Disconnected?

[chaoticfirefly]

I have to know if it's just me or not. Does anyone else feel disconnected from people and emotions? Like you're talking with someone or out with friends and can't truly connect with anyone or connect your emotions to the current situation?

Or even having disconnected thoughts of sorts and can't really stick with reality for long? I don't know how to explain that other than like
A-B-C-D
and it becomes
A-D-B-C
and then you're in any situation and reality just drifts away and you "lose touch"
until something like a noise or a feeling pulls you back? It could be a thought process or a daydream or a blackness but not actual passing out. And then not remembering much of anything but the situation is done?

Am I alone in this? Is this common in depression? I've been struggling with this for years and my psychologists don't understand it when I explain it...

 

[CBrowning84]

Do you mean like your mind drifts in and out, thinking about a lot of things in different directions? It's hard to tell by your description... could you describe in detail what it's like?

 

[Gailerina]

I think I understand, you are there physically but not mentally?

I have been out with friends, at work, or even at home but not feel there. It's a horrible feeling and is becoming worst for me.

You feel alone almost, as if you are in your own world with no way out.

 

[PlayWithFire]

I've struggled with disconnecting for a long time as well.

For me, I think it developed as a positive coping mechanism initially - to deal with the depression, anxiety, etc. I don't think I could find any way to handle extreme negative feelings without emotionally removing myself from it all. I can still 'choose' to disconnect, but at this point it is more commonly not a conscious choice. And whether or not I consciously chose to emotionally disconnect, I often am/feel completely unable to pull myself out of it (for hours/days/weeks/months depending).

I think it is a hard thing to explain to others. I have had professionals have no idea what I was talking about or tell me it was not possible because I was not "presenting" as disconnected (in my case, I typically appear happy and smiling/laughing while being entirely shut down emotionally.. it's sort of just an auto-pilot mask that goes along with it). However, I have also had other professionals - current therapist included - that have been helpful and pushed me to work on it more.

If you feel your current psychologist(s) are not helpful with this issue, maybe you could try finding a new one who is more open to working on it? I don't know if you have ever tried DBT (Dialectical Behavior Therapy), but there is a focus on Mindfulness (being present - essentially the opposite of disconnecting) that could be helpful?

 

[chaoticfirefly]

Do you mean like your mind drifts in and out, thinking about a lot of things in different directions? It's hard to tell by your description... could you describe in detail what it's like?

I don't know. Like I have a million thoughts all scrambled into one that sounds like a pitched static and screaming. And that I'm disconnected emotionally and mentally.

And I "blank" out and "wake up" when my brain starts screaming again or there's an outside noise. And whatever I was doing at the moment, if anything, is finished and don't remember doing.

 

[CBrowning84]

I don't know. Like I have a million thoughts all scrambled into one that sounds like a pitched static and screaming. And that I'm disconnected emotionally and mentally.

And I "blank" out and "wake up" when my brain starts screaming again or there's an outside noise. And whatever I was doing at the moment, if anything, is finished and don't remember doing.

I don't mean any offense by this question, and I want to be very careful in what I ask and say, but I noticed that by those symbols next to your avatar that you are an atheist? Can I ask what you're doing here on a Christian forum? Whatever your answer, we're glad you're here and you didn't come here by mistake, and I hope that you're intrigued and searching for the truth.

You said that you hear screaming and sounds... Do you also hear any voices? Maybe even thoughts that are seemingly pushed into your mind that you don't necessarily want or might confuse you?

How often does this happen? Are you doing or thinking anything in particular when it happens? Do you suffer from a lot of fears, worries, anxieties, or anything like that? Just trying to get as much information as I can

Also, do you believe in anything supernatural? Angels, demons, ghosts, etc? What are your thoughts on God/Jesus and heaven and hell? I know some atheists who believe in the possibility and some others who don't is why I ask.

 

[chaoticfirefly]

Gallerina-Yes
and
PlayWithFire-Yes. I used to see someone who was working on mindful stuff with me but he moved and during the entire time I felt "fake" and it made me feel really really suicidal because I felt even more disconnected. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't be "there". I felt like my skin was a prison.

CBrowning-I used to be. In fact, when I joined, I was a Christian. And no voices. Just noise. It happens at random times. I can't keep track. A lot of the times is when I'm out around people or at night.

And yes I do, I have social anxiety, with insomnia that even sleep aids can't help. My doctor can't find a good medication that helps it, and can't higher the medication otherwise it'd kill me.

Yes, I do believe in the supernatural. There is a possibility something exists, doubt it's loving. i believe in a form of an afterlife.

 

[CBrowning84]

Gallerina-Yes
and
PlayWithFire-Yes. I used to see someone who was working on mindful stuff with me but he moved and during the entire time I felt "fake" and it made me feel really really suicidal because I felt even more disconnected. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't be "there". I felt like my skin was a prison.

CBrowning-I used to be. In fact, when I joined, I was a Christian. And no voices. Just noise. It happens at random times. I can't keep track. A lot of the times is when I'm out around people or at night.

And yes I do, I have social anxiety, with insomnia that even sleep aids can't help. My doctor can't find a good medication that helps it, and can't higher the medication otherwise it'd kill me.

Yes, I do believe in the supernatural. There is a possibility something exists, doubt it's loving. i believe in a form of an afterlife.

I don't claim to know exactly the answer, but I sense that your problem isn't physical, (in your mind or skin or body, etc.) it's spiritual. We are spiritual beings, that's our true nature and who we are. We live IN a body, and posses a soul, or our mind/will/emotions. I believe the reason you feel disconnected is because the real you is somewhat disconnected from your body/soul in a sense. I believe that there are real forces out there, forces of fear, depression, etc. Demonic forces that affect us every day. I've felt them, and even seen them in dreams that were way too real to just be dreams. I've felt that disconnected feeling, that chaos in your mind that you feel like you can't even control your own thoughts as they race here and there. It's ONLY when I feed on Jesus and get in the presence of the Holy Spirit that things clear up for me. It's like a pressure in my head and once I take my "Jesus pill" (haha) things get clear.

It sounds like you are strongly oppressed, and I urge you to seek a spirit-filled minister in your area. God is real... I've felt His power fall on me so hard that I fell to the ground weeping and laughing at the same time as He took a huge burden off me and fixed my heart. He can and will do the same for you, I urge you to just seek Him

God loves you... He only wants the best for you, and if you seek Him you will find Him and He will help you.

Why do you think you're still on this forum? And why did I, who just joined a week ago, come to this part of the forum, and just happen to understand a little of how you're feeling and what you're going through? I don't believe it was a coincidence.

If you were ever truly a Christian and saved, you still are and you're still in right standing with God and forgiven of all you past, present, and future sins. And if not, it's never too late. And if there's any doubt that you were, know that He loves you and wants to be in relationship and fellowship with you and to help you. These aren't my own words, but the words of Christ inside me wanting you to come back. There's power in the Word and through His spirit that lives inside believers. And if you need proof... ask Him and He will show you and guide you.


I will be praying for you.

 

[Krissy Cakes]

Yes I understand and its a horrible feeling.

I'm praying for you.

 

[Criada]

I feel like that often - less often that I did at one time, but it is still there.
Praying for you