Disturbing dreams etc

[Hei]

Fellow Christians, I need help...

I will recount my story here and hope you can offer some guidance or insight based on the Bible, something I may have missed...

As a child I was an avid believer in God and I was greatly moved by the story of Jesus. I prayed before going to sleep.

In my teenage years I drifted further away and this drift between me and God only grew as I became interested in new age teachings and eastern practices like meditation and yoga. I went unknowingly to a reiki class and had some sort of "tuning" done to me. The next night I had a vivid nightmare.

Due to toxic relationship dynamics, I lost the ability to feel love and be genuine, and I went through a psychosis in which I had the delusion that people around me were demons and that I had gone into some sort of hell. I spent time recovering. My emotional and mental state was not great. I relapsed a year later because I stopped taking medication. Again, a lengthy recovery process. Due to the religious nature of the psychosis, I started really reaching out to God. But I was also having nightmares about the devil, one in which where he said that I belong to him.

There was another in which I met my deceased grandmother, who said that she'd gone to hell. And then I saw the devil, and his eyes were like flaming fire and he said that he can snatch people into hell after they die.

I got in deeper into christianity and was begging God to acknowledge me and to make Himself known to me, and it seemed to be working, (for maybe a few days), I experienced a state which felt like true connection, I felt moved by the spirit and felt love and connection to those in my vicinity. I had repented of my sins and accepted Jesus and was reading the Bible out of a real desire to hear Gods word. I then had a dream where I saw my body, it had been tortured in some way, and then something was knitting it back together, and by the end I crossed my hands and said "I give it to Jesus" in a kind of singsong voice. I woke up in the middle of it with my heart pounding, but not out of fear, out of something else. But I did not have a good feeling about the dream. It scared and worried me. I started to wonder about the name of Jesus, whether it was the right name, or if it had been changed at some point in history. Perhaps the New Testament hadn't originally been written in greek, but in arameic, and that Jesus had had another name...

But then I read in the Bible, that God will send strong delusion as a test of faith. I was wondering could it be so. I remembered reading that Jesus' eyes had been described as flaming torches. And for awhile I thought that it could've been Jesus desguised as the devil in that one dream I had. I felt easy for a little while. But then I truly wondered, would Jesus lie and deceive like that? I spent a lot of time worrying, and I know worrying is a sin, but I couldn't help it. Since then, I don't care about the name, and I've been feeling uneasy about all the things that have happened to me, but I've sort of stepped down a bit. And taken a little distance. In the middle of my worrying I came to the realization that it is actually a great trust in God to live your life not worrying about God all the time.

Can you make sense of the things that have happened to me? I don't know how I feel about Jesus anymore. Whether His name IS Jesus... Or Yahusha or something else... I just believe in God and His Son.

 

[Maria Billingsley]

Fellow Christians, I need help...

I will recount my story here and hope you can offer some guidance or insight based on the Bible, something I may have missed...

As a child I was an avid believer in God and I was greatly moved by the story of Jesus. I prayed before going to sleep.

In my teenage years I drifted further away and this drift between me and God only grew as I became interested in new age teachings and eastern practices like meditation and yoga. I went unknowingly to a reiki class and had some sort of "tuning" done to me. The next night I had a vivid nightmare.

Due to toxic relationship dynamics, I lost the ability to feel love and be genuine, and I went through a psychosis in which I had the delusion that people around me were demons and that I had gone into some sort of hell. I spent time recovering. My emotional and mental state was not great. I relapsed a year later because I stopped taking medication. Again, a lengthy recovery process. Due to the religious nature of the psychosis, I started really reaching out to God. But I was also having nightmares about the devil, one in which where he said that I belong to him.

There was another in which I met my deceased grandmother, who said that she'd gone to hell. And then I saw the devil, and his eyes were like flaming fire and he said that he can snatch people into hell after they die.

I got in deeper into christianity and was begging God to acknowledge me and to make Himself known to me, and it seemed to be working, (for maybe a few days), I experienced a state which felt like true connection, I felt moved by the spirit and felt love and connection to those in my vicinity. I had repented of my sins and accepted Jesus and was reading the Bible out of a real desire to hear Gods word. I then had a dream where I saw my body, it had been tortured in some way, and then something was knitting it back together, and by the end I crossed my hands and said "I give it to Jesus" in a kind of singsong voice. I woke up in the middle of it with my heart pounding, but not out of fear, out of something else. But I did not have a good feeling about the dream. It scared and worried me. I started to wonder about the name of Jesus, whether it was the right name, or if it had been changed at some point in history. Perhaps the New Testament hadn't originally been written in greek, but in arameic, and that Jesus had had another name...

But then I read in the Bible, that God will send strong delusion as a test of faith. I was wondering could it be so. I remembered reading that Jesus' eyes had been described as flaming torches. And for awhile I thought that it could've been Jesus desguised as the devil in that one dream I had. I felt easy for a little while. But then I truly wondered, would Jesus lie and deceive like that? I spent a lot of time worrying, and I know worrying is a sin, but I couldn't help it. Since then, I don't care about the name, and I've been feeling uneasy about all the things that have happened to me, but I've sort of stepped down a bit. And taken a little distance. In the middle of my worrying I came to the realization that it is actually a great trust in God to live your life not worrying about God all the time.

Can you make sense of the things that have happened to me? I don't know how I feel about Jesus anymore. Whether His name IS Jesus... Or Yahusha or something else... I just believe in God and His Son.

