Do all Ministers Fall?

[JoySnow4]

I was a PW for a year after Bible college. Thought we wanted to be in full-time ministry but we changed our minds after a bad experience with a church.

I am wondering if my experiences are unique or if most ministers fall into some sort of gross sin eventually. It's been really strange. As a new Christian I attended a church with a sizable congregation. I learned a lot about the word and grew there through fellowship. But, later found out the music minister was gay and left his wife. The youth pastor left his wife because he said he'd fallen in love with a member of the youth group. And the senior pastor was mismanaging funds. They replaced this crew with a new senior pastor who was later arrested for soliciting an undercover police officer for sex in a men's room during a sting operation.

At my next church a respected elder left his wife for another woman and said he decided marriage was never God's will.

Another pastor was caught using the church phone to call 900 numbers for sex and then caught with gross porn in his office.

And the pastor of our most recent church was caught with another man in a men's room while on a missions trip out of the country.

I'm wondering is there something unique about my experiences? Is God trying to teach me something? Or are these more common occurrences than one would imagine?

I'm gun-shy now. I want to keep church at an arms length, go to a megachurch where I don't have to get to know anyone and keep my distance. I feel like I'm jaded, like I've seen too much and known too much. I miss those innocent days of my early walk with God. I try to tell myself that people are only human and we all fall. I can certainly understand that. And there is so much temptation out there right now, esp. with the internet garbage. But, sometimes there's this voice deep down that questions, does it (faith) really work for anyone? I guess I'm having a bit of a crisis of faith right now. Sorry, I'm just being honest. It's been harder since my mom died two years ago. She was always my rock and nothing could shake her faith. Sometimes I just pray for God to hold onto me and not let me go because my faith just isn't that strong right now. I know His Word promises this and I guess I'm counting on it.

 

[Maeyken]

Wow, sorry to hear about all your rotten church experiences! That sounds like way too many weird things going on for one person to experience. I have only encountered one person in leadership who was gay, but when the church found out she was removed from her position because she was living with her partner and refused to end the relationship.

Don't give up on church! Not all churches are like that- it seems you've just hit an unfortunate string of them. The fellowship and sense of community that come from being part of a faith community cannot be replicated elsewhere.

Thanks for your honesty- none of us are perfect, and everyone has struggles. The more we share them, it seems the better we can deal with them.

 

[Gentle-Heart]

Hi There - Firstly let me reassure you that there is nothing wrong with your faith.
Not all Ministers fall but all of us, Minister or not are capable of falling.
I feel that the reason why Ministers/Leaders fall is because it was an area that were not dealt with before they had leadership responsibilty. And the enemy always seeks to attack our weak points and he knows the timing to do it when we are at our most vulnerable.
The enemy will wait his time before sending his attacks when he notices someone is getting ready to enter leadership and then during leadership holds off until as many as possible can be influenced badly by the attack -
so that the aim being if he can topple the leader he can topple the church congregation. The aim of the enemy is to cause as much damage as possible.
That is why it seems to happen so much to Ministers, not because there is anything wrong with them. The issues had always been there but the enemy waited, maybe years before launching his attack. The enemy likes to hide and not be discovered and any unhealed area is where he can get a foothold.
This calls for wisdom and when anyone is training and preparing for leadership , not to be placed in that position too soon. We may think they are ready when they have completed the time at College and have spiritual maturity but there could be unhealed areas in the soul that are missed, as you can be deceived into thinking they do not have problems in that area because you see them walking in the Spirit and their life honouring the Lord. And the amount of wisdom increasing due to what they have been taught.
And so we are deceived. The enemy always attacks leadership with heavier artillary for want of a better word. And I feel that sometimes they fall due to a lack of prayer support and too many demands being made on their time, that they have little quality time on their own with God to be strenghtened and restored. So that they are strong enough to resist enemy attack.
If I said yes to every request for counsel and prayer at the moment it was asked , I would not have time with my husband. I have to find time with my husband, to clean my house and to have time with the Lord. It would not surprise me that the Ministers who fell were vulnerable, tired, over worked and no respect was given for them to have a day off.
So much is expected - on call 24/7 - congregations need to appreciate the demands and help Ministers to have quality time with the Lord and with their Spouse, so that neither relationship is neglected. Falling into sin does not just happen to a mature beleiver - it is a calculated attack by the enemy over time, and critisism, lack of appreciation, being taken for granted, tiredness all make the Lords servant vulnerable.
Just my thoughts. I am not saying this was the case in those you mentioned but explains a little why these things can happen.
I'll pray that you are freed from your anxieties of it happening again and instead of being anxious a leader may fall, that you find you can be instrumental in making sure that they are cared for and ministered to, just like they care for and minister to others. So they stay strong and are valued and their life is balanced between the different roles/tasks they do.
Much peace to you. Hope what I shared has helped you.

