Do women lose respect for men they have power over?

[Tannic]

I'm going to change my answer a little. When my husband lost his job last year (for the third time) and refused to go out and look for a new one, I lost respect for him. I lost respect because I do believe that the man should be the primary bread winner. I lost respect because I got up and went to work everyday in order to pay the bills so that he could sit at home and do whatever he wanted. He's a full grown healthy man. Fully capable of working and providing for his family, but he chose not to.

Sorry, I know that sounds awful, but it's the truth.

Edited to add: But I still didn't think I had any power over him. If I had any kind of power I would have been able to talk him into getting a new job before things got so bad.

Honestly that's reasonable and I'll lose respect for him.

 

[Tannic]

I have a very strong personality (and thats saying it nicely) I can and have easily dominated men - Remi was the first man who would actually stand up to me.
And I think that's partly the reason I was so attracted to him.
I didn't want a doormat as a husband, and he needed to be strong enough to stand up to me, or I'd completely lose respect for him.

Somehow I was blessed enough to find a man who wouldn't back down, but was also unbelievably gentle.

If he let me do whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted, how I wanted - No I wouldn't respect him.

Peace,
- Niff

Was it his authority?

 

[mkgal1]

As it's already been said, I have no way of knowing the general consensus of the female population's opinion, but personally.....I lose respect for ANYONE (man or woman) that focuses on power. Instead....what I do admire is someone that's more concerned with the common goal and affirming those around them.....esteeming everyone as valuable.

 

[dallasapple]

Having a child with a man that you know that he is "required by law" to then help support until the child reaches 18 does not cause any woman I know to "lose respect" for him ..or else no woman would ever have any respect for any father of her child..its ludicrous to suggest that .

I had a child when I was 14 and he was 16(my now husband)..I 'lost respect" for him and his family..that he ran and hid and said 'its not mine' to his parents..they KNEW at the very least thier was a "possiblility"(he admitted to having sex with me)..their was NO contact..(thier choice) for almost 2 years after the child was born as we had the "power' to SUE his rear end and the results were HELLO daddy..to which he was then ORDERED to pay child support..I LOST respect for his cowardness and thought "what kind of people are they" as to his parents..knowing FULL good and well that is was "likely' they had a grandchild they were running from responsibility of..and I suppose were too cold hearted to even CARE he existed.

So NO..I didnt "lose respect" becasue I had the "power" to make him be responsible..I lost respect becasue I had to USE that power for him to do the right thing by his son.

Of course that was 29 years ago now..I have regained "respect" for him since then that I took into consideration he was frightened..he was so young..but at the time?I pretty much thought he was and his parents were low lifes.

Dallas

 

[Niffer]

Was it his authority?

Sorry, I don't understand what you're asking...

 

[Tannic]

Sorry, I don't understand what you're asking...

I'll PM you aoub it.

 

[dallasapple]

Another way to "lose respect" is along the lines of what C1ners is talking about..a man (OR a woman) that has low ambition as to supporting thier family is one way to lose respect..I had a LOT of money...a LOT..that in no way made me "lose respect" for my husband..what I didnt 'respect" was his JEOLOUSY of me..and his lack of desire to work and his resentment over me that he 'had to"..One time ..when I was helping him start the business that now supports us and has for since 1999..He said I was "pimping him out"..and that all I did was "sit around and count the money"..THAT I lost respect for..his resentment of me and his treatement of me..I could have left him with more than a 1/4 of million dollars that he coudlnt touch ..I had in an IRA ...I owned half this house ...I didnt..

Someone needs to have SELF RESPECT man or woman..in order for other peopel to have respect for them..otherwise you just either feel sorry for them..(how can you look up to someone that has little ambition and is jealous of you ?) or you just flat out dont respect them or both.

I dont "respect" in my personal life my husband wrapping his entire identity around me either...So in that sense?Yes..allowing someone to rule over you in every way..determining your good AND bad behavior isnt something to resepect..its SHIRKING personal responsibility..which is when I lose respect.

And since I read a LOT...I have also come across information that MEN do not tend to resepct dorrmatty clingy needy women either..Its UNATTRACTIVE..

Desperation is a VERY unnatractive personality trait to possess..Especially if you will lower your values as a means to an end..

Dallas

 

[pgp_protector]

Let me go ask my wife.

 

[lisah]

So when a woman gets married and has a kid she knows legally she owns the man (financially speaking) so she loses interest in him.