Welcome! God will send a strong delusion, allow Satan to deceive, to those who want their ears tickeled with a false Gospel. It will sound "good" to them as Satan comes as an angel of light. God is not the author of confusion nor will He abandon you. Recieve His Holy Spirit so that you can walk with Him daily in love and peace. Be blessed,

 

[Hei]

It will sound "good" to them as Satan comes as an angel of light.

I don't understand... The dreams I had, he did not come as angel of light... And the good feelings I had were a result of reading the Bible and listening to gospel music. I had an actual desire to read God's word and to follow his commandments. And I felt love for the people near me. All I wanted was to read the Bible and to love my God and my neighbour. Is that false gospel?

 

[Maria Billingsley]

I don't understand... The dreams I had, he did not come as angel of light... And the good feelings I had were a result of reading the Bible and listening to gospel music. I had an actual desire to read God's word and to follow his commandments. And I felt love for the people near me. All I wanted was to read the Bible and to love my God and my neighbour. Is that false gospel?

Dreams are mostly flesh driven.

 

[Richard T]

I don't understand... The dreams I had, he did not come as angel of light... And the good feelings I had were a result of reading the Bible and listening to gospel music. I had an actual desire to read God's word and to follow his commandments. And I felt love for the people near me. All I wanted was to read the Bible and to love my God and my neighbour. Is that false gospel?

Nothing false about wanting to read your bible, love God or your neighbor. In reading through your post, you are right to quit worrying about the name. Jesus or the French equivalent is mainstream and no reason to change that on your own. You also seem to rely on feelings and experiences quite a bit. I do not discount these, but when you know the bible and what it teaches better, you can always count on that. I hope you can find some genuine Christians that will hep you in your faith to learn and grow in Christ.

 

[Sophrosyne]

Sounds to me you are one of those who are very sensitive to spiritual influences both good and bad and because of that you "feel" God AND.... AND demonic spirits also and because of that you are more easily affected by them including feelings and dreams perhaps even visions. People that are sensitive to spiritual things greatly need to know the Bible a LOT better because they need to "test" the spirits and testing them requires knowing what is and isn't "of God" in what they say and do and encourage you towards.
As for your dream, sometimes dreams are your subconscious itself revealing your desires and true shape of things, who you are, what you think and desire. They can be used to teach, encourage, and torment, and trick you even again you need to see if the dreams line up with God or not and if they don't then they are either just dreams or they are demonic influences acting upon you.
Seek the bible first before you put trust in spiritual things blindly. As for God giving people strong delusion, this isn't what he does for people who are truly seeking and desiring him in faith but those who are self absorbed and would be easily tempted to abandon God at the first opportunity they want their ears tickled with doctrine that pleases them but doesn't please God and are more concerned about themselves and what others think than God.

 

[Hei]

those who are self absorbed and would be easily tempted to abandon God at the first opportunity they want their ears tickled with doctrine that pleases them but doesn't please God and are more concerned about themselves and what others think than God.

I think that I did truly want to find God, but maybe there were elements in it that were self absorbed. I wanted to be filled with His love.

I feel ok about myself now I think because of Jesus, and the fact that he loves me, so I don't have to be perfect, I just need to keep his redemptive power in mind, and I'm carried through life.

My father says it's an inborn thing, an inborn knowledge.

When I was fretting about salvation, I was in a sort of panic, trying to get closer to God and to be more spiritual. And it led to negative experiences.

Now I have in mind the fact that I'm a sinner, but also the fact that I'm upheld by the grace of God. I have a trust, that I didn't have, as I was truggling to get closer to God. So maybe this is where God wants me?

“But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law.”

I feel as though I have the fruit of the Spirit now. I feel peace. But I don't have the desire to read the Bible??? I just feel this constant undercurrent of faith.

 

[Sophrosyne]

I think that I did truly want to find God, but maybe there were elements in it that were self absorbed. I wanted to be filled with His love.

I feel ok about myself now I think because of Jesus, and the fact that he loves me, so I don't have to be perfect, I just need to keep his redemptive power in mind, and I'm carried through life.

My father says it's an inborn thing, an inborn knowledge.

When I was fretting about salvation, I was in a sort of panic, trying to get closer to God and to be more spiritual. And it led to negative experiences.

Now I have in mind the fact that I'm a sinner, but also the fact that I'm upheld by the grace of God. I have a trust, that I didn't have, as I was truggling to get closer to God. So maybe this is where God wants me?

“But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law.”

I feel as though I have the fruit of the Spirit now. I feel peace. But I don't have the desire to read the Bible??? I just feel this constant undercurrent of faith.

Read the Bible... the authors of it were lead by the Holy Spirit.. the author of "feelings" for those who who are very spiritual Christians and the authors of the word often paid the ultimate price for it... their lives.
These great people of God some of which had a spiritual connection that flowed through them that cast out demons, healed people of diseases, even restored life to those who died, why do you not desire to connect with such spiritual awesomeness? Now I went through some burn out as I read the bible constantly for years going through the OT about 3 times and the NT about 7 times and I realized that I didn't feel I should be learning to quote exact scripture as my personality is better suited to paraphrase what I remember but I always instruct people who like what I say to READ IT YOURSELF because "doing the work" gives lasting results rather than sitting back and watching and feeling good. The Bible WILL give you more solid foundation to base your faith on and the words of God in it will always be there regardless of your feelings which can be like the wind going all over the place in direction and speed... the Bible is but a constant breeze.