 

[james93078]

People tend to forget that pastors, ministers, bishops, etc... are humans too. They have struggles and temptations just like any regular person.

 

[wmc1982]

Not all ministers fall, but they usually go under a lot more attack. To be in ministry, you need a lot of discipleship and accountability. There are also a lot of wolves in sheep's clothing.

 

[Ms.Garnet]

There are still many many Godly men and women serving God who have not publicly fallen, but again as already stated, we all fail & come short of the glory of God...but praise the Lord He is a forgiving God & restores our fellowship when we truely repent....which is not to say "go sin just because you know He will forgive".
I hope you find a church with good fellowsip and Godly leaders...

 

[bluemarkus]

satan likes to sift leadership persons, so he can get the flock too.
often its our prosperity that ensnares us. but its so hard to give up.
its hard being a man of god sometimes. you gotta pray and try to get out of the way of temptations. it´s possible.

 

[DIVA_for_Christ]

Hi There - Firstly let me reassure you that there is nothing wrong with your faith.
Not all Ministers fall but all of us, Minister or not are capable of falling.
I feel that the reason why Ministers/Leaders fall is because it was an area that were not dealt with before they had leadership responsibilty. And the enemy always seeks to attack our weak points and he knows the timing to do it when we are at our most vulnerable.
The enemy will wait his time before sending his attacks when he notices someone is getting ready to enter leadership and then during leadership holds off until as many as possible can be influenced badly by the attack -
so that the aim being if he can topple the leader he can topple the church congregation. The aim of the enemy is to cause as much damage as possible.
That is why it seems to happen so much to Ministers, not because there is anything wrong with them. The issues had always been there but the enemy waited, maybe years before launching his attack. The enemy likes to hide and not be discovered and any unhealed area is where he can get a foothold.
This calls for wisdom and when anyone is training and preparing for leadership , not to be placed in that position too soon. We may think they are ready when they have completed the time at College and have spiritual maturity but there could be unhealed areas in the soul that are missed, as you can be deceived into thinking they do not have problems in that area because you see them walking in the Spirit and their life honouring the Lord. And the amount of wisdom increasing due to what they have been taught.
And so we are deceived. The enemy always attacks leadership with heavier artillary for want of a better word. And I feel that sometimes they fall due to a lack of prayer support and too many demands being made on their time, that they have little quality time on their own with God to be strenghtened and restored. So that they are strong enough to resist enemy attack.
If I said yes to every request for counsel and prayer at the moment it was asked , I would not have time with my husband. I have to find time with my husband, to clean my house and to have time with the Lord. It would not surprise me that the Ministers who fell were vulnerable, tired, over worked and no respect was given for them to have a day off.
So much is expected - on call 24/7 - congregations need to appreciate the demands and help Ministers to have quality time with the Lord and with their Spouse, so that neither relationship is neglected. Falling into sin does not just happen to a mature beleiver - it is a calculated attack by the enemy over time, and critisism, lack of appreciation, being taken for granted, tiredness all make the Lords servant vulnerable.
Just my thoughts. I am not saying this was the case in those you mentioned but explains a little why these things can happen.
I'll pray that you are freed from your anxieties of it happening again and instead of being anxious a leader may fall, that you find you can be instrumental in making sure that they are cared for and ministered to, just like they care for and minister to others. So they stay strong and are valued and their life is balanced between the different roles/tasks they do.
Much peace to you. Hope what I shared has helped you.

Thank you for sharing this wisdom you typed what I was thinking.

 

[Loved4LifeAnyway]

Hello ,

You have certainly been through some of the hard stuff. After being a minister's wife for about 15 years, I would say that I have heard everything imaginable with the exception of someone admitting murder.

