shineyourlight
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- Mar 6, 2020
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There’s a lot of comparison in relationships. More than many suspect. ‘Good news’ is a double-edged sword. It fosters competition, jealousy, etc. Oftentimes the things we take for granted are irritants. They’re seething and you’re clueless. Oneupmanship is overt in some connections. But not in the majority. You’ll find it everywhere. Even the church.
I’ve heard it from both. She nudges him to do more or take on more responsibility. Some are brazen and admit the person they’ve compared him to. He’s guilty of the same and prods her behavior and appearance. Both are chasing ideals within the union and haven’t developed contentment with their choice. They’re after something better.
I’m not opposed to helping someone improve or overcome a challenge. But there’s a difference between tweaking and a teardown.
This may sound countercultural but I think a lot of this is the result of oversharing. The want to be heard, understood, and validated inspires conversation. But little thought is given to the audience. Oftentimes they’re talking with people in similar situations or worse. They haven’t found a solution but their advice is trustworthy because you’re friends.
That’s how problems run in groups. They’re struggling with the same issues and it never dawns on them to try a different source. It’s like blindfolding a man and trying to hit a target. But the target is you. Why would you subject yourself to that?
Observation is the remedy. We need to spend more time listening and confirming our impressions with the Lord. Because the truth comes out. You’ll see beyond the image.
We seek agreement in the natural and that’s the problem. When you sift through the spirit there’s a different barometer. It’s not easily swayed or impressed. What prevents them from doing so is the want for acceptance.
Because we want to be accepted we compromise our relationships, counsel, and all that matters. The fruit of our decisions is the rut, stronghold, closed doors, and other things we’re unable to conquer.
Anyway, it's right to listen to the Lord in what he says but the temptation to listen to friends instead can be very strong. Having the right friends however (or none if you can't find good friends for the time being) can be very refreshing. I'd say it's one of the secret to contentment and happiness in whatever situation you are in even if you hit rock bottom.
That's a danger, for sure. The idea that somewhere there is this perfect person who can perfectly fulfill all of our marital hopes and dreams is setting one's relationship up to fail.For myself? Not really, though God can be a God of surprises.
Others, yes, some have "the One". But the idea itself can be harmful at times because a person might think, "I like this person, but could I like someone else more?" Or, "They have this or that good quality, but they are missing something else, so maybe they aren't the One". It can encourage unrealistic expectations.
That's the better attitude to have. More about building a great life together rather than expecting the person themselves to be great in every way.That's a danger, for sure. The idea that somewhere there is this perfect person who can perfectly fill all of our marital hopes and dreams is setting one's relationship up to fail.
Maybe I'm simple in that "the one" to me has always been the one that I marry. More like after finding my imperfect yet lovely wife, it will be a waste of energy to entertain the possibility of somebody else. Frankly, I'd rather just get on with living at that point.
There is another danger and more unsettling where a person takes those traits and decides you must be their mate as they fit their criteria and you have no choice in the matter as God says it must be so.That's a danger, for sure. The idea that somewhere there is this perfect person who can perfectly fulfill all of our marital hopes and dreams is setting one's relationship up to fail.
There is a difference between a practical solution and an emotional one. Relying on another is merely a crutch and at some point that crutch may break. Women also live longer than men as a rule. Is their relationship based on material things in the end?
Women also live longer than men as a rule. Is their relationship based on material things in the end?
No. I can marry any man who wants to marry me.
I wouldn't marry him if he isn't a believer, and a few other scruples, but yeah. What is wise is not sovereignly ordained. I refuse to blame God for my decision to marry a certain person or not marry at all.
Approximately 1/3,500,000,000.
Considering for most of history and throughout the world, marriages were 'arranged' (including biblically) and not initially for love but as a traditional agreement designed for partnership in the chores of daily life. Procreation remained and remains a wild card as many births were by no means the result of said arrangements (research how witnessed consummation was once part of the wedding ritual with the Hebrew people). Nature even stepped in and solved the problem of inbreeding within isolated tribes by the rape and pillaging by marauders over neighbouring villages or territories. Such is the way of the world regardless of how much we try to improve or romanticise life.As far as whether or not God weaves the destinies of two particular individuals for each other, perhaps in some cases but it seems unlikely to be the norm.
Considering for most of history and throughout the world, marriages were 'arranged' (including biblically) and not initially for love but as a traditional agreement designed for partnership in the chores of daily life.
It still goes on although less prominent in 1st world nations. They will more likely continue to take on a more contract free independent and disposable attitude.Do you see that returning in light of current circumstances and those to come?
Do you believe in ideas like “The One,” that single special person who’s been prepared by God for you.
Is the idea childish Disney twaddle infiltrating the church, or does the belief in that one special person seem natural, since Eve was made for Adam and Adam gave up part of himself for Eve.
What’s your theory on one true love and soul mate culture?
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