Discussion/slight arguement with my Christian friend...

[Anthony87]

Last week my Christian friend (female) said that she could not come over to my house unless there is someone else in the house. We have been friends for over 2 years and she has often come round my house before and been alone with my. She also said we are not allowed to be in a room together alone if someone else in the house. I took offence to this as I felt like she was saying I was untrustworthy which I am not! She then went on to say that we were different people and I hadve different beliefs and made me out to be a right "lad" which I did not like.

What annoyed me most was that she made out we were different people and that she was strict with her beliefs etc. but she takes part in modelling events and models swimwear, clothes etc in front of an audience. Now I don't know a lot about Christianity but I know that in the eyes of god, expressing yourself in that way (modelling) is considered a sin as it deliberatly makes men lust after her body. I told her this and she simply would not have it and said that I was talking "crap" and that there is nothing wrong with modelling.

So what do you guys think? Is modelling a sin? Was I right to defend myself with that comment...after all she offended me by saying she was different and in a round about way had (better morals) than me.

Thanks

 

[drich0150]

I think it is silly to throw a friendship away over your pride.

 

[zaksmummy]

I can see that you both have a point.

What you are both discussing is things that lead people to sin, rather than sin itself.

Maybe her opinion of you has changed - maybe she did not want to put herself in a compromising place, alone with you where temptation of a sexual nature could creep in.

On your point, modelling itself is not a sin, exposing yourself in public in hardly any clothes could be seen to be not dressing in a modest fashion, which although is ill advised again is not a sin. Most people would wear very little on a beach for example and that wouldnt be considered sinful. Again it is leading people into thoughts of a lustful nature which is a sin - and I think that was your point.

 

[LWB]

I'm afraid I tend to side with your female friend. It probably is better for there to be a chaperone when it comes to young men and women being together. Just because this has not been the case in the past, doesn't mean she cannot review her conduct and resolve to uphold a new standard.

I also disagree that modelling is sinful. If it wasn't for beautiful models, the world would be deprived of much great artwork. If it is impossible to look upon someone's physical beauty without involving lust, then it must also be impossible to adore a sunset, a tree, a beautiful creature like a horse or a cat, or even a little child; without lust.

Just be gracious and forgive any trespass against you. You will be miserable in life if you don't learn this ability.

 

[salida]

I agree with your friend and you. There should be a shaporone and her swim suit thing isn't modest.

 

[Anthony87]

There are mixed opinions on this question. Some Christians think it is a sin to model as it could potentially cause people to lust after her which is a sin. Of course going to the beach or swimming involves wearing less clothes and this can be avoided but I think anything involving modelling and "vanity" is a sin especially when it was her decision. But I guess it is a matter of opinion and I value the friendship!

 

[Mr Dave]

I tend to agree with zaksmummy here.

Sorry to hear about this situation though. It does seem a tad extreme to insist on not spending time together in a house, although I can't know the fullness of the situation nor all of what she thinks.

 

[Varicose Brains]

I agree with your friend and you. There should be a shaporone and her swim suit thing isn't modest.

This is just ludicrous. It makes the OP sound like a slavering rapist who can't control himself. I do agree though that the "Christian" girl can't logically be a Christian and model in swimsuits at the same time. How she can justify that to herself is anyone's guess.

To the OP I would suggest you end the friendship. This girl sounds nuts and I can prove it; 1) she claims to be a Christian and yet is willing to strip off to model in a swimsuit, 2) she considers you to be the one lacking sexual morals, and not her. Ergo, she's a fruitcake with a heavy case of cognitive dissonance. Get her out of your life.

 

[MKJ]

Hard to say on the modeling.

As for wanting a chaperone: there are many reasons why your friend may have decided this is necessary, and theymay not be really personal. It could be that someone has pointed out to her that others could get the wrong idea, or she has had an experience that has made her think differently about being alone with members of the opposite sex.

I wouldn't worry about it, just be gracious. At some point she may tell you more clearly why she felt the need to change.

 

[Harry3142]

What are the ages of the two of you? Are you both adults? Are you still teenagers? Are you an adult while she is still a teenager? That all factors in.

As for her judgemental attitude, that concerns me. None of us are righteous in-and-of ourselves. That's why we needed to be rescued by God in the first place.

Our righteousness, if it is to be accepted by God as the righteousness that he demands, must come from him as a gift rather than from us as a salary. So no one has the right to tell anyone else, "You're not as good as I am," because the word 'good' simply does not apply to any of us in our natural state. You can find the Scripture telling of this in Romans 3:19 to 5:10, in case you want to look it up.

As for what we do, or don't do, as Christians, that must have as its impetus a correct mindset. We are to avoid acts and/or emotions such as sexual immorality, impurity, debauchery, idolatry, witchcraft, hatred, discord, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition, dissensions, factions, envy, drunkenness, orgies, and the like. But more than that, our mindset is to have as its impetus love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. These 9 emotions are the borders within which all our words and all our actions are to have their beginning. You can find this in Galatians 5:16-26, if you want to look it up.

And we have Jesus Christ himself to tell us how these emotions are to express themselves in the here-and-now, and it is not through judgementalism. It's through rolling up our sleeves and going to work. What did he himself do? He alleviated the suffering he found around him. He cured people of their afflications, he took pity on those who were scorned by the self-righteous as being 'marked by God'. And he told us to follow his example.

We are to alleviate suffering. We are to feed the hungry, clothe the naked, welcome the stranger, visit and care for the sick and imprisoned. We are to show the genuineness of our faith not through our piety, but instead through our practicality. This is found in Matthew 25:31-46 if you want to look it up.

The three passages I've referred you to (Romans 3:19 to 5:10, Galatians 5:16-26, and Matthew 25:31-46) are what I call a church's litmus test. If the church truly accepts all three passages as applying to us today even as they applied to the Christians of the 1st century, then that church can be considered as a safe and secure church home. But if a church tries to 'dance around' any of these passages, that church needs to be avoided (one of the favorite ways of dancing around a passage is when a church states that it 'believes in' performing the acts described in Matthew 25:31-46, but not actually performing those acts themsepves. Instead, they "pray that God sends someone else to perform the acts.").