I dont know what that means. He is either happy or he isent, if he isent then you have reason to be concerned.
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DNA testing a toothbrush
- Thread starter savitri
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I dont know what that means. He is either happy or he isent, if he isent then you have reason to be concerned.
H
Hosannainthehighest
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i know sex is the be all and end all for you, but that doesnt make it right to go get it elsewhere...
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Easyk
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how little you know men. this is not true.. just deny hime once, twice or more..
judge and find him guilty and punish him by with holding.
use it as a manipulation tool and belittle him in the bedroom, do as little as possibel in the bedroom and make him do all the work. make him feel guilty and worthless for wanting or desiring to be with you more tha once a fortnight/week. be totally uninventive and unwilling to many things, have a totally closed mind and ensure that he serves your every need. after all hes only interested in the end, might as well stretch it out.
blame him for not doing this or that and deny him
change him to what you want him to be, and dont care about what God wants a man to be.
all sure fire ways for him to go elsewhere or get a divorce..
i will now also point out that it is usaually a combination of the above, men are totally guilty of neglecting there wife as well in many areas, such as making them feel safe, loved and secure. we must forfill their needs and desires, but its imperative mens are too.
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H
Hosannainthehighest
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or how well...it is explained clearly in scripture.
sex is for marriage. anything other than that is for selfish reasons only.
my description remains the same, an excuse for cheating can be sugarcoated all you like, cheating is cheating, when you've vowed before God to forsake all others, that says it all.
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Conservativation
Well-Known Member
You confuse reason and excuse. There is NO excuse, there are reasons. Reasons should be kept at bay by both spouses. One reason is sexual refusal that is chronic.
EasyK made on good points, to me the MOST important one is the feeling of humilation a man feels when he has to ask, and ask, and get told later, then later nothing happens and he gets told, "but you didnt ask"....until I can tell you it feels like a kid who is adult age going to mom and dad for money...its that humiliating.
EasyK made on good points, to me the MOST important one is the feeling of humilation a man feels when he has to ask, and ask, and get told later, then later nothing happens and he gets told, "but you didnt ask"....until I can tell you it feels like a kid who is adult age going to mom and dad for money...its that humiliating.
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If you trust him, throw out the toothbrush and give it not another thought. If you want another reason to distrust him, and accuse him of infidelity, then get your proof and move on. .. which will kill what remains of your marriage.
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Reason -
n.
v
1. a. To explain (a fault or an offense) in the hope of being forgiven or understood: He arrived late and excused his tardiness in a flimsy manner.
b. To apologize for (oneself) for an act that could cause offense: She excused herself for being late.
2. a. To grant pardon to; forgive: We quickly excused the latecomer.
b. To make allowance for; overlook: Readers must excuse the author's youth and inexperience. See Synonyms at forgive.
3. To serve as justification for: Brilliance does not excuse bad manners.
4. To free, as from an obligation or duty; exempt: In my state, physicians and lawyers are excused from jury duty.
5. To give permission to leave; release: The child ate quickly and asked to be excused.
n. (
k-sky
s
) 1. An explanation offered to justify or obtain forgiveness.
2. A reason or grounds for excusing: Ignorance is no excuse for breaking the law.
3. The act of excusing.
4. A note explaining an absence.
5. Informal An inferior example: a poor excuse for a poet; a sorry excuse for a car.
To me from definitions reasoning is why the event occured and excuse is your validation of that reasoning. Just because you dont validate the reason does not mean that the reason is not there. Reasoning is logic, excuse is opinion and feelings. You can say that gravity is no excuse for the apple to fall from the tree that could be your opinion but in reality gravity IS the reason it fell. His reason may in fact be shakey, but the problem with this particular topic is there are valid reasons cheating occurs and just becasue you dont allow the reason to become an excuse does not mean the reason are not valid in someone elses eyes who may also be a christian but one that has a more objective thought process. Ones credibility has to be brought into question when you make absolute statements about particular events reasons having no excuse, it shows a complete lack of objective reasoning (lol no pun intended) and even a sluffing of personal responsiblity/acountablity for the cause and effect you have created.
