Do I fight?

[Gryphon]

Background:

Ex-wife and I divorced in April. She remarried in June. We have joint custody but she has possessive custody of our 3 year old daughter. She is going to move 150 miles away and possibly out of the country later at some point (her new husband is in the Army). She professes belief in Christianity and Jesus.

Do I attempt to stop her from moving? I have a case in court Friday morning (8/15) to do so, but I don't know if I should call it off. It is a request for a restraining order.

I know Corinthians talks about lawsuits between believers, but this is my daughter, not property. Were it simply property, I would have no problem. I want to raise my daughter to know Jesus, and I'm afraid that if I do let her go, she won't have that chance, and I will be abandoning my responsibilities. James talks about patience and not grumbling or swearing, but I'm not asking for anything BUT to be able to keep my daughter close to me.

I only want to do what God wants me to. I know I can just have faith and pray for the best for my daughter. But I also know that sometimes action is required (for instance, we don't pray for money, we go to work to do so).

Which do I do? I'm really leaning towards dropping the case because the display of love and faith would be greater than any protection I can give to my daughter. I know that if I ask, God will protect her. I just don't want to be lured into giving up.

I appreciate any responses and prayers!!!

 

[fieldmouse3]

My suggestion would be to pray and find out what God wants you to do. That can be hard, when you're emotionally involved in a situation, but you've gotta find out what He wants.

 

[wvmtnkid]

Gryphon-

I wish I had some good advice to give you. However, since I have never had to deal with your situation, I just don't know what the best thing would be for you to do. I certainly understand you not wanting your daughter to be that far from you. If I had a daughter I don't think I could bear her being that far from me. But holding her mother and step-father near you would also cause an unpleasant situation, I am sure, which in turn would make it hard for your daugher.

The one thing that I can do is pray for your situation, and that I will do. I pray that God will speak to your heart and give you direction on what you should do for the best for your daugher. And that He would give you His peace in this situation.

 

[forjesus]

Thats a tough situation. I will pray for you and your daughter. I pray that somehow you two will be togethor. God Bless

 

[JillLars]

Are there any legal stipulations as far as custody is concerned? Does she legally have the right to move out of the country or a long distance away without consulting you? I would consult a lawyer on this issue. You shouldn't have to lose your daughter, but you don't want to take her away from her mom either. Could you move any time in the near future? That seems like a huge change, but it is nonetheless, a possibility. When my parents divorced, my dad could have moved to D.C. for a job that paid 3 times as much, but he chose to stay close to us. My mom also chose to buy a house that was only a few miles away from the house our family shared. (This was just last april). Pray about it, consult God, but also consult a lawyer, and know your rights. I hope everything works out for the best, I will keep you in my prayers!

 

[GREG]

talk to a lawyer, my friend because a girl needs her DADDY......... i will be prayin

 

[Gryphon]

Well, just to keep folks updated... and to thank you all for your prayers!...

I went to court on Friday. My ex-wife brought her husband, her mom, her aunt and her friend. I went by myself. Only her aunt even said hi to me. The lawyers negotiated and talked and we agreed that they could move to the army base (150 miles away), but only there, and nowhere else. I would still get to see her every weekend (or as close as I could get to it), and we would meet halfway for pick-up and drop-off. Plus I get extra time with her and extra rights that I did not have before.

So it went very well from my perspective. I only wished they would have at least understood that I was only doing this for her sake, and at least said hi. My ex understood that, she had talked to me on the phone the week before and said that she knew I was only doing what I thought was right, so I don't know why there was this unsettling tension.

Anyways, another note is that they are not moving at all! Her husband is going to Iraq in March, so they are going to way until he comes back, up to a year. Good news that they are not moving, but perilous for him, so I would ask that we all now pray to keep him safe, as well as all the troops over there. Also for my ex-wife, for peace, and not to worry. And (one last thing, sorry!) that there not be tension or malice on either of our parts towards the other.

Thank you so much all of you! I had lots of people praying about this and I truly truly appreciate it!!! THANK YOU!! God Bless you all!!

 

[wvmtnkid]

Glad to hear you are happy with the outcome. I hope that you will be able to continue to work with your ex-wife in this situation for the best for your daughter. Matters like this aren't always easy to work out with so many interests at stake.

 

[OldBadfish]

nm, glad everything is ok.

 

[Mr.Cheese]

*whew*
That was a good move.
My foreman had too big of a heart and decided he didn't need to do any such thing. Now his two kids live in Boston and he's in Texas.
That really tore him up. he loves his kids.
It's a freaking shame that people do that to eachother.

 

[ZiSunka]

Yes, fight the move, because she needs you, and she needs to you be an active part of her life, not a long-distance daddy.

She needs to know that you love her enough to not let her get away from you, to not turn over daddy-hood to another man, a stranger unrelated to her. She needs you to tell her by your actions that you love her enough to fight losing her.

 

[desi]

You are quite a man to pray for the fellow your former wife is with.

 

[RapcityZ]

well if i got you right dunno though, I Loved this girl in our school alot for 3 years and every one of my friend said move on and after 3 years i found out god did this for abetter like cuz she was a acholic, and soon proberly maybe even now a smoker and i want my girl to be clean