Do you ever get bored with your spouse/marriage?

[Autumnleaf]

I thought the OP was "is it boring". A couple of folks answered, then it became the old saw...love isn't a feeling.

True..it isnt just a feeling and its action etc etc. Yes....it can get boring....honest

Then love is a feeling. A feeling akin to being bored.

 

[sdmsanjose]

Do you ever get bored with your spouse/marriage?

Being single I can date an endless supply of people. So if I'm with someone and either of us lose that lovin feelin we can move on and its not that big of a deal. This is one reason I fear marriage. I think eventually all our stories will become old news and we'll be left in a stagnant relationship rehashing our glory days wondering if either of us could have done better. How do you avoid this, can you avoid it?

Do you ever get bored with your spouse/marriage?
Sometimes, but really it is your responsibility to be un-bored.
Are you trying to make the other person responsible for your contentment in life?



How do you avoid this, can you avoid it? YES

You avoid it by doing what it takes to build a good life, which takes years. If it works out for you in the latter years you will have a person that is more connected to you than anyone else in this world. That person will be more loyal, more trustworthy, and have your best interest at heart. I can guarantee you that all those people that you lost that lovin feeling for and left them will not be there for you.

If you are in a loving relationship and you “…lose that loving feeling” and move on and it is no big deal, then your relationships are shallow.

If you are in your 20s, and maybe even in your 30s I can understand your post and realize that that is the way many young people think. However if you are 40s or older you need to grow up and start realizing how life works.


If you do it right you may have children and grandchildren that make life rich and NOT boring.


I have been married for 42 years; have three children and 6 grandchildren. My wife and grandson and I are leaving in a few hours to go to the airport to get my great grandson and we are very excited and NOT bored.

Relationships that are dependant on keeping you excited and not ever bored is a fantasy and immature thinking. Family is what is most important!

 

[Romanseight2005]

Sdmsanjose,
I totally agree. I was thinking that if a person gets bored, that tells more about them, than the other person. It's called a lack of contentment, and if you are looking for someone to entertain you, then you will be moving from person to person, because the novelty will always wear off.

 

[Autumnleaf]

Sdmsanjose,
I totally agree. I was thinking that if a person gets bored, that tells more about them, than the other person. It's called a lack of contentment, and if you are looking for someone to entertain you, then you will be moving from person to person, because the novelty will always wear off.

"Only boring people get bored." Eh?

 

[peckaboo]

"Only boring people get bored." Eh?

Nobody said that only boring people get bored. But if you find that you're in a pattern of repeatedly feeling bored, then yeah, you're probably kind of boring. I mean, if you can't even entertain yourself how enertaining do you think you are to other people?

 

[CarrieAnnC]

Being single I can date an endless supply of people. So if I'm with someone and either of us lose that lovin feelin we can move on and its not that big of a deal. This is one reason I fear marriage. I think eventually all our stories will become old news and we'll be left in a stagnant relationship rehashing our glory days wondering if either of us could have done better. How do you avoid this, can you avoid it?

Eleanor Roosevelt say it best - "never be bored, and you will never be boring."

I can say that I have never been bored with my husband in over 30 years marriage. It is a choice in some ways. I have never "looked" at another man to see if he has something my husband does not have, but even if I did look I don't believe there is a better man. What is to be bored in this life? We live it once and then we are gone to heaven. Best to make most of our loved ones and enjoy every moment as best we can and not always look for "greener grass".

 

[Romanseight2005]

Nobody said that only boring people get bored. But if you find that you're in a pattern of repeatedly feeling bored, then yeah, you're probably kind of boring. I mean, if you can't even entertain yourself how enertaining do you think you are to other people?

That's just it. If you are looking to another person to entertain you, then that is the issue right there. I mean, if you are talking about going to a movie, or seeing a comedian, who's job it is tp entertain you, that's one thing, but your spouse is there for you to love, not entertain you.

 

[lisah]

Being single I can date an endless supply of people. So if I'm with someone and either of us lose that lovin feelin we can move on and its not that big of a deal. This is one reason I fear marriage. I think eventually all our stories will become old news and we'll be left in a stagnant relationship rehashing our glory days wondering if either of us could have done better. How do you avoid this, can you avoid it?

Yeah, your stories will become "old news" and you will grow old. The stories of ME become the stories of US. You will find you talk about certain things and enjoy sharing the memories.

