Hello Everyone,
I met this girl many years ago when I was visiting my family and friends in another country. We were with each other but then had to separate cause I had to go back to my country. We kept in touch by emails, letters and phone. After awhile we lost contact for a few years. Later there was one year we got in touch again and expressed our love to each other said that we wanted to be with each other but somehow did not meet. Few years have passed and we have met. It seemed like all these years were a pause. We knew we were right for each other and that we wanted to be with each for the rest of our lives. We did something about it, moved together to one place and just recently got engaged. I couldn't imagine being with someone else.
All these years since we met I haven't been with anyone (I have before we met), there were girls that wanted to be with me, that I liked, went on few dates but never couldn't go any further I always thought about this girl I met in another country and always had her in my mind. I do regret for not doing anything earlier, for not going there and doing something about it. The thing that bugs me is that she has been with someone else since we got together for good. Her first was somebody else I always thought that I was going to be her first. I know she regrets it and it was a very short period of time with that somebody, but she felt lonely and thought I stopped caring for her and not wanted to be with her which was untrue but thats how we miscommunicated with each other. So she was interested how it would be the first time and wanted to have someone, which I can't blame her or anyone, we all want to be with someone special.
The thing is that it bugs me sometimes that it wasn't me her first that it wasn't how I always imagined, sometimes I even get weird thoughts in my mind about her and the other person that just come out of nowhere and I don't know how to erase them. It was a bad experience for her she told me, sometimes I want to ask more questions about it but she doesn't want to talk about it which is normal sometimes it bugs and from time to time I ask her questions about it which I shouldn't. I have no idea why this affected me the way it did. I know I'm very lucky to have her and we are madly in love and I would't trade anything for her.
I forgave her and don't talk about it with her and ask questions anymore. Right now what is happening to me is getting those thoughts in my mind about her with that somebody else, thoughts about her losing her virginity, or just random scenes with them doing things of I have never seen of her doing or her telling me about it. I try to fight to those thoughts coming in my head, but they come to me almost everyday. I'm trying to get rid off that.
Sometimes those thoughts or images just enter my mind for few seconds, but I start to feel horrible and they start to control me which is bad, because till changes me to be a bad person, a bad partner, and where I regret more and more of not acting faster than getting to her sooner when we had chances.
I am trying to learn what I have if there is a mental illness involved and how to get better. I thank you for reading this and appreciate any info or advice on what I can do or what is this that is happening to me.
I met this girl many years ago when I was visiting my family and friends in another country. We were with each other but then had to separate cause I had to go back to my country. We kept in touch by emails, letters and phone. After awhile we lost contact for a few years. Later there was one year we got in touch again and expressed our love to each other said that we wanted to be with each other but somehow did not meet. Few years have passed and we have met. It seemed like all these years were a pause. We knew we were right for each other and that we wanted to be with each for the rest of our lives. We did something about it, moved together to one place and just recently got engaged. I couldn't imagine being with someone else.
All these years since we met I haven't been with anyone (I have before we met), there were girls that wanted to be with me, that I liked, went on few dates but never couldn't go any further I always thought about this girl I met in another country and always had her in my mind. I do regret for not doing anything earlier, for not going there and doing something about it. The thing that bugs me is that she has been with someone else since we got together for good. Her first was somebody else I always thought that I was going to be her first. I know she regrets it and it was a very short period of time with that somebody, but she felt lonely and thought I stopped caring for her and not wanted to be with her which was untrue but thats how we miscommunicated with each other. So she was interested how it would be the first time and wanted to have someone, which I can't blame her or anyone, we all want to be with someone special.
The thing is that it bugs me sometimes that it wasn't me her first that it wasn't how I always imagined, sometimes I even get weird thoughts in my mind about her and the other person that just come out of nowhere and I don't know how to erase them. It was a bad experience for her she told me, sometimes I want to ask more questions about it but she doesn't want to talk about it which is normal sometimes it bugs and from time to time I ask her questions about it which I shouldn't. I have no idea why this affected me the way it did. I know I'm very lucky to have her and we are madly in love and I would't trade anything for her.
I forgave her and don't talk about it with her and ask questions anymore. Right now what is happening to me is getting those thoughts in my mind about her with that somebody else, thoughts about her losing her virginity, or just random scenes with them doing things of I have never seen of her doing or her telling me about it. I try to fight to those thoughts coming in my head, but they come to me almost everyday. I'm trying to get rid off that.
Sometimes those thoughts or images just enter my mind for few seconds, but I start to feel horrible and they start to control me which is bad, because till changes me to be a bad person, a bad partner, and where I regret more and more of not acting faster than getting to her sooner when we had chances.
I am trying to learn what I have if there is a mental illness involved and how to get better. I thank you for reading this and appreciate any info or advice on what I can do or what is this that is happening to me.
