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Do I tell him?

Oct 17, 2011
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About 6 months ago, I found out I was almost 2 months pregnant. Almost as soon as I found out, I lost the baby. Before I could tell my fiance that I was even pregnant. I ended up getting scared and not knowing what to do, so not wanting to hurt our relationship, I didn't tell him at all. Then 3 months ago my fiance, who I had been with for 3 years, went off to college. I was planning to move to the city of his school and we were going to get married at Christmas time. But he completely blindsided me when he became very immature all of a sudden, broke up with me giving me no reason at all, and went to college with the intent of living like a "player". He's now a party boy, and I wonder where the old him went. I've known him for so long and he was always very smart and mature. Now he treats everyone like he's too good for them, including his family, just because he's in college. Our relationship obviously didn't end on a good note, but we don't hold any animosity.

I haven't really talked to him for the past 3 months, since he broke up with me. But next month would have been my due date. And I feel like I can't move on until someone knows. Telling a friend didn't really help, because they haven't been there. I still really struggle with trying to heal from this. Just because it wasn't a planned pregnancy doesn't mean I didn't love that baby with everything in me. I feel like part of the healing process could be to tell my ex(the father). And even though he may get mad, not believe me, or just not care, I'd be doing it for me, and he can decide to react or not. Maybe it would even snap him back into reality?

I guess I just want some opinions. Should I tell him?
 
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Kristen.NewCreation

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Hi unansweredprayers,

I'm so sorry you've gone through this loss. :hug:

I don't have a particular opinion on whether you should tell him or not, but it sounds like you definitely need to do something to get some support. I guess some questions to think about are what will help you about telling him if he doesn't respond in an appropriate manner? Is there any other way you can get support besides your x-fiance? Have you considered joining a support group for those who have grief and loss issues, though they may have experienced a different type of loss?

You might want to check out some of these resources.
Coping with Grief and Loss: Support for Grieving and Bereavement
http://www.ncjwny.org/pls_resources.pdf
 
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