Its like if you keep slapping a dog in the face over and over again and it finally bites you and you yell out in your entitled western pouty voice "there was no excuse for that", everyone should laugh at you and strip away your credibility, once you have proven you are an idiot your opinion should not even be allowed to be voiced in the community. I think to many people read a few scriptures or maybe even read the entire bible but their IQ is severly lacking, I dont want that person dictating to me about my morals and reasoning just like im not going to give a contract to a guy who read a book on engineering one time so now he is supposedly qualified.
So I guess in closing your right there is no excuse because you are the one that has to validate the reason being an excuse. But the reason is what generates events not excuse.
n.
- The basis or motive for an action, decision, or conviction.
- A declaration made to explain or justify action, decision, or conviction: inquired about her reason for leaving.
- An underlying fact or cause that provides logical sense for a premise or occurrence: There is reason to believe that the accused did not commit this crime.
- The capacity for logical, rational, and analytic thought; intelligence.
- Good judgment; sound sense.
- A normal mental state; sanity: He has lost his reason.
- Logic. A premise, usually the minor premise, of an argument.
v
1. a. To explain (a fault or an offense) in the hope of being forgiven or understood: He arrived late and excused his tardiness in a flimsy manner.
b. To apologize for (oneself) for an act that could cause offense: She excused herself for being late.
2. a. To grant pardon to; forgive: We quickly excused the latecomer.
b. To make allowance for; overlook: Readers must excuse the author's youth and inexperience. See Synonyms at forgive.
3. To serve as justification for: Brilliance does not excuse bad manners.
4. To free, as from an obligation or duty; exempt: In my state, physicians and lawyers are excused from jury duty.
5. To give permission to leave; release: The child ate quickly and asked to be excused.
n. (
2. A reason or grounds for excusing: Ignorance is no excuse for breaking the law.
3. The act of excusing.
4. A note explaining an absence.
5. Informal An inferior example: a poor excuse for a poet; a sorry excuse for a car.
To me from definitions reasoning is why the event occured and excuse is your validation of that reasoning. Just because you dont validate the reason does not mean that the reason is not there. Reasoning is logic, excuse is opinion and feelings. You can say that gravity is no excuse for the apple to fall from the tree that could be your opinion but in reality gravity IS the reason it fell. His reason may in fact be shakey, but the problem with this particular topic is there are valid reasons cheating occurs and just becasue you dont allow the reason to become an excuse does not mean the reason are not valid in someone elses eyes who may also be a christian but one that has a more objective thought process. Ones credibility has to be brought into question when you make absolute statements about particular events reasons having no excuse, it shows a complete lack of objective reasoning (lol no pun intended) and even a sluffing of personal responsiblity/acountablity for the cause and effect you have created.
Its like if you keep slapping a dog in the face over and over again and it finally bites you and you yell out in your entitled western pouty voice "there was no excuse for that", everyone should laugh at you and strip away your credibility, once you have proven you are an idiot your opinion should not even be allowed to be voiced in the community. I think to many people read a few scriptures or maybe even read the entire bible but their IQ is severly lacking, I dont want that person dictating to me about my morals and reasoning just like im not going to give a contract to a guy who read a book on engineering one time so now he is supposedly qualified.
So I guess in closing your right there is no excuse because you are the one that has to validate the reason being an excuse. But the reason is what generates events not excuse.
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H
Hosannainthehighest
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reasoning does not change that when something is wrong it is wrong, why reason out of a wrong? that's trying to justify why it's ok to do something wrong. it's just plain not ok.
which is why i started this, because taku60 is making out that it's ok to cheat if there is a reason and that is likely the wifes fault, it's the husbands vow to God, if he cheated he is wrong, no two ways about it.
which is why i started this, because taku60 is making out that it's ok to cheat if there is a reason and that is likely the wifes fault, it's the husbands vow to God, if he cheated he is wrong, no two ways about it.
