Divorce

[butterflyring09]

Few Christians truly understand... that God HATES divorce.

"For I hate divorce!" says the LORD, the God of Israel. "To divorce your wife is to overwhelm her with cruelty," says the LORD of Heaven's Armies. "So guard your heart; do not be unfaithful to your wife." Mal. 2:16 (NLT)

It is not a part of His original plan,

Gen. 2:18

18. And the LORD God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him.
21. So the LORD God caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man, and he slept; then He took one of his ribs and closed up the flesh at that place.
22. And the rib, which the LORD God had taken from man, made he a woman, and brought her unto the man.
23. And Adam said, This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man.
24. Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.


Divorce is not even apart of GOD'S plan. Divorce is a man-made law (by Moses!) Jesus confirms it here:

Matthew 19:3-9
3. Some Pharisees came to him to test him. They asked, "Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any and every reason?"
4. "Haven't you read," he replied, "that at the beginning the Creator 'made them male and female,'
5. and said, 'For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh'?
6. So they are no longer two, but one. Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate."
7. "Why then," they asked, "did Moses command that a man give his wife a certificate of divorce and send her away?"
8. Jesus replied, "Moses permitted you to divorce your wives because your hearts were hard. But it was not this way from the beginning.
9. I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for marital unfaithfulness, and marries another woman commits adultery."

Moreover, in verse 9, Jesus makes it clear that WOMEN cannot divorce their husband but only MEN are able to divorce the wife.

Paul further elaborates how wives ought to be to their husbands:

Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. Eph. 5:22

Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything. Eph. 5:24

Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord. Col. 3:18

Peters confirms the same thing:

Wives, in the same way be submissive to your husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives, when they see the purity and reverence of your lives. 1 Peter 3:1-2

In Titus it is also written:

Likewise, teach the older women to be reverent in the way they live, not to be slanderers or addicted to much wine, but to teach what is good. Then they can train the younger women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the word of God.Titus 2:5

Men have responsibilities to love their wives as Christ has loved the Church as well. But the focus of this topic... is divorce, and how it is unlawful to divorce EXCEPT if the WOMAN commits adultery and how women are to pray for their husbands (if they commit adultery or such) because it is God-fearing, wise and praying WOMEN who will compass a man.. back to Christ-living (Jer. 31:22).

What happens if you are not on one page with your wife?

Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers. 1 Peter 3:7

If you are not on one accord with your wife, your prayer life will start suffering.

Marriage is a BIG choice. Jesus knew it was. For that reason he said this:

Mat. 19:11-12
Jesus replied, "Not everyone can accept this word, but only those to whom it has been given. (NLT)

For example, some men are celibate because they were born that way. Others are celibate because they were castrated. Still others have decided to be celibate because of the kingdom of heaven. If anyone can do what has been suggested, then he should do it." (GWT)

This has been a message from the Word.

 

[Bushido216]

Are you asking a question or lecturing?

 

[Ar Cosc]

So BR, if your husband were to start beating you, or cheating on you with other women, would you just sit back and take it, or would you ask for a divorce?

 

[butterflyring09]

So BR, if your husband were to start beating you, or cheating on you with other women, would you just sit back and take it, or would you ask for a divorce?

Good question. I won't divorce my husband unless God says otherwise and it is NOT according to His will that I be joined with that man. As far as the man's sin, I will walk in wisdom and move if I have to. But I will seek God in His word day and night, praying without ceasing that he changes his ways.

For this is God's will that no soul be lost but all shall be saved.

 

[Kamrian]

According to you, "God" hates quite a lot of things.

 

[butterflyring09]

According to you, "God" hates quite a lot of things.

Well, if you count all the wicked things listed in the bible, God indeed hates all of those.

But he LOVES righteousness. Not righteous works, but righteousness acquired through faith in Him. Have you accepted Christ Jesus as your personal Lord and Savior? He's calling you home, dear beloved

John 3:16
Romans 10:9-10

 

[PreachersWife2004]

I'm divorced AND remarried. And God has blessed my second marriage quite abundantly. It was after many prayers and meetings with my pastors that I decided (with a much heavy heart) to file for divorce from a man who was physically and mentally abusive, not only to me but also to our infant son. He abandoned his marriage vows not long after he took them and I do not regret the decision I made. I regret the sin on my ex's part that led to the divorce, but it was for my own spiritual good and the good of my son that I left the marriage.

I am now married to a pastor who loves and cares for me the way my first husband never did. My son is experiencing what a good Godly husband does and he will hopefully carry that into his marriage, should he get married. We have three beautiful little boys as well who will have a strong foundation not only in their faith, but also in the ways in which a marriage is a Godly marriage.

Yes, God most certainly hates divorce, but God hates any sin. We also know that all things work out to God's glory, and I can only say that my current marriage certainly glorifies God.

Have a blessed evening!

 

[JustMeSee]

I promised myself that I would never get divorced. Unfortunately, I found that I married the wrong person for all of the wrong reasons. I tried desperately to save the marriage, but it wasn't to be.

 

[flicka]

I promised myself that I would never get divorced. Unfortunately, I found that I married the wrong person for all of the wrong reasons. I tried desperately to save the marriage, but it wasn't to be.

You can make all the vows and promises you want but if the other person decides to ruin the marriage there isn't a whole lot left for you to do. Especially if they want to move on without you. Sometimes divorce is the ONLY option available to you.

 

[Yusuf Evans]

And yet half of all those who claim to be Christian still get divorces(some with multiple divorces).

 

[Gracchus]

When a spouse is a molester, abusive, a drunk, violent, or repeatedly unfaithful, not divorcing them may be wrong. (I don't know about sin, I let God take care of the religious matters in my family. I just try to keep order.)