Not all churches encourage accountability in their pastor's. As a minister's wife I know that I have to ask God for judgement on how to protect my family and marriage. Other's do not always agree with me at church and that is OKAY. My husband may have to get another job (this has happened the one time we needed to leave with a church set up with the traps you are talking of) My husband and I have rules for our marriage. We don't have people of opposite gender into our home of office alone if they are not senior citizens. Of course, death or emergencies we will discuss together and do come up, but we have our own "rules" based on the belief of how God wishes us to CONDUCT our lives to keep ourselves safe. My husband also talks to a small group of men. God has blessed us with safety in this, but there is always pressure and criticism from others. Most ministers leave within 7 years.

I am grateful that after 15 years, God is still able to use us, by his grace. The stories you shared and the several we have unfortunately encountered in ministry are very real and very painful and yes, very prevalent. There are also certain churches that aren't as watchful, or as respectful of boundaries within marriage etc. As a Christian, a Christian Wife, a Christian Mother I try to remind myself to look to the pearl of great price (Christ) What is his will......when I keep looking toward him I am able to look past and even work on forgiving those around me. Those who grossly sin in ministry and those who sin against me as a minister's wife. By God's Grace he is Carrying me through. Always asking for His Guidance has been what has kept me here. He led me from churches filled with pain to churches filled with much healing with a whole lot of support and growth from those painful times, I have witnessed God carrying me through.

With Christ's Love,
Loved4LifeAnyway

 

[Loved4LifeAnyway]

Hello It's me again.
I read the last paragraph of your email and was wondering if I could share more openly.

There was an experience not too long ago as a pastor's wife where I encountered so much pain. I felt for the first time in my life that I didn't even know who to trust anymore. I had 3 toddlers at home, didn't know a single person where we were sent, had VERY LITTLE extra money so babysitting was mostly out. The church met at my house atleast once a week. My husband was busy A lot and I felt like I was sinking. I believed God would keep me afloat, but things kept getting worse. I tended to stay up until 3am trying to get my house ready for the "church". I was so worried with pleasing others I didn't focus well on my children. I just tried to get through each day. I thank God I learned about having a Prayer Retreat Each month, several hours where my husband would watch the kids and I would go somewhere (retreat center, quiet area) and sing, read the bible and journal to God, sometimes I would also walk and talk with God. I asked God for wisdom, little knowing that it usually comes with a lot of pain. I was used to being loved and encouraged and in this setting I was being criticized and attacked. Unfortunately I took it in. We stayed through a year of this. I am telling you little yet I will say my retired pastor counselor has repeatedly told me this was my time on the cross. By the end I was just grateful to keep my faith, my marriage and family. I am not the same person I was. The most intense pain of life so far. The great thing was that I sought help. God gave me gifts of love, he shared others wisdom with me. I had also asked God for deeper inner peace. Gave me peace I'd never had before because, suddenly everyday life was a lot less than what I'd been through. I learned to keep looking on Jesus' life for my example. I learned how to keep some blinders up to others. I learned how there are times to leave a situation and not allow those in authority to be burglar's in your life, but to let God guide you. I learned that I have difficulty forgiving, I am still only saying " I want to forgive you for"..... which is much closer than I was a few years ago. God has been caddling me. He carried me through. I was wondering if I was going to drown, but he caught me, loved me and can use me even more as now I realize it is Him and I am just a vessel, a very weak vessel, only capable to share with His Love. Salvation is not mine to give it is His. I am grateful he is still allowing me to assist him. He still makes me smile. I still trust him. I understand better that my brothers and sisters are Not Him. I am Not Him. I am wanting to grow towards him though and by his grace He has sent others to me to Minister to me and has sent those that are also wanting to Grow closer to him. He did some Amazing miracles along the way to let me see he was there. He led our paths in ways there was No Questioning. Switching one job to Just the Right one and there was only HIM that could have done it, our housing situation, the ways he sent ministering spirits to us. It was unbelievable how God took us in his arms as we cried out. Thankfully we are still in his arms and know to stay put. I pray he will also grow you and let you crawl into his arms at this time. I pray you will see his miracles in your life and that you will KNOW and SEE when they are from him. I pray he will lead you to wisdom JUST FOR YOU in His Word. My prayers are for you.

Lovingly,
Loved4LifeAnyway