Actually, I think it might be the reverse, that a woman might begin to feel trapped with a husband and children, and might feel he now holds ALL the power. Maybe, sometimes?

(Also: "Familiarity breeds contempt?")


I think that too many people get married without enough common interests and without individual interests as well. I think that common interests help bond, and individual interests keep a person from becoming bored.

Also, expectations play a part in it too. Expectations can be too grand, and when not met, disappointment follows. (etc, etc, etc)


There are too many possibilities to be able to choose only one thing.

 

[Athene]

I can't speak for any woman other then myself, but from me - the answer is a most definite no.

JRSut1000, please do not presume to speak for me or any other woman on the planet. Thanks in advance.

 

[McScribe]

I can't speak for any woman other then myself, but from me - the answer is a most definite no.

JRSut1000, please do not presume to speak for me or any other woman on the planet. Thanks in advance.

She, and every advertiser, historian, storyteller, doctor, teacher, psychologist, demographer, linguist, anthropologist, and person on the planet has the right to present an opinion and defend it. Women are not magical creatures whose thoughts are as mysterious as those of the Sphinx.

 

[hijklmnop]

For me, no, not at all. I don't gain or lose respect for people based on how much "power" they have over others but on their character. In fact I lose respect for people who make it a point to try and gain or wield power over others....and that is much different from being a strong and assertive person who stands up for oneself, which is attractive to me in men and women.

 

[Athene]

She, and every advertiser, historian, storyteller, doctor, teacher, psychologist, demographer, linguist, anthropologist, and person on the planet has the right to present an opinion and defend it. Women are not magical creatures whose thoughts are as mysterious as those of the Sphinx.

Are you ok with negative statements being made about men in general, with no attempt made to even make it seem that the author of said statement is talking about a few men in particular. Yes/No

If yes - as you were.

If no - you know what to do.

 

[McScribe]

If I were asked a general question, as part of an open forum enquiry, then no, I wouldn't have a problem at all with it.

 

[Conservativation]

If I were asked a general question, as part of an open forum enquiry, then no, I wouldn't have a problem at all with it.

Me too, I enjoy reading the way men answer about men, and mostly they are in accord with what I would say anyway.

Im glad we have that mutual basis of understanding in the main

 

[Athene]

And if it wasn't in accord with what you would say, you would leave it unchallenged? That wouldn't be the cons I'm acquainted with.

 

[Conservativation]

You know...it depends on the issue doesn't it, and I lack some terminology for this but the comparison being made is unfair.

if someone says men are jerks....duh, yes I take umbrage. If someone is describing some innate characteristic, how a man may feel about something....and its correct, then its correct. I do not reflexively deny commonality, as the women here seem to do instantly regardless of issue.

If a man was doing the male self effacement routine, "we men need to step up and all things will be better".....yes, i object.....ah now I figured out the difference.....i do not object on the basis that you do, I do not object on the basis that a man cant speak for men, or that we are all so unique that to even deign state "men do x" sends me apoplectic. I object if I think the comment is WRONG.....not for me.....I absolutely do not object on the basis of self, and would challenge that be proven otherwise, I object if I think the man stated an invalid generality about men, and my thought process would be is it true of men, not is it true of me.

it seems men don't like to infer the "all men" thing as often as women do here. Though one of my esteemed friends who posts often makes that remark and it makes me cringe because I find it cringe worthy no matter who says it.

I dislike NAWALT and I suppose NAMALT

 

[CarrieAnnC]

This seem to mean to me that if a man is saying positive about men, you agree, and if negative then you disagree. Why would woman feel any different about representation? I don't belief that any woman speak for me especially as this was only woman who say yes, and every other woman who answer say no.

 

[Psalm63]

http://www.christianforums.com/t7607377-post59000111/#post59000111

Do women lose respect for men they have power over?

In a job, absolutely not.

In a marriage, I would say its about the opposite. She will lose respect when she has no power/influence, when her husband has a kind of "male superiority" attitude and theology and persistently refuses correction. She will gain respect when her husband is humble, gentle, and kind.

If I'm open to my wife's correction, do I give up being the leader? by Gary Smalley

 

[Autumnleaf]

In a job, absolutely not.

In a marriage, I would say its about the opposite. She will lose respect when she has no power/influence, when her husband has a kind of "male superiority" attitude and theology and persistently refuses correction. She will gain respect when her husband is humble, gentle, and kind.

If I'm open to my wife's correction, do I give up being the leader? by Gary Smalley

I like when people are honest enough about their perspective to quote prominent religious leaders instead of the Bible.