 

[Yusuf Evans]

When a spouse is a molester, abusive, a drunk, violent, or repeatedly unfaithful, not divorcing them may be wrong. (I don't know about sin, I let God take care of the religious matters in my family. I just try to keep order.)

I'm of agreement, and as much as people might disagree, so does my religion.

 

[SoccerCoach]

And yet half of all those who claim to be Christian still get divorces(some with multiple divorces).

Makes Christians look like hypocrites huh.

 

[Yusuf Evans]

Makes Christians look like hypocrites huh.

My point is that the loudest opponents in the United States against immoral actions(i.e., divorce, homosexuality, adultery) tend to Christians and they tend to be the one's who commit the vast majority of these acts.

 

[SoccerCoach]

My point is that the loudest opponents in the United States against immoral actions(i.e., divorce, homosexuality, adultery) tend to Christians and they tend to be the one's who commit the vast majority of these acts.

OK

Makes Christians look like hypocrites huh

 

[clep]

I'm divorced AND remarried. And God has blessed my second marriage quite abundantly. It was after many prayers and meetings with my pastors that I decided (with a much heavy heart) to file for divorce from a man who was physically and mentally abusive, not only to me but also to our infant son. He abandoned his marriage vows not long after he took them and I do not regret the decision I made. I regret the sin on my ex's part that led to the divorce, but it was for my own spiritual good and the good of my son that I left the marriage.

I am now married to a pastor who loves and cares for me the way my first husband never did. My son is experiencing what a good Godly husband does and he will hopefully carry that into his marriage, should he get married. We have three beautiful little boys as well who will have a strong foundation not only in their faith, but also in the ways in which a marriage is a Godly marriage.

Yes, God most certainly hates divorce, but God hates any sin. We also know that all things work out to God's glory, and I can only say that my current marriage certainly glorifies God.

Have a blessed evening!

So many of your posts inspire me. I divorced a physically abusive man as well. I remember him throwing keys at me while I was holding our daughter. I turned so they wouldn't hit her and the force of them hitting me cut my back.

I could not imagine answering to God or myself for that matter allowing my child to be in an abusive situation.

I believe God hates divorce and I also believe if my husband is abusing his family and is not a man of Christ or acting like it I cannot follow him.

Anyone that advocates staying in an abusive marriage over divorce, has probably never been in one.

 

[butterflyring09]

I promised myself that I would never get divorced. Unfortunately, I found that I married the wrong person for all of the wrong reasons. I tried desperately to save the marriage, but it wasn't to be.

That happens a lot. I think the key thing Christians need to remember is that it's GOD who puts marriages together... not our emotions. A lot of people get married because of emotions... not because it's God ordained!

A God-ordained marriage is not meant to broken. But prayer without is definitely necessary!

 

[butterflyring09]

When a spouse is a molester, abusive, a drunk, violent, or repeatedly unfaithful, not divorcing them may be wrong. (I don't know about sin, I let God take care of the religious matters in my family. I just try to keep order.)

As long as you can support your divorce with a God-given scripture from the word, that's all that matters. That is, if your marriage to such a person was not God-ordained, even if you give them divorce papers, it was not a part of God's plan, so God does not see that (especially after repentance). However, if you DO happen to marry such a person (as in the book of Hosea), you are NOT to leave that person but to obey God's voice regarding what to do about that situation---and you can only hear God's voice.. in His word.

There have been several situations in which people married to drunks, alcholics, and drug abusers have been transformed due to a praying woman or husband.

As far as a physically abusive spouse, only God can give you wisdom from His WORD, not based upon your emotions and what you see, but His WORD.

And yes, God will require that you walk with wisdom and not as a fool who goes back to where their is trouble. Just read the book of Proverbs.

 

[mpok1519]

^what you're sayin is insane; "don't get a divorce unless God tells you it's okay!" "if you get a divorce make sure you can justify it with scripture!" "You shouldn't get married unless God tells you to." "God makes all of our decisions for us including picking a spouse".

If you're in an abusive relationship get out! There's absolutely no time to think about it or mull it over with God; as soon as your man hits you or becomes verbally hostile and abusive GET OUT! It's that simple!

no! If your husband is attacking you, God wants you to be healthy! Shame on those women who actively stay in abusive relationships bc they're afraid God will hate them!

 

[butterflyring09]

^what you're sayin is insane;

"God makes all of our decisions for us including picking a spouse".

I didn't say that. You did. God didn't tell you to write what you just did right now. You told yourself to.

God has given us free will to choose between one of three wills.

1. God's perfect will
2. Our own will which could choose between either
God's perfect will or
3. Satan's.

There is no gray area.

If you don't know the will of God, the chances are that 99.9% of the time you are doing Satan's will, which is 100% rebellion. And the scripture which supports this is the verse that says that God takes the foolishness of this world to confound the wise. 1 Corinthians 1:27 You can live based upon worldly wisdom (which is poisoned by the god of this world, Satan--2 Corinthians 4:4), or you can live based upon God's holy and righteous wisdom (only found in the infallible Word of God).

God's will isn't based upon your logic. It isn't found in the wind or on television and the media. It isn't found in emotions nor it is found in someone else's.

To the educated Christian, the Word is the ultimate, it is the ONLY reality, regardless of what you see in people, situations, in the world.

God's will, it's written in the Bible. Read and learn about God, the way He thinks and the choices you make will no longer be based upon 'common sense' or emotion leading to flawed choices and ultimately horrible break ups and traumas. But base your choices upon sound doctrine and wisdom which comes only of the Word of God. And (though there may be some ups and downs--Satan will test you) your life will run more smoother than you could ever possibly imagine.