Do looks matter?

[CFOCdude]

I'm sure any partner in life God made for us we would have to be attracted to. But I believe you can be attracted to someone for many different reasons including their soul, looks, intelligence, humor, etc.

 

[desi]

This isn't for Mardi Gras beads is it? I've fallen for that trick before.:o LOL j/k of course.

And thanks, Cute...you raise a very excellent point. I dated a guy once who was 6'4" and weighed around 150lbs. He could have blown away in a stiff breeze. So here I am in all my full-figure glory and he thought I had the most amazing body he'd ever seen. It's all in the eye of the beholder. What I saw in the mirror as nasty flabby fat he saw as feminine curves. Not to mention, my Creator didn't make any mistakes when he made me.

I was curious. A woman who knows her art and has a positive attitude too is a fine package! Looks are the icing on the cake.

 

[mina]

This topic always makes me feel weird. I don't think I look good or pretty or beautiful at all. I don't have a pretty face even if my body is in shape. I know i'm made in the immage of God and I try to be neat and clean and presentable, but I reach a point where I look in the mirror and say "well this is as good as it's going to get". And it depresses me. For 23 years no one ever noticed me and if they did it was to make fun of me. I'm very insecure about my looks and i just feel weird about it. Because I feel no one would want me for my looks. Anyways I think i'm just babbling here so i'll stop, and I don't' even know what point i'm trying to make.

 

[Xen_Antares]

This topic always makes me feel weird. I don't think I look good or pretty or beautiful at all. I don't have a pretty face even if my body is in shape. I know i'm made in the immage of God and I try to be neat and clean and presentable, but I reach a point where I look in the mirror and say "well this is as good as it's going to get". And it depresses me. For 23 years no one ever noticed me and if they did it was to make fun of me. I'm very insecure about my looks and i just feel weird about it. Because I feel no one would want me for my looks. Anyways I think i'm just babbling here so i'll stop, and I don't' even know what point i'm trying to make.

Yeah that seems all to familiar, I often feel invisible too, unless people are looking for someone to make fun of or beat up, then I cant ever seem to get away. Whats worse is liking someone and having a "crush" for a lack of better words only to walk into a room and find that person talking about your looks behind your back, especially after pretending to be your friend. She never apologized either

I know Im not one of the beautiful people, I wear glasses, have very thin hair, Im balding, skinny as a bean pole and have big, red lips. Why on Earth would anyone want me for my appearence?

 

[mbotz72]

I think that looks definitely matter, especially during the first meeting, but he/she can become even cuter or less cute once you get to know them. Way too many times I judge on the basis of looks; I'm working on it though! (I disregard them because they are not good looking or because of the way they dress, such as if they are wearing all AE or Abercromie)

 

[Sunbeam]

Looks are strongly influenced by personality. A person that seems to be a supermodel on first sight may become ugly to you once you get to know that person. A person that seems 'plain Jane' may turn out to be the most beautiful girl to you on the planet.

Enslow

I'm the same way with looking at men. I've seen many highly attractive men that have arrogant personalities and I wouldn't go out with them for anything. I've seen average looking men who have thoughtful, sincere, respectful, intelligent, and strong sober personalities that are far far better.

I've always thought though that that is the way it is for women to look at men, but men look at women differently mainly by looks.

 

[remy]

If she's attractive to you and has a heart of gold, what's to hold you back?

 

[Kirisutokyoo-shinja]

So basically, what the bulk of the world thinks is. I have to be physically attracted to the person before I am willing to get to know them?
("I" meaning, someone)
Or give me some hope in humanity.

 

[tinkerbell]

Think of someone you know and the first time you met them you did not think they were attractive. Once you got to know them better and began to enjoy their personality, they looked better and better. Or, think of someone you thought was attractive and as you got to know thier sour attitude more and more, they began to lose their attractiveness. I know it's happened to me. I think it is importatn for a future spouce to be attractive, but I think someone can grow to be attractive over time as well - so tecnically, I guess personality is really all that matters.

 

[Kirisutokyoo-shinja]

I am aware of this, although many times this is not allowed to happen. Simply because one is "overlooked."

 

[stray bullet]

Two words:

Blind singles.

 

[stray bullet]

This topic always makes me feel weird. I don't think I look good or pretty or beautiful at all. I don't have a pretty face even if my body is in shape. I know i'm made in the immage of God and I try to be neat and clean and presentable, but I reach a point where I look in the mirror and say "well this is as good as it's going to get". And it depresses me. For 23 years no one ever noticed me and if they did it was to make fun of me. I'm very insecure about my looks and i just feel weird about it. Because I feel no one would want me for my looks. Anyways I think i'm just babbling here so i'll stop, and I don't' even know what point i'm trying to make.

You know, just because you don't turn heads doesn't mean you are unattractive. Evaluating the whole looks situation, being very attractive is not really that great. So, unless you're desiring dirty comments, being pinched or grabbed by strangers and attracting boys only interested in your looks, there's really no reason to be unhappy just being pretty. It won't get every boy to turn their head when you enter a room, but that's not what is really important in life.

 

[mina]

You know, just because you don't turn heads doesn't mean you are unattractive. Evaluating the whole looks situation, being very attractive is not really that great. So, unless you're desiring dirty comments, being pinched or grabbed by strangers and attracting boys only interested in your looks, there's really no reason to be unhappy just being pretty. It won't get every boy to turn their head when you enter a room, but that's not what is really important in life.

Actually I have been grabbed and groped but it was to make fun of me. And i'm not even just pretty. I know it's not the most important thing in life, but it still hurts pretty badly.

