Distrusting A Friend and Can't Get Over My Ex Girlfriend?

[nb408]

It's been over 2 months since I broke up with my girlfriend. We haven't spoken since, and it hurts right now the same as it did over 2 months ago. When we were dating, one of my good friends always gave me advice and wanted to know how I was doing in my relationship with her. He was her best friend.. I started to speculate that they were attracted to each other. And right before we broke up, my good friend told me that they've always had a thing for each other. Since before we ever started dating. Those words still haunt me to this day..

He went up to me 2 days after and told me he didn't know why he said that and he's sorry. I forgave him, but I know he was only apologizing because my ex was mad at him for that. My gut told me he was telling the truth. Christ says to forgive those who tresspass against you or your sins won't be forgiven. I still hang out with him from time to time. But I'm still hurt and it's so hard to forgive him for saying that. Out of everyone I hangout with, he knew I cared for her the most. Now everytime I hangout with him I'm possessed by the thought of them possibly being together. I can't let it go. Is this something I still need to discuss with him? I'm constantly wondering if they're together. Constantly missing my ex. Not a day since we broke up that I haven't thought of her.. While she's doing fine. Not missing me at all and not a care in the world. Which to be honest, makes me hate her.

The crazy thing is, I still want to be friends with him. Even though I don't trust him. Because we do have fun together. We have had deep discussions before and he is a Christian. I just don't know if it's healthy for me because of how much it hurts to be reminded of her. He won't tell me anything about her, even if I ask..

 

[Just_a_Christian]

I don't know how old you are but I'm guessing you're fairly young. Ive lived more than half my life now and I was in your shoes a little over 30 years ago. Only my friend wasn't what I'd call a Christian though.
My advice, take it or leave it
1) A true friend will not do you wrong, if he has, at least you know where you stand.
2) As for your ex, don't waste another second man. Dwell on it and you never know where you might end up. Life's way too short, move on.

 

[Jonaitis]

Yeah, I had something like that happen to me with a girl I was "madly in love" about years ago. He told me that he saw her as nothing more than a sister, but after we broke up he "dated" her and was emotionally defensive to me about our past relationship. I've realized later that the system of "dating" was flawed to begin with, and that I should not have gone so far with a woman the way I did in that relationship. I mean, we didn't go as far as we could have, but it was sure near it with everything else we did and allowed.

I recommend praying that the Lord would relieve you of this pain and grief, and to not be any longer attached. I did this and within a minute it left me, and that for the last six years. I am not saying God must immediately answer every prayer, but I would still take it to him to leave your burdens there.

I see no reason to break your friendship with him, but you must accept the fact that she never belonged to you to begin with. Yeah, sure, you "dated" her. Doesn't mean you really owned her, that's a novel idea that our society has created. She is only "yours" when you say your vows before a minister.

 

[Dorothy Mae]

The girl you need to give up emotionally as well and maybe it is best to pray for God's best in her life. If you ask God to meet your emotional needs, that helps as well. The "friend" said something to purposely wound you so keep that in mind. Might as well know when and where your friends have character problems. Does not mean you are not friends. No one is perfect and we are not either. We also hurt people and on purpose at times (let's be honest.) But forgiveness can restore relationships. Just lower the expectations somewhat. Jesus was friends with sinners (weren't any other choices) and I am very sure their words hurt him at times ("how long do I have to put up with you" he said once.) So move on a wiser man who is able to forgive those who stab you. I am afraid to tell you that will not be the last time in life. Best learn how to forgive.