Do you let them get dirty?

[Evening Mist]

A friend of mine was just telling me how she never lets her kids get dirty because she feels it is a waste of money if they stain their clothes, and because she wants them to always look cute and presentable. Since she told me that, I've been noticing more and more parents who fuss at their children for getting dirty.

I'm really baffled by it! I've just taken it for granted all this time I've been mothering that children are *meant* to get dirty. My children really only own play clothes -- even Sunday clothes are okay to dirty up a bit. I can always wash them. I expect them to get play outdoors every day and get dirty, and I don't say a word when the accidentally spill at the table. I do make sure they are somewhat presentable when we go places -- but when I see children in public with a stain on their shirt or a smudged face, I think nothing of it. So I'm really not too concerned if my children look a bit bedraggled either... especially if they happy!

But now I'm paranoid. Are people judging me because my kids look like kids? Do you allow your kids to play hard and get dirty?

 

[Tangnefedd]

Your friend is treating her kids in an abusive way if she makes a fuss about them getting dirty. All normal kids get dirty, that is part of being kids. They say that you eat a peck of dirt before you die! There is a problem with children being too clean, they are losing immunity to disease. and they say that the high prevalence of asthma is due to kids not grubbing around in the dirt like they used to when I was a kid in the 50's.

I bet your kids are much happier because they are allowed to be kids!

 

[katelyn]

I think kids need some time to be dirty. You know - playing in the sandbox, making mud pies, etc. I'll probably have separate clothes for that down and dirty play time, so that it doesn't matter if they are stained or ratty, since that's what they are there for.

 

[faith177]

my kids can get as dirty as they can, we have a big yard they play in the sprinkler dig in the dirt they are kids its fun

 

[mamaneenie]

At the moment in Australia it is stinking hot. I'm talking almost 40 C. When my little one goes outside, it's usually in a nappy/training pants and nothing else, and definitely not until after 4 pm. lol. He would burn to a crisp. He paints and plays with his chalkboard easel, usually gets paint and chalk all over him, then I give him an iceblock (made with orange juice or something like that) he then gets sticky with all that, and then gets chucked in the bath lol. He has fun and I have fun knowing he is learning something (he is very creative).

In the winter I just make sure he has separate clothes for around the house, and ones for going out somewhere special. I actually buy a lot of his clothes from op shops, and charity stores, so I never really spend anything more than $2.00 or $3.00 on most clothing anyway. My son is allowed to make as much mess as he wants outside, on rainy days he is allowed to jump in puddles (if he has a raincoat and gumboots on of course) play in the park and do all the things that little boys and girls should be doing.

 

[SiteCR2]

a child needs to test and try things. never having a chance to experiment will hamper their overall education of life.
do you remember that last time you just slide in mud? or on ice? fun huh.
but believe it or not you learned about slippery effects. basic physics. kids don't know it but they usually remember later, just don't realize it was physics.
me i thought it just plain fun.

 

[razzelflabben]

I agree with all of the above, all that is except the idea of keeping the kids clean all the time. Dirt believe it or not makes healthier kids. But I wanted to take a moment to share with ya all our youngest.

We have 5 children, I thought they all knew how to get dirty that was before our youngest, now 4, was born. I have never seen a child collect dirt as fast as he can! I have seen the day we would put him in the bath, and without letting him our of our hands, would be dirty by the time we got to the car. Sometimes we get nasty stares or comments (not the norm) but the alternative is washing him so often that his poor little skin would be chapped beyond reason. We have opted for simply letting those who can't understand stare. The real problem is that a couple of years ago, we tried to sell our house. No one could watch the children so we had to have a show with the kids there. We were turned into children services, one of the issues was that the children were "filthy". To the credit of children's services, they found no problems but I guess the point is, what has happened to our society when a little dirt on our child's face is a crime. New studies show it is healthy. It has been acceptable for centuries. But suddenly it is so wrong that we involve children's services. I have a very serious problem with that and will continue to allow my children to be dirty and fight whenever the oppertunity arises to preserve the right for my children to allow their children to get dirty.

