... disappointed? Confused.

[squigglemonster]

Please hear me out. I am confused and stressed and ... yeah, just a bad night so far.

My boyfriend walked in on me self-harming. I think he stood and watched me. He's never seen me doing it before, I don't think he knew. He does know about my ED.

I expected he would yell at me, or be concerned or anything. Anything other than what happened.

He shook his head and said "I'd better not catch you doing that again."

..... :o

All these emotions poured through me and I felt like screaming. I could pin-point one of them and it was...disappointment. I was disappointed. I'm not sure why. I didn't want him to see, I want to keep it secret. But a part of me was thinking "That was my way out." He was going to help me.

But ... nothing.

Am I wrong to feel this way? I'm so confused.

Thankyou for reading

 

[Bamboo_Chicken]

I PMed you Squiggle. You always know where to find me if you ever want to talk!

 

[Rabid_Rabbit]

Please hear me out. I am confused and stressed and ... yeah, just a bad night so far.

My boyfriend walked in on me self-harming. I think he stood and watched me. He's never seen me doing it before, I don't think he knew. He does know about my ED.

I expected he would yell at me, or be concerned or anything. Anything other than what happened.

He shook his head and said "I'd better not catch you doing that again."

..... :o

All these emotions poured through me and I felt like screaming. I could pin-point one of them and it was...disappointment. I was disappointed. I'm not sure why. I didn't want him to see, I want to keep it secret. But a part of me was thinking "That was my way out." He was going to help me.

But ... nothing.

Am I wrong to feel this way? I'm so confused.

Thankyou for reading

Awww, I'm so sorry he reacted in that way.
Maybe if he knew why you cut and the feelings behind it he would be more understanding.
You are not wrong to feel that way. If that had happened to me I would have probably felt the exact same way.

 

[Soulwings]

I'm sure he didn't know how else to react. The ways girls and guys react to things is totally different - I was going to ask you how you would react were your positions reversed. You could ask him for help; I'm sure he'd be more than willing to give it to you. He loves you. Talk to him about it, bring it up in conversation. I think that would be worthwhile.

You aren't wrong to feel that way, not wrong at all. I think I would too ...

 

[katylees]

Wow that must be a tough situation, i don't know what i'd do if someone walked in on me ..i think every emotion would run thru my head. As soulwings said ..try to bring it up in conversation .. sounds like he loves you and you love him a lot.. and therefore he'd wanna try and help you i guess?

Take care

 

[berry2000]

hugs squigglemonster. Yeah, if that were me I'd be pretty angry, disappointed, and sad. I would want him to show more emotion and try to help. The way he reacted was kind of like, well now I know so you better fix this or atleast not let me see it again. So sorry.

That being said, on thing I am learning, is that as much as I desparately want others to rescue me that is not realistic. Sure he could have been more compassionate, and empathictic, that is realistic. But he cannot get you out of this cycle. Only you can do that, and you can only do that with God's help.

I am so sorry...that situation happend though...yeah I'd be pretty messed up inside too. I think your reaction was totally normal.

 

[squigglemonster]

Thankyou for your replies guys.

I'm not sure what I was expecting from him. I mean, I wasn't expecting him to understand. I wasn't expecting a knight in shining armour. I wasn't expecting a hug and a kiss. I don't know what I wanted. But it was just a shock that he wouldn't care. Well maybe he did, but he was scared of showing it. I don't know.

He hasn't mentioned it since. I just feel bad because I let him find me. Well I didn't let him but I was careless. I wonder if he gave it a second thought.

 

[Bamboo_Chicken]

But it was just a shock that he wouldn't care. Well maybe he did, but he was scared of showing it. I don't know.

He hasn't mentioned it since. I just feel bad because I let him find me. Well I didn't let him but I was careless. I wonder if he gave it a second thought.

Squiggle, from what you've told me about your boyfriend I don't believe for a second that he wouldn't have cared. I don't doubt that he didn't know how to handle the situation but I can almost certainly tell you that he gave it a second thought. And a third and a fourth. I'm pretty sure he's still playing the moment over in his mind.

Seeing the person you love hurt themself doesn't generally give a person warm fuzzies inside. I think he hasn't mentioned it because he's taking his cue from you. He understands that you know more about SI than he does and he doesn't want to react in a way that will hurt you - even though that's what happened. You don't talk about your SI with him because of his reactions in the past and it's not really a conversation starter in the first place. He doesn't talk about it with you because, as confused as he may be, he doesn't want to hurt the person he loves by saying the wrong thing. As hard as it will be on both of you I believe that you should give him the chance to understand it. It would take so much strength and courage on your part, but I believe you have both of these qualities in abundance. I've seen them before.

for such a gorgeous girl.

Shalom,
Steffi

 

[Soulwings]

Squig. Why don't you ask him about it? That's the best way to lay wonderings aside - just find out the truth. I'm sure he cared, like I said... he just really hadn't a clue how to react.

 

[pockleberry]

He probably has thought about it I don't think it is possible to see someone you love hurting themselves and not think about it...If I was in his place I would probably want to ask why but maybe he's to scared.

I can kinda understand how you feel about him seeing you do it, someone walked in on me once and I was absolutely devastated...

 

[Mr.Cheese]

I'm sure he has no idea what to do. Most counselors don't know what to do with self-injury either.
If he cares he will learn about it and try to understand it more in order to provide you with positive assistance rather than making matters worse, even if his intentions are good.