Divorced single versus never married...

[desi]

Is there a difference?

 

[Iggster]

Big time............Divorce means the person promised to be there for better, or worst. But somehow, someone couldn't hold up to their word.

Single Never Married = never committed to something they thought they could not see themselves in......Just my .02 cents.

 

[Disciple_Of_God19]

my opinion is that if you feel you need to get a divorce from your wife then you should have stayed single in the first place if you want to avoid commitment (or however that's spelled) Unless you're ready for marriage then you should stay single.

 

[fishstix]

Is there a difference?

Yes, there is a difference. Someone who is divorced has been through a lot of different experiences than someone who was never married. And our experiences do change us to some degree - some in a positive way and some in a negative way. Also, depending on just why the person got divorced in the first place, they may have some extra emotional baggage and possibly even some extra spiritual baggage. Furthermore, except for cases where the other person was unfaithful or abusive, many Christians would view a divorced person as still being married in God's eyes and thus not 'available' the way a never married single would be, even though legally they are single.

 

[markdw82]

Big time............Divorce means the person promised to be there for better, or worst. But somehow, someone couldn't hold up to their word.

Single Never Married = never committed to something they thought they could not see themselves in......Just my .02 cents.

Well, there are some instances in which the person attempts to preserve the marriage, but they cannot because it is the other person who wants/gets the divorce.

Also, sometimes a spouse is in some way excessively abusive. Such a situation is definitely not good to be in, and divorce is the best option in most cases.

 

[smurfy2day]

Yes, I had a guy that I went on a date with tell me I was used goods, after I told him I was divorced, and we left right then and there. That was horrible!

 

[Christ Aficionado]

Matthew 5:32 - But I say unto you, That whosoever shall put away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication, causeth her to commit adultery: and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced committeth adultery.

 

[Grunt]

There is a difference... exactly what the difference is and how much it affects things depends on the exact circumstances of the divorce.

Big time............Divorce means the person promised to be there for better, or worst. But somehow, someone couldn't hold up to their word.

Single Never Married = never committed to something they thought they could not see themselves in......Just my .02 cents.

You do know that most places it only takes one person to end a marriage? You pledge for better or worst, til death do you part and mean it with all of your heart, but if your spouse decides they "aren't happy" or something like that.

Not to mention that there are other circumstances, such as abuse.

 

[Breetai]

For an Easter gift, Desi, how would you like a shiny new set of flame armor?

 

[Iggster]

May be I should have written someone as in SOMEONE......Notice that it doesn't exactly point to a male or female.....Just SOMEONE....which could be either one of the two.

 

[Heatherondo]

Well, there are some instances in which the person attempts to preserve the marriage, but they cannot because it is the other person who wants/gets the divorce.

Also, sometimes a spouse is in some way excessively abusive. Such a situation is definitely not good to be in, and divorce is the best option in most cases.

first off is this in general or for a potential mate?

It will not bother me if my future husband is divorced, as long as it was a situation where he left because his previous spouse cheated or was, like me, forcibley divorced.


as for BEING a divorced single.... my husband cheated...... i forgave and tried to make it work, he just wasnt having it and left me and divorced me, regardless of what i felt about it.

What am i gonna do?
I kept my end of th bargin.. even beyond what i was biblically responsible to do.
Does that mean at 34 i should never marry again?> never know love and intamacy?

I dont think so. I dont think god iontended for us to be alone our whole lives, even in the NT it speaks of if you burn with passion it is better to marry... and that fits my situation...I pray often for my next and last husband.... what i want in him. I have teh knowledge now of what i dont want..... and my standards are set very high this time..... and i am sticking to them.

 

[Heatherondo]

Yes, I had a guy that I went on a date with tell me I was used goods, after I told him I was divorced, and we left right then and there. That was horrible!

THAT makes me SO disgusted!

used goods... i wonder if he would have felt that way about someone who had been sexually active prior to becoming a Christian (or even after for that matter)?

ARGH! MEN!

See thats why i am taking a 2 year break from men... they are infuriating lol

 

[fluffy_rainbow]

Not another thread about divorce. *beats head against computer* Internet dating sites give the option for your marital status as either single-never married or divorced. Obviously there is a difference. Single simply means "not married". One can be single and divorced. One can be single and have never been married, but there is a difference between divorced single and never been married single.

 

[the_man]

Is there a difference?

What do you mean by "difference". That is, what is the motivation of the question?

 

[Veritas]

Divorced people are more likely to remarry (and divorce again) than never-marrieds (past a certain age) are to marry for the first time. I think that never-marrieds have higher standards (or are more selective) than divorced people. I suppose it has something to do with already knowing what flaws you're willing and able to accept. Also, a divorced person with kids probably doesn't feel they can be too picky. Some never-marrieds are unable to commit and some divorcee's are unable to be alone. Our own fears and insecurities drive our behaviors and often have unfortunate consequences.

 

[Sketcher]

My conscience would not sit well with me if I pursued a relationship with a divorcee. I don't see Biblical justification for it, so there is a huge difference.

If SHE was left against her will and the ex husband got waxed by a truck, then I can see her as an option.

 

[Fatolia]

My conscience would not sit well with me if I pursued a relationship with a divorcee. I don't see Biblical justification for it, so there is a huge difference.

If SHE was left against her will and the ex husband got waxed by a truck, then I can see her as an option.

I agree. Feelings or not, loneliness or not, the Bible is very explicit about what is adultery. Remarriage is adultery according to the Bible. We have a choice whether we take on what the Bible says or to not in this case.

 

[Grunt]

If the circumstances and customs commonly surrounding divorce were the same today as they were is Jesus' time, I would agree with you. Alas, they aren't, and I don't.

 

[Fatolia]

If the circumstances and customs commonly surrounding divorce were the same today as they were is Jesus' time, I would agree with you. Alas, they aren't, and I don't.

Things haven't changed much since Jesus' time. We just wear different clothes, eat different food, have access to more technology, and respond to the seasons a bit differently. Relationships and sin are exactly the same.

 

[Grunt]

Things haven't changed much since Jesus' time. We just wear different clothes, eat different food, have access to more technology, and respond to the seasons a bit differently. Relationships and sin are exactly the same.

... please tell me you aren't that naive?