 

[EdmundBlackadderTheThird]

Wow 5 Kids...you are blessed! I only have 4 right now but leaving it up to God for the next one or two

I don't mind my kids getting dirty, not in the least, but there is a line somehwere that I haven't found. My daughter is like Pigpen from peanuts, she can get so dirty it is hard to find the little girl in there. Then she gets her brothers dirty as well. THey get dirty on their own but the level of dirty they get is completely enhanced by her! I think there is a line to getting dirty. I don't mind my kids digging holes in the backyard and "plating" things, playing tag and falling down in the dirt, but rubbing mud into your hair crosses some line I think. It might be different if it was occasional but this is an every day occurence. I am trying to find the line between dirty and filthy at this point, any help would be appreciated.

 

[Krystina661]

But now I'm paranoid. Are people judging me because my kids look like kids? Do you allow your kids to play hard and get dirty?

I have a 3 year boy, and he's always getting dirty..(grass stains, food on the clothes, even gets sand in his hair and shoes after he plays at the park) but what can you do? It's normal for kids to get messy, and it shows that their healthy and most likley active. I take care of children for a living, and we've had a few parents over the years (typically their first child) who complain when there kids are sent home not perfectly clean! We literally use to change the kids clothes into spare clothes we had, and before they were picked up, we would change them back into the clothes they came in. How could one possibly let kids go outside, play, and have fun without getting dirty?

 

[E-beth]

I wish I had a nickel for every mother who send her kid to my preschool class dressed up in their patent leather party shoes and satin dresses or their dress pants and white shirts. Then they complain when the kids come back with even a wild hair peeking out from under the braid.

I let my son be a little piggie all the time. I want him to experiment with new food, which means I have to let him eat his yogurt on his own. He gets filthy. I will wipe him down before we go in public, and maybe change his clothes if they are gross, but if we stay at home, he only gets the occasional wipedown until his bath-time.

When I was a kid I used to intentionally get as dirty playing outside as I could. I used to bury myself in the dirt. I would scrub dirt into my skin, just because I felt it was cool how dirty the bath water got and how refreshing my bubble bath was.

As long as your kids are happy and don't smell, let them wallow. Who cares what the paper doll mommies say.

 

[razzelflabben]

I had a friend in high school whose skin was a darker (not black) color. I always thought she was so beautiful. She got called to the nurses office because "she was always dirty". She bathed every day, it was just the color of her skin. I don't care about what other people think until in infringes on my rights as a human being.

 

[razzelflabben]

Wow 5 Kids...you are blessed! I only have 4 right now but leaving it up to God for the next one or two

I don't mind my kids getting dirty, not in the least, but there is a line somehwere that I haven't found. My daughter is like Pigpen from peanuts, she can get so dirty it is hard to find the little girl in there. Then she gets her brothers dirty as well. THey get dirty on their own but the level of dirty they get is completely enhanced by her! I think there is a line to getting dirty. I don't mind my kids digging holes in the backyard and "plating" things, playing tag and falling down in the dirt, but rubbing mud into your hair crosses some line I think. It might be different if it was occasional but this is an every day occurence. I am trying to find the line between dirty and filthy at this point, any help would be appreciated.

I don't see anything wrong with the pig pen type child other than how frustrating it would be for the parent. Aren't you "lucky" The only thought I had was possitive reinforcement. Let them actually garden, instructed dig holes. This one worked on us until my brother figured it out and asked if this was real work or busy work. Or maybe raise earthworms. My grandfather raised worms in a large box in his shed, we loved helping. He used them for fishing but you could enrich you soil when they get to plentiful. I have heard that you can use it as a type of garbage disposal under the sink in a plastic box. Fun, and educational and It might help to curb their dirt desire. Of course, it could always backfire and they could be more into seeing how dirty they can get. We have obsesive children but in other areas, No matter how hard I try, I can't draw their attention away from it to something else so I focus on curbing rather that stopping. For example, our eldest, now 14 is an animal person, no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't get him away from studying animals so eventually I gave up trying to "enlighten" him to other subjects and incorporated animals into everyday life. He is still obsessed but knows a lot more as well. Letting your children write abc's (I don't know their ages) or draw pictures in the dirt lets them be dirty but also see beyond the dirt to a bigger picture. Just some thoughts for what it's worth.