 

[KeilCoppes]

"The eyes are the windows of the soul". - old Korean quote from TKD intructor

a few musings:

1) You can't read someone's personality out through their photo, just as you can't read who they are by large / slim / etc., but who we are carves itself on our faces - in smile lines, in frown lines, in how we hold our face, in our body language. I'm not a mind-reader, but I have seen a lot of versions of physically attractive (and physically unattractive) people where their expressions, carriage, or body language warned that caution was required, and that it would be wise to avoid them. - Have you?

2) Isn't it fair to allow people to look for others similar to themselves, who can empathise with them better, who would make better life partners for practical reasons? For example, I am fit, and moderately well built, though with a natural tendency to be on the slender side that keeps me in the gym. I would be uncomfortable with a very large woman (as I am built on a different scale), and I would probably recommend a larger and stronger man than I am for her to be able to take better care of her. Similarly, though I have dated and enjoyed the company of taller women (not taller than I... until the high-heels came out), on general principles I would recommend someone taller than my 5'10" for a woman who was 5'8" or taller. Not that great relationships can't happen where this isn't the case, but I think it's a good rule of thumb. Any thoughts?

-----
God's word above mine or anyone else's!

 

[KeilCoppes]

ps - those of grab and grope actions (even in jesting) need to be... well, let's just say that there should be significant consequences for their actions. At the least the men around need to straighten him out.

A man with that mentality is not a true man.


"Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy -- meditate on these things".
- Phip 4:8

 

[Misnomer]

I think that looks are important for most people. Which is unfortunate for me b/c that just assures a single life for me (but I digress). What I find attractive varies greatly from person to person.......... but the physical is not the most important thing to me. Personality and non tangible attributes can change my opinion in a heartbeat.

 

[chris320]

Looks are something that can be deceiving, when you find one of the girls that are "Good looking and they know it", then as a guy you better watch it...I think you are better off just to find a decent looking gal, that will treat you like you are somebody.

I agree with the above, and also want to add this, too: If you are desiring someone who has good looks, you had better make some effort to be good looking yourself. So, you may need to replace the glasses with contacts, loose weight, work out, etc. And, they will probably expect you to continue to maintain that visual appearance, even after being married for a number of years.

Gentlemen, the really exceptionally beautiful women (external appearance) usually have been active in the sexual arena for years, due to the fact that they are constantly swarmed with attention, like a piece of meat in a shark frenzie. It is rare to find these type of women serving God, since they get SO MUCH attention from the opposite sex and can have SO MUCH money and success by simply compromising their values.

So, if you demand perfection in beauty, unless they are from another planet, the exceptionally good looking he or she you are desiring will most likely have a colorful sexual history. And, they will probably continue on with a colorful future, inspite of whatever religion they claim to possess.

-Chris320

 

[chris320]

Once you got to know them better and began to enjoy their personality, they looked better and better.

I think this is what happened with my exwife. The guy she cheated on me with, that destroyed our marriage, is quite a bit uglier than I am, and had a big beer belly. She said she did like his big biceps, though.

-Chris320

 

[vibrant]

Gentlemen, the really exceptionally beautiful women (external appearance) usually have been active in the sexual arena for years, due to the fact that they are constantly swarmed with attention, like a piece of meat in a shark frenzie. It is rare to find these type of women serving God, since they get SO MUCH attention from the opposite sex and can have SO MUCH money and success by simply compromising their values.

So, if you demand perfection in beauty, unless they are from another planet, the exceptionally good looking he or she you are desiring will most likely have a colorful sexual history. And, they will probably continue on with a colorful future, inspite of whatever religion they claim to possess.

-Chris320

all my comments to this would really be as rude and judgemental as the post.

 

[msjones21]

I agree with the above, and also want to add this, too: If you are desiring someone who has good looks, you had better make some effort to be good looking yourself. So, you may need to replace the glasses with contacts, loose weight, work out, etc. And, they will probably expect you to continue to maintain that visual appearance, even after being married for a number of years.

Gentlemen, the really exceptionally beautiful women (external appearance) usually have been active in the sexual arena for years, due to the fact that they are constantly swarmed with attention, like a piece of meat in a shark frenzie. It is rare to find these type of women serving God, since they get SO MUCH attention from the opposite sex and can have SO MUCH money and success by simply compromising their values.

So, if you demand perfection in beauty, unless they are from another planet, the exceptionally good looking he or she you are desiring will most likely have a colorful sexual history. And, they will probably continue on with a colorful future, inspite of whatever religion they claim to possess.

Holy sweeping generalizations, Batman!

A) I have a colorful sexual past and I am not even remotely close to being "exceptionally beautiful". Please don't tell people they shouldn't be with women who are physically attractive because they may have been promiscuous. First of all, who cares? If they have repented God holds their past. Who are you to place yourself above God? If God, who loves this girl more than the man ever would, can forgive this girl then how dare someone place themselves above God and not be with someone because of their past?

B) Most of the time it's the extremely beautiful girls who get passed up for dates because guys are chickens about rejection and assume if the girl is gorgeous she already has a boyfriend. Exceptional beauty can be more of a curse than anything in the mind of the person.

C) Just because a woman is beautiful doesn't mean you will have to alter your appearance. Even if she did mention she would like it if you pressed your dress shirts before church or keep their car a bit tidier then what does that harm? If you have a genuine, Christ-centered relationship you should be able to open up to one another and take into consideration your partner's request. And just because you are married doesn't mean you should become a slob who doesn't care about their appearance.