Divorce and the Deacon...

[barlowe]

i'll try to make a long story short. a well respected deacon in our church has recently decided to divorce his wife. he had a heart attack around 2 years ago and has suffered from chest pains ever since. he said that when he decided to leave his wife, his chest pains went away. there has been no cheating or anything of the sort in this marriage. granted, his wife is very lazy, has no job and never cleans her house. the husband has had to do this almost since the marriage started. they have 3 young children and he had pretty much single handedly raised them. the mother is not totally a 'do nothing' though. she does take them to many different types of church and music camps, etc. the whole family is always at church when the doors are open. as a matter of fact, the mother id the church pianists.
i have talked to a couple of the deacons and they seem to back the husband. they say that he has been under a lot of stress and that since he broke the news, he is a new man. is it just me or does it seem that he is running away from the Christian marriage and the 'deacon club' at our church are standing behing one of their own? he says that the marriage is past being able to be helped by counseling, etc. he also says that if he wants to live, he has to give up on the marriage so that the 'stress' will go away, thus another heart attack being avoided.
the church is making no attempt to dismiss him as a deacon. it seems to me they are trying to 'hide' the facts anyway. the wife even tells everyone not to talk bad about him because he is a good man. she wants to make it work but as i've said, he has given up. he plans on leaving her within the week.
am i wrong in thinking that he should be dismissed as a deacon? am i wrong in thinking that God does not want this marriage to end? i don't think that God is going to allow him to die of a heart attack due to his marriage.
as many of you know, my family and i are going through many problems ourselves. financial problems that is, so i don't want to get overwhelmed by this problem but it hits really close to home. the mans wife is my wifes sister. i have been praying constantly for them but i want to pray 'right' if you know what i mean. i really think i'm right in this but if anyone can shed any new light on this matter, please do. i am a Chirstian of only 14 years so i'm still growing in our Lord. Praise God!!
thank you for any help here and also pease pray for this couple.

SM

P.S. please excuse my spelling errors. i ain't blessed in that area!!

 

[Sharky]

Barlowe if there's one thing i learnt about pain it's that it is put in front of us to develop us. Otherwise we'd be as weak as jelly. The situation you describe seems a little strange and awkward. Care to put more info or take some indepth research because i can't pray for something i don't understand but i'll tell God to watch over them.

For you though i pray that God may help you get through your financial problems . Going through life you have to experience pain or some form of insane difficulty. But if it's as bad as it is, then be happy cause it'll only get better. I don't think God is going to let you and your family end up on the streets. Keep listening because God might tell you something important.

 

[Mr.Cheese]

I don't know these people so I don't want to say anything about it.

It takes two people to be married though. It takes two to make it work.
So you have to wonder who is responsible for the failure of the marriage?

 

[Blade]

Originally posted by barlowe
i'll try to make a long story short. a well respected deacon in our church has recently decided to divorce his wife. he had a heart attack around 2 years ago and has suffered from chest pains ever since. he said that when he decided to leave his wife, his chest pains went away. there has been no cheating or anything of the sort in this marriage. granted, his wife is very lazy, has no job and never cleans her house. the husband has had to do this almost since the marriage started. they have 3 young children and he had pretty much single handedly raised them. the mother is not totally a 'do nothing' though. she does take them to many different types of church and music camps, etc. the whole family is always at church when the doors are open. as a matter of fact, the mother id the church pianists.
i have talked to a couple of the deacons and they seem to back the husband. they say that he has been under a lot of stress and that since he broke the news, he is a new man. is it just me or does it seem that he is running away from the Christian marriage and the 'deacon club' at our church are standing behing one of their own? he says that the marriage is past being able to be helped by counseling, etc. he also says that if he wants to live, he has to give up on the marriage so that the 'stress' will go away, thus another heart attack being avoided.
the church is making no attempt to dismiss him as a deacon. it seems to me they are trying to 'hide' the facts anyway. the wife even tells everyone not to talk bad about him because he is a good man. she wants to make it work but as i've said, he has given up. he plans on leaving her within the week.
am i wrong in thinking that he should be dismissed as a deacon? am i wrong in thinking that God does not want this marriage to end? i don't think that God is going to allow him to die of a heart attack due to his marriage.
as many of you know, my family and i are going through many problems ourselves. financial problems that is, so i don't want to get overwhelmed by this problem but it hits really close to home. the mans wife is my wifes sister. i have been praying constantly for them but i want to pray 'right' if you know what i mean. i really think i'm right in this but if anyone can shed any new light on this matter, please do. i am a Chirstian of only 14 years so i'm still growing in our Lord. Praise God!!
thank you for any help here and also pease pray for this couple.

SM

P.S. please excuse my spelling errors. i ain't blessed in that area!!

Hi barlowe, we know the Lord just hates divorce. If a spouse was cheating on the other and was not gona stop or somthing like that then I believe divorce is wise. If someone came to me and said the only reason was chest pains plus a lazy spouse I would say you need to stay married. But if its already done (there divorced) then theres nothing to talk about. As for deacon well I believe its the pastors choice. Just pray the lord will give your pastor wisdom and make the correct choice.

 

[barlowe]

Sharky. 'strange and awkward' does indeed describe the situation best. both parties have been devout Christians for as long as i've known them (around 16 years). but i really can add nothing to what i said before. it's pretty cut and dry unfortunately. he suffered a heart attack, blames the chest pains on his wife and now is leaving. thus with his decision he says he is basically cured of the chest pains and will now live a longer, healthier life. (btw.. he is demanding custody of all the children).
i heard today that he and his wife met with our pastor yesterday and the husband lashed out at the pastor twice! deacon material? hmmmm...
now he has personally attacked (with words) my family for no apparent reason. even though i stayed out of it all with the exception of coming here to vent, i got caught up in it. 'Gloom, despair & agongy on me, whooaaaa (a Hee Haw song just in case ya'll don't recognize it!)


SM

 

[Buggyman]

barlowe,

Even though I can understand where you are coming from.. I will say this.. In Church Politic.. No one wins.
My best advice is to stay out of it and Keep you eyes on God. God will be the judge of who's right and who's wrong.
One thing I learned a long time ago.. there are two sides to every story and neither are right.
I also learned that taken sides will burn yah every time..
I will be Praying for you and your Family and Let God handle the Deacon.

Buggy

 

[altya]

I agree with Buggyman - I am praying for you

 

[forjesus]

This is tough, I will give you my opinion. I think he should be asked to step down as deacon of the church. I say this for the sole reason that God does not like divorce, and a deacon should live according to Gods law.