What are your expectations when it comes to aging? I never expected my husband to entertain me. He is reliable and often predictable. There is a peace that comes with that over the years.

At least, for some people. I honestly can not imagine being married to someone else.

My parents have been married for almost sixty years. They have always been devoted to each other. Twenty years ago, they began taking dancing lessons together. It was the first shared activity they did as a couple and they had loads of fun!

Mom now has alzheimers and is bedridden. He is just as devoted to her as he has always been.

What do you expect life to be like when you get old? Given that my father's mother took cared of her mother in her home until the day she died, I think he had reasonable expectations about life and family and the depth of devotion it takes.

If your expectations are not reasonable, then definately . . . just keep dating until they become reasonable.

 

[LinkH]

Bored? Not if things are good in your relationship. I guess if one person gets bitter toward the other or isn't treating the other one right, either or both parties could get tired of being married.

I've been married coming up on 12 years this month. I am not bored with my wife. there are plenty of challenges in life to keep you from getting bored.

If you live right with the Lord, then you won't be having sex outside of marriage. Let's see, dating an 'endless supply' of people and never having sex, or marrying a beautiful woman and having a regular sex life? Some people may consider the former to be more exciting. I prefer the latter. Sorry to bring the sex issue up, but it is an important issue when it comes to marriage. It is what separates marriage from having friends of the opposite gender--or it should. Through sexual intimacy, children are produced.

If you aren't wanting to get married, what is the purpose of dating? If it is to find a fornication partner for a little while, that's not pleasing to God. It isn't very kind to the children who are born through such unions to leave them fatherless, or to the children who are murdered through abortion. Dating girls with no particular intention to marry isn't very kind to them, especially if they are looking to married. It's almost like fraud. Why play with their emotions and get them entangled in romantic feelings if you know you aren't going to marry any of them? Why do that to yourself if you know the relationship is going to end and you are the other person is going to get their heart ripped out. It is like playing Russian roulette with your emotions with no prize for the winner. What is the point?

And why 'date'? If an endless supply of people are interesting, why not have a bunch of friends? You can have more than one at a time, and you can have friends even if you are married? Friends sure can be interesting. There is a nearly endless supply of people to be friends with.

 

[iambren]

bored with spouse?

My spouse said I was always predictable but never boring. I kinda liked that comment. I felt the same about her.


OTOH, if I was married to a truly boring person that would be terrible!!! I don't think I could humanly have any possibility of being married to them. I've met several boring people in my life and it is agony to talk with them; it's like all life/energy is drained from my person. Really weird and I've wondered what causes all this when it happens. Fortunately they are in the minority, and I do not mean to disparage other people. I just can not go there.

 

[hijklmnop]

If you're getting bored then maybe it's just time to put some effort towards having some more fun and making some new memories together. It's amazing what life two people putting effort in can breathe back into a relationship!

 

[Created2Write]

^^^What she said.

 

[parsley]

If you are looking to another person to entertain you, then that is the issue right there.

So true.
None of us enter a relationship planning to be the one enduring an industrial accident. We react to stories with, "Oh those are the people who get amputations," as though we are immune to life's trials and other people are supposed to take them on. People can get boring, but life is seldom boring. BFine, thank you for sharing the difficult times you went through. It must have been so discouraging, and taken a lot out of you.

If a couple is too focused on the relationship, and ignores the life around them, then they have plenty of reason to get stagnant. We all need to grow and learn new things, develop skills and outside relationships.

If a couple limit their attention to each other, then they only have the content of what they already know, and the experiences they have had together. Nothing left to talk about, bc they were both there. But life has plenty of things to explore, and the two people can come together to share their outside adventures.

I think the key to long-term sustainability is to take the focus off the relationship. Don't spend time weighing whether you are good together or not -- just keep going forward in life, sticking to prior commitments. You don't have to like a person every minute of the day, or agree with what they've done.

If you're bored with your spouse, call up a friend. Don't rely on a spouse to provide all your happiness in life.

 

[gracefulone1980]

Never bored here. We have grown over the years and things are still exciting. It's like a book and we are just moving onto new chapters. Our stories never get old either. =o)

 

[Beauty4Ashes]

nope. It gets more wonderful every day.

 

[ferreira]

I wouldnt call it bored as much as I would say "used to a certain routine"

Not that its a bad thing but I find that doing spontainious things can do wonders for a married couple.

My favorite thing is when my wife and I decide to go to the movies at a spur of the moment. It feels like we are newly dating