that are wrong with you. do it in a loving way, the way you'd treat others. and do it slowly. i don't know. i'm not really one to talk since i've done some bad things to myself and my mind; but i'm working so so so hard at regaining peace and part of that involves loving myself. and it has made a BILLION times of difference for me.

 

[chickenfeet]

I suggest a plant first. If you can love a plant, and keep it living...loving yourself will be a snap.

-laffs- that reminded me of the movie i saw, "28 Days".. where the recovering
addicts and alcoholics were told by their counselor when one of them asked how long they should wait to get into a relationship, "Get a plant and a pet and if they are both alive at the end of a year, then you are ready".

and the guy got a plant and it died.. and he started crying.. "now i'll never get laid"..



hope thats not my fate. lol. but it sounds like good advice.. i think i'll get a cactus. low maintanance.. that way i have more a chance of not killing it, and thus.. not having to be single my entire life.

tho, for the time being.. i am somewhat content being single. it allows me to work on my own needs. heal whats inside..

 

[wildthing]

Chicken feet it looks like you got alot of friends here.. I would almost say that they love you. They sure do care what happens to you. And I think you will be able to trust them too..

 

[Nico]

a quote i just came across from julia kristeva who is a thinker/writer and is often associated w/feminism, "love the other as oneself, but by being settled within oneself, by delight in oneself. Thus: heal your inner wounds which, as a result will render you then capable of effective social action or intervention in the social plane with the other." pretty much saying much of what has been said, but i liked the part about healing your inner wounds

 

[Ashlynn]

Think of something you dont like intensely, now think that there is someone who loves this thing you hate- could they covince you to love it too? It would be nearly impossible.
How can you allow someone to love you if you don't love yourself. Would you ever believe it?
Dont get me wrong, there are tons of people who do not love themselves that are married or have significant others, but Im not sure how happy they could be.
I dont think I love myself as much as I should, but Im doing much better than I did when I was a teenager.