 

[Pastor_Benjamin]

Now you know kids are suppose to get dirty.

 

[tonya]

GOD BLESS...I AGREE WITH EACH PERSON..AFTER ALL ISN'T THAT WHAT SPRAY AND WASH WAS MADE FOR????????

 

[Tangnefedd]

My husband's mother was a very religious woman and a bit of a control freak. She and God agreed that my husband should not get his clothes dirty when he was a little boy!!!! How do you play soccer or rugby without getting your kit dirty for heavens sake??? I think this was abusive. Children need to grub about in the dirt, to stop them is wrong. Having said that, our son who has Down's Syndrome HATES getting his hands dirty and it was a penance if we suggested he might like to play out in the garden or use finger paints!!!

 

[Melbelle]

I belive that kids are suppose to get dirty, its in a kids natural to be dirty my son will be aloud to get dirty when he is old enough to play like that lol..

 

[Momzilla]

Not only do we let our boys get dirty, we also let them make messes within reason. Part of childhood is experimenting, and sometimes stuff gets spilled in the process.

Yesterday, my older son spent an hour coloring our crepe myrtle tree with sidewalk chalk. A lot of parents I know would have been horrified--I helped. I actually kind of hope the chalk doesn't come off, as it would be a nice memory in 20 years!

 

[oldrooster]

Kids need to get dirty, in fact I go out and get dirty with them every now and again. They are not furniture to be covered up in plastic.

 

[Andry]

I let my 4yo son get dirty, but I don't let them be dirty. Once they're done getting dirty, I won't let him be dirty for long. After a good romp in the mud, it's to the bath. After messing half their chocolate ice cream on their clothes, it's change to a new shirt (we always keep an extra set in the cars) or at least on the way home to change). Needless to say, our household is constantly doing laundry.

While there are those who would argue that a bit of dirt is 'healthy' for kids, a little bit of germs (or at least the bad ones) can kill you too. My son was born premature, so the time he spent in the intensive care nursery meant you were washing your hands all the time really clean.

Also, my dad was in the military, so we were raised in a 'military' home - being dirty was not an option. Rudeness was not an option. Whining was not an option, and so forth.

Although now I'm far from being that strict, some things stuck with me. While I agree with most parents here, sometimes I think we use these kinds of excuses because we as parents can be just plain lazy; we are sometimes too lazy to clean our kids! While socio-economic factors may be determinants as to why some kids wear dirty clothes, from my own observations, most times it's because moms and dads just don't do a good enough cleaning.

An example, one of my pet peeves is kids with snot all over their noses obviously in need of a good wipe, while the parent is literally within reaching distance enjoying their latte oblivious of their kid. But oh, forgot, they're suppose to be that as part of their growing up. Not!

 

[Crofter]

Too many children these days are too clean... they are dressed like designer fashion acessories always in crisp new clothes... this makes my kids look dirty and tatty because we use clothes till they fall apart at the seams and when the kids were small always used new to me clothes... and passed them in to new bodies when we finished with them.


My girl is far more dirty than my boy... I often find people happy to see a dirty boy... shows he's had a good time... but a dirty girl... that is frowned upon.

My kids though seem not to notice when they need to put on clean clothes... teaching them this seems rather unexpectedly difficult.


When my daughter was a baby a friend had her son at the same time... we were both teachers from the same school... but she would not let her son get dirty at all... not let him feed himself or anything and sterilized evey toy he played with... right until over 18 months old. She would look at my daughter feeding herself and say how disgusting... she couldnt see how I could let my daughter be so disgusting.