Divorced single versus never married...

[OhhJim]

There's quite a bit of evidence in the Old Testament that suggests that sex is the actual initiator of marriage, not a ceremony. Once two virgins slept together, they were to become husband and wife. If they were then to sleep with other people, they would then be violating God's law and be committing adultery.

Of course, these rules are found in the same areas of the OT that forbid eating shrimp.

"Hi, my name's OhhJim, and I'm a Shrimpoholic!"

The Old Testament rules were for Jews, God's Chosen People. Paul makes it pretty clear that as Christians, our righteousness is by faith, not by observing rules.

 

[elle_christian]

Is there a difference?

I say there is a very big difference -- a person who has never married does not have all the baggage that a divorced person has -- by baggage I refer to the physical/sexual, emotional, financial, the absence of the spouse, and a host of other problems that the never married doesn't have to deal with. (That's if the never married has stayed pure.)
I've been married and divorced -- it's no fun. I think I would prefer to have stayed single to this.

 

[Glorianna]

This thread gave me an idea.

http://www.christianforums.com/showthread.php?t=1179883

 

[2Timothy2]

Of course, these rules are found in the same areas of the OT that forbid eating shrimp.

"Hi, my name's OhhJim, and I'm a Shrimpoholic!"

The Old Testament rules were for Jews, God's Chosen People. Paul makes it pretty clear that as Christians, our righteousness is by faith, not by observing rules.

Don't mean to pick nits, or derail this wonderful thread, but, the folks in the OT were made righteous by their faith as well, not by observing rules.

 

[auntlala]

i'm a divorced single..and i say there is a BIG difference. if i'd have known then, what i know now, i'd have stayed single. but you can't change the past..you can only make sure not to repeat those mistakes in the future.

 

[PetraFan007]

There Is A Very Big Difference. End Of Story.

 

[makkulu]

The divorce sub-forum of marriage is very accomodating to divorcees. I an not and discourage divorce almost without exception. Just was wondering where the singles here stand on it.

Correct me if I am wrong but from the stated purpose of the divorce sub-forum, it is meant to be supportive of and encouraging of divorced and separated Christians - it's a support forum not a "discussion of the rights and wrongs of divorce" forum. Is that what you mean by accomodating? Whatever the beliefs about divorce that people in that subforum have (ie when it is right and when it is wrong, or who can initiate it biblically or whatever) I don't see the value in anyone giving them a hard time about being divorced or separated - or being perceived to be doing so - if they are not able to do anything to change their circumstances. From the couple of times I have been in that forum, most of those that are separated and not yet divorced cannot legally prevent their impending divorces since they live in no-fault states where both parties don't have to agree in order to obtain a divorce anyway. They can fight tooth and nail and it's happening despite them - no wonder they need support! So having a shot at them and telling them to reconcile is about as pointless as telling someone it is a sin to be hit by a car - and just about any discussion about such a loaded question (when is divorce ok or whatever the precise topic would be) which is carried out in a support forum is surely doomed to wind up causing pain, no matter how lovingly it is handled, since the points of view about it are so mutually exclusive and divorce is, after all, as painful as a death in many ways. Debates about whether divorce is right or wrong and in what circumstances belong in different forums, perhaps the marriage forum, or here in singles, but not the divorce subforum, IMO. Bit like shutting the gate after the horse has bolted, and making people feel condemned, potentially.

So I reckon, if you want to find whether people agree with you etc, Desi, or have debates or discussion or whatever, then the singles forum is definitely a better place to do it, so kudos to you for that!

Makk

 

[2Timothy2]

So I reckon, if you want to find whether people agree with you etc, Desi, or have debates or discussion or whatever, then the singles forum is definitely a better place to do it, so kudos to you for that!

Makk

I would respectfully disagree with this part. This is the Single's Ministry forum, not the Married And Wants To Argue forum. Not that Desi is doing this here, but that would be what I see would happen if they came in here for such as you just suggested.

 

[makkulu]

I would respectfully disagree with this part. This is the Single's Ministry forum, not the Married And Wants To Argue forum. Not that Desi is doing this here, but that would be what I see would happen if they came in here for such as you just suggested.

2Timothy2, I actually don't disagree with your disagreement, funny as that may seem, because I do think that threads about such things as grounds for divorce are always going to be potential minefields no matter how or where they occur, and yep having married people joining conversations in the singles forum is not the usually done thing, even when it is done for good reasons. But, I do believe that it is far better to have those discussions (asking singles what they think about divorce) in the singles ministry than in the divorce support forum... I figure there are divorced people here who may not use the married forum since they are no longer married, and who might want to contribute to the discussion. I don't really know which is the best forum for it, but was just glad desi at least posted his question here rather than in the divorce support forum.

I certainly agree that any thread which is really a "married and wants to argue" thread is not appropriate in the singles ministry, nor any other forum, really. I can't stand threads like that, I really can't . And I would hope that the mods in any forum would shut such a thread down and or warn the OP if they were literally starting a thread in order to pick a fight or start an argument.

Makk

 

[2Timothy2]

2Timothy2, I actually don't disagree with your disagreement, funny as that may seem, because I do think that threads about such things as grounds for divorce are always going to be potential minefields no matter how or where they occur, and yep having married people joining conversations in the singles forum is not the usually done thing, even when it is done for good reasons. But, I do believe that it is far better to have those discussions (asking singles what they think about divorce) in the singles ministry than in the divorce support forum... I figure there are divorced people here who may not use the married forum since they are no longer married, and who might want to contribute to the discussion. I don't really know which is the best forum for it, but was just glad desi at least posted his question here rather than in the divorce support forum.

I certainly agree that any thread which is really a "married and wants to argue" thread is not appropriate in the singles ministry, nor any other forum, really. I can't stand threads like that, I really can't . And I would hope that the mods in any forum would shut such a thread down and or warn the OP if they were literally starting a thread in order to pick a fight or start an argument.

Makk

Agreed