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Easyk
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h, that is true..
women must understand and realise we men are not bullet proof.. we react poorly to somethings and get hurt deep in the heart and soul.. and follow some lfawed reasoning. it doesnt justify the sin of cheating. it is cheating and wrong.
women who deny their husbands often and belittle their sex drive, are in the wrong too. we men will respond gen in 3 ways,
1.) we cheat and get forfilled eslewhere.
2.) get a divorce as fast as possible.
3.) commit suicide, they see no way out and its the best way to end the pain.
now a christian man may do the forth.
4.) tell the wife that its wrong to belittle him, and a terrible thing to do to hit him at the heardest and most tender part of who and what he is.
5.) hide it, suck it up and die a little each day until the will to live is gone.
women must understand and realise we men are not bullet proof.. we react poorly to somethings and get hurt deep in the heart and soul.. and follow some lfawed reasoning. it doesnt justify the sin of cheating. it is cheating and wrong.
women who deny their husbands often and belittle their sex drive, are in the wrong too. we men will respond gen in 3 ways,
1.) we cheat and get forfilled eslewhere.
2.) get a divorce as fast as possible.
3.) commit suicide, they see no way out and its the best way to end the pain.
now a christian man may do the forth.
4.) tell the wife that its wrong to belittle him, and a terrible thing to do to hit him at the heardest and most tender part of who and what he is.
5.) hide it, suck it up and die a little each day until the will to live is gone.
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k450ofu3k-gh-5ipe
Senior Member
I buy the two packs of toothbrushes as well cause they're cheaper per toothbrush, and I also have a pink one. My question to you is: Why wouldn't you buy the two packs of toothbrushes? It's a waste of money not to buy them in twos. Hmm...two toothbrushes for $1 or one toothbrush for $1...this one is difficult. Same could be said about soda if you're into drinking high fructose corn syrup. A twenty ounce coke for $1.49 or a two-liter for $.99...
Anyway, his story sounds totally legit, but if it's grating on you that much, go get it tested. What's a little bit of money compared to peace of mind.
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k450ofu3k-gh-5ipe
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I pick #2. That way you are not cheating and can go get what you need.
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just for record my husbands cheating was not a physical affair, it was an emotional attachment to someone else who was very needy.
Oddly enough, even through all the issues we dealt with during that difficult time, our sex life never was affected, if anything, it got better.
Oddly enough, even through all the issues we dealt with during that difficult time, our sex life never was affected, if anything, it got better.
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Buy a green tooth brush, use it, throw out the pink one and replace it with the green one...
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I would say the same goes for at least some women also. My first girlfriend was in kindergarden and didn't end until 9th grade. There was no fooling around or promiscuity involved and we both loved the Lord. Then one day I found out she'd been having an affair with another guy from another school who lived near her. So some stranger was who she gave her virginity to. To say I was crushed is an understatement. I lost something like 30 pounds in a month and everyone around me was saying that I looked like I was going to die. But the pain didn't stop there. It affected me for the next 20 years in all my relationships. It even drove me to doing things I would not ordinarily have done. I think that event caused a deep and basic mistrust of women which opened the door for the adversary to come in and reek all sorts of havok. But I can not blame women. For I am the reason that the affair took hold of me. I was to young to realize that my faith was shaky do to the fact that I did not have Jesus Christ first in my life above all else. Years later I have realized that it is my own low self-esteem that was fuel to the fire which lead to a viscious cycle of moral decline justifying not feeling worthy of love and then feeling sorry for myself through guilt and shame. Only with the help of the Lord and by giving myself completely to Him have I been more free from the bonds of sin.
Just wanted to share my example and that cheating no matter for what reason or excuse can lead to destruction of either person if the foundation in Christ is not the number one thing in your life. I know this is an older topic but for anyone reading, if there is any reason to think or even suspect that your mate is having an affair there is only one thing to do. Take this burden completely to God and ask Him to help you carry it.
God bless and I hope for an update,
P.I.P.
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