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Direction

Discussion in 'Spiritual Formation & Disciplines' started by Alynn, Jun 2, 2020.

  1. Alynn

    Alynn New Member

    65
    +23
    United States
    Christian
    Single
    I have an ex that is currently living with me. I invited him to into my home just until he was able to get back on his feet. (which was a bad idea). He moved in November, I was expecting him to be there maybe about a month or two. But with his past rental history I should of known that it wasn't going to happen. I fell into sin with him and I was more convicted then he was. It actually didn't seem to bother him at all. I believe that I was held at a higher responsibility with the Lord then he was. I started backsliding and getting anger and smoking

    The Lord showed me the scripture Hebrews 10:26 and 6:4-6. My life has completely from that moment. From then on I began to manifest this hatred and resentment toward my ex. Logically and naturally speaking there would be no reason for me to hate him or have something against him. He is kind-hearted , put others before himself, he does not accept any help from anyone. I had to practically beg him to stay with me (I admit that I had absolutely NO RIGHT to take on such a huge responsibility. I wasn't ready. My heart was not in the right place and I had deceived myself thinking I was doing this for him but I was only feeding my flesh to feel better). He is a person that does not like to get into drama. But for some reason I don't like him I want nothing to do with him and I want him out of my life.

    What makes things a little bit more tense is he states that he is Christian and that he had been when we were dating which I found it really hard to believe because he doesn't show fruits of a Christ follower. and even when we were dating nothing showed (I was not a Christian then). He does things that are very contradictory to the Word and what a Christ follower should practice. '

    So in order to try and have a relationship with Jesus I believed that He told me to quit my job and leave my house to follow him. I told him and he believes that I am being selfish and egotistic. (Which he is right. A couple months after he moved him I became selfish and was getting anger at him for the most LITTLEST things) I could have told him better way then the way I did. I was just ready to "FOLLOW JESUS" .
    So I blame myself for inviting him into my home because I did not have right heart. My intentions may been good, but even my intentions are brought into questioning. Someone gave me advice and told me that I should have him move out. We are not married and he could possibly be hindering my walk with the Lord. Now I can kick him out. I would be happy too. But it still wouldn't help that I still have anger towards him.

    "Whoever says he is in the light and hates his brother is till in darkness. Whoever loves his brother abides in the light and in him there is no cause for stumbling. But whoever hates his brother is in the darkness and walks in the darkness, and does not know where he is going because the darkness has blinded his eyes" - 1John 1:9-11

    "If anyone says. "I Love God" and hates his brother, he is a liar; for he who does not love his brother whom he has seen cannot love God whom he has not seen." 1John 4:20

    This last month I concluded that I was a false convert. I'm still questioning my faith.

    I want to be free. I want to understand Christ sacrifice for me. I want to worship Jesus and Love him with all my heart. My heart feels detached from my mind. I cry and there is a deep yearning to do God's will but my heart feels dead. I wonder if I spiritually did die and there is nothing left for me to do but to wait for judgement. or if there is still hope for me to get right the God. I'm wrong on SO many levels. I know that I can NEVER do anything to inherit my salvation. but this is so depressing.

    Does anyone have any advice or been through this?
     
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  2. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

    ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) a social experiment!

    +5,780
    United States
    Christian
    Single
    Yeah, I've been thru similar things. And the word of the Lord was the same for me as it is for you: Repent. The Bible says that it's the kindness of God that leads anyone to repent. The fact that you have seen the error of your ways is goodness enough. Why wait?

    "Repent therefore, and turn back, that your sins may be blotted out, that times of refreshing may come from the presence of the Lord".

    God loves you.
     
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  3. Tone

    Tone Star Fish Radiant Supporter

    +3,950
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    In case you didn't see it ^.


    Also, Get busy marrying him or get busy not marrying him...if not, he's got to go a.s.a.p..
     
  4. d taylor

    d taylor Well-Known Member

    +990
    United States
    Protestant
    Single
    False convert, can only happen when a person does not understand how to receive Eternal Life and becomes a child of God.

    The way to receive Eternal Life is to believe that Jesus is The promised Messiah from the prophecies of The Tanakh and trust in The Messiah for the free gift of Gods Eternal life. onec a person does that they have Eternal Life never to lose their Eternal Life free gift from God.
    A persons salvation is dependent on Christ promised of life, not on any of your actions good or bad.

    But as a believer it is very wise to live a Christ centered life, or God may discipline you.
     
  5. Aussie Pete

    Aussie Pete Well-Known Member Supporter

    +3,826
    Australia
    Non-Denom
    Divorced
    Yes. It's hell on earth, I know. The answer lies at the foot of the cross. We need to get back to the cross and revisit what Christ won for us there. Lord Jesus said, "It is finished!" The salvation He bought for us is so good that even we can't mess it up.

    You have an issue with unforgiveness. You need to forgive yourself for letting yourself down and your ex for his perceived and real offences. The following article shows how you can get free. It's a principle that's worked for me many times and still does.

    Can you forgive from your heart? - Christian Life Frankston
     
  6. Alynn

    Alynn New Member

    65
    +23
    United States
    Christian
    Single

    So this is the part I feel makes me feel like a monster. He has nowhere else to go. If he does he'd probably be homeless. He left this past weekend and bbn I thought he actually left but he came back and it doesn't look like hes leaving. I dont like that I have this resentment towards him. I just want to live in the freedome of Christ
     
  7. Tone

    Tone Star Fish Radiant Supporter

    +3,950
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    So marry him.
     
  8. Alynn

    Alynn New Member

    65
    +23
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    Is there a scripture that's goes along with this?
     
  9. Tone

    Tone Star Fish Radiant Supporter

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    Non-Denom
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  10. Alynn

    Alynn New Member

    65
    +23
    United States
    Christian
    Single
    I dont think that would be a good idea...
     
  11. Alynn

    Alynn New Member

    65
    +23
    United States
    Christian
    Single
  12. Tone

    Tone Star Fish Radiant Supporter

    +3,950
    United States
    Non-Denom
    Private
  13. Tone

    Tone Star Fish Radiant Supporter

    +3,950
    United States
    Non-Denom
    Private

    Oh, sorry, that's what I thought you meant in the above ^ post.
     
  14. Alynn

    Alynn New Member

    65
    +23
    United States
    Christian
    Single

    Oh. I did. I was strongly convicted. I repented. And I've kept my distance.

    I was meditating. And I know that "I" am the problem. Not him. His word clearly states that if you hate your brother that you cant love God. God is love. I just dont think I can do it myself.
     
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