When it comes to looking for a companion, do you think you ever expect to much out of the other person? or Do you think you are shopping for a Lexus when you only have money for an escort, figuratively speaking (out of your league)?
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Do you expect to much?
- Thread starter Stanfi
- Start date
the_man
" My heart is spoken for&
I do not think I require more than I can give.mrstace said:
Side Bar: I don't like to think anyone is out of anyone else's league, because that seems to imply that some people are superior than others (the sports analogy implies that the Major leagues are superior than the minor leagues). I like to think of it as people can be better matched with other people.
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Risen Tree
previously Rising Tree
- Nov 20, 2002
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Without question I do. This is something I hope to have dealt with by the time I am married.mrstace said:
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You have to realize that in this sense it really goes both ways. I think we as people expect so much out of ourselves. Part of it is simply this TV culture where everything seems to fit together in a half hour or an hour. Part of it is seeing different pieces of perfection everywhere and just pasting them together as a collage in our minds of what we want.mrstace said:
Truth be known, we don't even have what we want in ourselves, so finding that in someone else is already pretty much out of the question.
Society seems to deny that we are mortal, insomuch as it can. It tells you that you can look beautiful as long as you want, that you can get married and then have affairs. It tells you that you can do these really extreme sports and just have fun without getting hurt, or that you can do stupid things with your body and it's all okay. It does seemingly all it can to ignore the reality of the human condition.
I think the key is really in finding who you are and what your purpose is. If you can find those things, you can really live. But why entangle someone in your life without having a clue about that first? I mean really?
I guess if you have someone that you've known all your life, if could be acceptable just by virtue of consistency to marry. Still, I mean if he was working on oil tankers out in the ocean and you were doing something more firmly planted like School Vice Principal or something like that. Just seems like it would be a hard life...
I know I'm jumping topically a bit but you all get me, right?
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hotknikkels
™Barbarian Christian™
I think the question is irrevelant in one sense, man, how can I explain this? Basically your standards should fall into alignment with God's standards for your life. I think that you should look for someone who will compliment you, but before that you gotta get your life sorted out. It is true that your future spouse will complete you but only 2 whole people make a complete whole. 2 half people make an uncomplete half. Does that make sense? You gotta get your life in check and those things you look for in the other person should be things that are in place in your life, if not, then why are you looking? You should close your eyes and focus on God if you stuff is all messed up! That is what I am doing! This ain't meant as a diss, cause I am in this place at the moment! Man, when I first learned this it was like a wake up call! Hope this helps you on your journey! Don't worry, you don't need to be perfect before you say yes at the altar, but you gotta get some stuff sorted, check out some of my other posts for more details in this section!
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Hewitt
God's little drummer boy
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I think mrstace is right on. Everyone has the picture of the perfect mate in their mind. Unfortunately, nobody is going to fufill every bit of the description. However, that doesn't take aware from how awesome and special that mate can be. God won't let us down and He knows what's best, even if our human desires get in the way from time to time.
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Well, if your cup is overflowing then you'll never have to worry about it - given the leading of God.Hewitt said:
Maybe it's from the Spirit. Maybe it's from the optimism that we as Christians get from looking to God.
Still, when you're His... when you really are His, then everything else is inconsequential, so to speak.
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wvmtnkid
Order of the Candle
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I find it intersting only males have responded so far! Maybe it is just a coincidence.... 
I think I have high expectations of the other person, because I have high expectations of myself. I have come this far in my life as a single and I won't settle for nothing less than God's best for me. I have seen the consequences of friends who have done so. I have been told by friends and family that my standards are too high. And I have upon occasion lowered those standards and paid for it with heart break.
While I know none of us are perfect men or women, I have to trust God for the "perfect" man for me. Meaning, he will have his flaws (as I have mine) but, in the end, he will be the one that will compliment me and my life. I am not looking for someone to complete me, only Jesus can do that. I think it is unfair to expect a human to do what only the Divine can. I think that is why we get so disappointed in our relationships with each other.
I think I have high expectations of the other person, because I have high expectations of myself. I have come this far in my life as a single and I won't settle for nothing less than God's best for me. I have seen the consequences of friends who have done so. I have been told by friends and family that my standards are too high. And I have upon occasion lowered those standards and paid for it with heart break.
While I know none of us are perfect men or women, I have to trust God for the "perfect" man for me. Meaning, he will have his flaws (as I have mine) but, in the end, he will be the one that will compliment me and my life. I am not looking for someone to complete me, only Jesus can do that. I think it is unfair to expect a human to do what only the Divine can. I think that is why we get so disappointed in our relationships with each other.
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This right here is so important!!! So many times we expect another human being to fill every void in our life, and that is just not possible. I was listening to Joyce Meyer one time. She said something I will never forget. She said that we will be dissapointed at some point in time with every human relationship that we have. We have expectations of what we would want another person to say to us, and how we want them to treat us, and that other person has no idea what those expectations are. Only Christ knows what we need on the inside.wvmtnkid said:
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hotknikkels
™Barbarian Christian™
I think part of the problem is that, yeh, we look for a partner to fullfill us in areas that only God can. Also we look for a partner to make us feel accepted, because we have not learnt that acceptance from God. Now before you are ready to look for a partner, I think that you must learn about the acceptance that the Father has for you, otherwise you will throw way too much pressure onto your relationship with your partner!
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