Divorced with 4 year old daughter

[tinkstoesrshort]

Ok, I am not sure where I stand on this issue right now, so I'm looking for other's thoughts and opinions. The story is:

My best friend introduced me to her 24 year old cousin, who she's been wanting me to meet for a while. It turns out we have a lot in common and became close in a very short period of time. He is a Christian, a gentleman, an avid reader, intelligent, sociable, and very down-to-earth. I've grown very fond of him. On the flip side, he is divorced and the father of a 4-year-old girl. Basically he made some mistakes with a girl when he was younger and married her in hopes that it was the right thing to do. Unfortunately it was not, and now he is single - and not only that - but he is stationed in Spain in the Air Force. I've been cautioned not to pursue a relationship with him because of these many "taboos", however I cannot cease having feelings for him. I never imagined dating someone with this kind of background - and I know I would find conflict with my family. I see him as forgiven, not only by God, but by himself and his family, but when I think of him, I see him for who he is and not the mistakes he may have made in the past. I am praying for God's guidance and blessings, but I also wonder if I am only getting myself into a situation that is dangerous territory.

 

[JillLars]

tinks, I think its good that you are praying about it, make sure you continue to do so. Make sure and take things slowly. What do you consider to be a dangerous aspect about this relationship? Are you afraid of emotional danger, or spiritual danger? You should not be afraid of what society thinks because you know that God has forgiven this man for his past mistakes. Don't let society and other people interfere with your feelings. Continue to pray, and God will put everything into place.

 

[tinkstoesrshort]

Thanks Jilly Bean - very helpful words. I guess the thing that I see dangerous about the relationship is the spiritual aspect. I've always had this idea of who God wants me to date and consequently marry someday. I'm not saying that I have to marry this man, but that is ultimately my purpose in dating. I guess I'm thinking, "THIS one, God? Really?" - because he's so different from who I imagined myself being with. But perhaps I need to not put God "in a box" - He is capable of anything, and knows the plans for my life.

 

[desi]

Look up the problems with step parenting and compare the circumstances behind his divorce to when the bible permits divorce. Then decide what to do based on what you know and how you feel about it.

 

[JillLars]

tinks, I think you're right in trying to avoid putting God in a box. Sometimse the weirdest things happen and you just don't understand why. My parents just got divorced this past spring, and though it was a very painful experience, I feel like God was really working through it, like helping me to be there for everyone in my family. Sometimes he works through situations that we wouldn't really expect him to.

 

[tinkstoesrshort]

Amen to that. I'm glad you see that God stays by you even through the toughest of times. *yay* In fact, my parents went through the same thing. My dad hit rock bottom, then started going to church, and got baptized a year ago. Though he's in prison right now, he leads bible studies and disciples other prisoner's. I know he could not have gotten to where he is now if God hadn't worked miracles with his trials and failures.

 

[Manna]

Wow, girl, you are singing my song! I am engaged to a wonderful, 23-year-old man. He is also divorced and has a 4 year old son. Same story, got his gf pregnant, then he got saved and tried to make things right by marrying her. I remember many times saying the same thing you just did "Really, God?? THIS one?" He was never the type that I pictured myself with. But God has blessed me more than I ever imagined by giving this man to me to be my husband.

But it's not easy. Because of his past, his ex, and his son, our lives are different than most engaged Christian couples. God is blessing us every step of the way, but it's far from easy! =)

I'm praying for you...I'm also here to talk if you need it. I'm in the same boat and know you need to have a sounding board every once and awhie! =)

Don't stress about it...God will show you what to do!

Anna

 

[tinkstoesrshort]

Whoa! That's crazy...thanks for the support