Do You "Know" A Person Of Another Race?

[Belk]

I am acquaintances with people of other races but not close friends. Though I tend to be an introvert so I have very few close friends.

 

[PsychoSarah]

Thaaat's kinda what makes you hip in my book.

-_- ok, I guess.

Back to the race topic, there are at least 5 different races represented through marriage within just the two generations before mine. More if you want to get all late 19th century about it.

 

[Inkachu]

Thanks for the replies and poll answers so far Keep em coming.

 

[Mystman]

Also, do you think a survey should bear more weight than first-hand testimonies from actual people? If you've got a survey saying "most whites don't have non-white friends", but you go out and ask 100 white people about it, and 75% of them say they do... which is the truth?

Bolding mine.

You just described what a survey is
(I think I understand what you mean, but still )

Anyway. I have a group of 8 good friends who I see a few times a month and email almost every day. One of them is chinese, another indonesian. No black people, but they're somewhat rare in my surroundings (iirc I've only had 1 as a classmate in 19 years of education..)

But it wouldn't surprise me if many people from the dominant race in a country don't have any good friends from other races. Most people don't have enormous numbers of friends. Say that 50% of people in a country are white. Because minorities tend to be clustered in certain areas, most white people will live in areas with (far) fewer than 50% minorities. Say that your school/workplace only has 10-25% minorities. If you then only have 4 good friends, there's a good chance all of them will be white, even if you picked your friends by blind chance.

 

[jacknife]

This thread stems from the "Farrakhan" thread over in News & Current Events. I hope he won't mind me mentioning him, but Dgiharris and I were discussing how many people have active, in-depth acquaintances with people of other races and ethnicities. Do we stick to our own color and culture by default? Do we simply say a passing "hello" to the people of another race in our workplaces, at church, etc? Dgiharris believes that most white people don't really know any black people, and our interactions are nothing more than perhaps a smile or brief greeting. I don't think that's true, but I'd like to know what fellow CFers think and have experienced themselves.

If people don't mind identifying their own race in their replies, that would be appreciated

Please keep replies civil. Anyone flaming or purposefully being rude, negative, or derogatory will be reported.

The poll is multi-choice, so choose as many answers as apply to you. It's also private, so no one can see your answers.

i have a childhood friend of a different race, good guy got picked on a lot in high school though i think the pranks me and my friends pulled on each other were far worse. i still remember that time we ribber cemented each others lockers shut.

 

[keith99]

If I were staying my normal (for me) answering the question strictly I'd have to say no, I have no black friends.

But out of a full year of German in college I only took out a handful of things. Top of that list is a German way of looking at friends. I count myself as having 2 friends. The second best of my friends was the person I called when my stepson was in trouble with the police and he came with us to the station and cleared things up. The other is a closer friend, I just do not have a specific incident.

I grew up in a time where there was de facto segregation. A time, not a place Los Angeles is hardly a hotbed of racism. But my High School had only 1 black out of over a 1000 students. Still at that time I worked with one black guy my father hired occasionally and he was a good guy.

In college I was involved in sport, particularly Rugby. In Rugby at least in my circle color matters little. Islander or not matters some. One asks forward or back, not black or white. When I was attending an evangelical Church the leader of a bible study I went to was black. By the standards of most he was my friend. On an objective level I was invited to their wedding reception. Hmm I think I met his (white) wife before he did come to think of it. As far as I know I was the only white non tennis player at the reception. Oh and when one of the other guys in the group was having marital issues I was one of the few he confided in.

My previous position had several black co-workers, all good people.

My current position is a United Nations. Chinese, Japanese, Indian, Black, Jew, Muslim (not U.S. born, I just forget which country). It is nice to have co-worked you can ask when you forget the name of a cricket player.

But strictly speaking I have no black friends. At least by my measure of friends.

 

[Freodin]

Blacks, whites, hispanos... race.

Some people have a weird kind of image of humans.

 

[Inkachu]

Keith - is that by choice or by circumstance?

 

[Paul01]

My wife is hispanic/black/S. American indian mix. I'm white. My kids are a mix thereof. We have a broad mix of friends.

 

[Archivist]

I previously dated a wonderful young lady whose parents came to Canada from India. Also dated a beautiful Muslim lady who was born in Iraq but raised in the US. Have also dated two Jewish ladies. My next-door neighbor (for at least a few more days--I'm relocating because of a change in jobs) and good friend is black. Many of my co-workers over the years have been black, Asian. Don't see why it matters.

 

[JohnLocke]

Whether a particular person has deep meaningful relationships with a particular person of a particular demographic is simply unnecessary, as is understanding.

E.g.
I do not understand why it is that certain of my friends are able to use the "N-word," why they would choose to do so or why it is that my use of that term would be a grievous faux pas. All that is necessary to leave in peace with these friends is to accept that I cannot use that term nor can I criticize them for their use of that term.

I think we would all be better served if we just, "Kept our hands to yourself." and "Kept civil tongues in our heads."

Understanding another can be used to foster equitable relationship or malicious manipulation. Understanding, by itself, does not regulate behavior or prevent abuse.

Rather than understanding, which is hard, time intensive, and not necessarily effective at preventing bad behavior, I would propose that we abide by the basic rules of civility as both easier to achieve and more likely to succeed.

 

[Strathos]

I don't have any black friends per se, but I do have a Hispanic friend and a Middle Eastern friend.

 

[Cute Tink]

I have friends from a few different races and other minorities.

I don't purposely seek out people from specific demographics to form friendships with, though. I don't see the point in that. I don't resist friendships from people of minorities though.

 

[MehGuy]

I have plenty of black Muslim friends.

For some reason I get along with them well, most of them seem to be pretty friendly. I've had Asian friends before too. Most are white, but that's due to demographics.

 

[Inkachu]

Same here, Cute. I don't actively seek out friends of any race or color or culture. I make friends with who I like, and I like all sorts of people.

So far, every respondent has answered positively to knowing people of other races. Awesomeness.

 

[Hetta]

Recent public surveys bear him out. Demographically, it should not be suprising if most white people don't have non-white friends.

How so? I find it hard to imagine - or maybe this is about the area of the US in which I live - that anyone can go through life not making friends with people of other races. My two close work friends are Hispanic and African-American, and my other friends are mainly Hispanic, in fact my only close white friend is Russian. If I were to actually be racist, I could choose to seek out only white people and befriend them I suppose ... I just can't imagine forcing myself to like people because their skin color is 'right'.

 

[Hetta]

Also, we are a mixed race family, that is my family - husband and kids. No, that's no right. My husband is his race, I am my race, and the kids are a mix of both.

 

[Hetta]

I kind of have a little theory that foreign speaks to foreign .. perhaps. It could be completely wrong. I just know that I have been more accepted by non-white Americans, and in the case of my Russian friend, by first generation immigrants, than by white Americans. So, one of my oldest friends from arriving in the US is Hispanic and, along the way, these are the relationships that have 'stuck'. I don't feel the prejudice from non-white Americans or first generation immigrants that I feel from (most) white Americans, and they are not hung up on figuring out my family either. They just accept it. Shrug. May just be me of course.

p.s. sorry for 3 posts in a row ... it's a boring day.

 

[selfinflikted]

p.s. sorry for 3 posts in a row ... it's a boring day.

The horror!

 

[Hetta]

The horror!

Sackcloth and ashes for me.