Do you have "Oneitis"?

[HisGraceAbounds]

I have done that in middle and high school and even in college but then I noticed that "the most wonderful girl" was every girl I got fixed on.

I've only experienced it once. Aside from that experience, I've always easily forgotten women I've crossed paths with. To this day I still kind of find it 'curious' that in almost...26 years...I've only met one person who made a big enough of an impression to stick in my mind and cause me to fixate.

 

[Not David]

Why do any of you get that attach to someone you are not in are real relationship with? Obviously your attachment is to an imagined version of the person you are focusing on.

Someone once said that when a man meets a woman he is already thinking about the children. I guess men are more romantic.

 

[Citanul]

Someone once said that when a man meets a woman he is already thinking about the children.

Not if they don't want children...

 

[Not David]

Not if they don't want children...

It's an expression

 

[JustSomeBloke]

Do you have "Oneitis"?

Most definitely not! Becoming fixated on someone, in the belief that they are the one and only that you are intended to be with, is a little like taking yourself hostage. If the person you desire does not reciprocate then it's a form of self-sabotage and voluntarily making yourself the prisoner of someone who is not interested in your emotional suffering and heartbreak.

 

[blackribbon]

Someone once said that when a man meets a woman he is already thinking about the children. I guess men are more romantic.

Honestly?? You feel that way about every woman that you meet in the day? That is actually sort of creepy and not romantic at all.

 

[Not David]

Honestly?? You feel that way about every woman that you meet in the day? That is actually sort of creepy and not romantic at all.

Are you a woman by the way?

 

[blackribbon]

Are you a woman by the way?

Yes. Been female for over 50 years, now.

There have only been a few men that I'd have considered having babies with...that is a relationship that takes time to build. I only actually had babies with one man. He was a good dad and husband and friend. Even though I was the only woman for him after he committed to me at the alter, it would have been awful to have tried to live up to your "oneitis" which includes a perfect woman. I preferred a man who recognized my weaknesses, helped be my strength in those areas, and loved me even as an imperfect person. And in the areas we both were weak, that was areas where our relationship was weak and needed the most work. No one is perfect.

 

[blackribbon]

I did date and love a man at one time who had oneitis. I felt so lonely because in his efforts, he sort of took over my dreams and took off with them without me. Everything was so focused on pleasing me that I sort of felt like I was simply taking up space and didn't really have a purpose. He also didn't really see the real me either. He was a great guy but we didn't make it in the end.