Difficult talking with theists!!

[undoing]

There are no rules other than common courtesy. I don't think you can broad brush all Christians this way. We're not all carbon copies of each other. Deal with each person on an individual basis. I have friends, family, co-workers, and other acquaintances who are atheists and agnostics. I overwhelmingly get along with most of them. (In fact, my favorite on-line acquaintance is an atheist who was banned not long after me from another message board a few years back. Trumped up unfairness to the both of us, I assure you. We used to keep up quite regularly.) Of course, sometimes discretion is the better part of valor. Depending on the person there are conversational topics that I know to avoid.

And no, lordbt, I don't mind.

So for you common courtesy is enough. You say not to make generalisations in the way I seem to be. This is a short coming I have to remove unfortunately. I haven't had much experience in conversating with christians since late primary school and since (what was an important) relationship fell apart recently, I'm attempting to break down my impressions of christian standards, code of conduct, etc. So in this respect, I thank you (all) sincerely for allowing me to recognise this for what it is an illadvised understanding of the whole.
I feel good about this. I hear you say where the "values" of some don't reflect those of the many just because they are from the same denomination. I think this will take some time for me though. Not for general broad catagories such as christianity as a whole, or catholocism, for example; but of the details which they differ, especially pentacostal/born-again christianity; I need to understand their ways better, but the site rules don't let me speak in there. Sure they say every post of mine is either contriversial, debating, or something other.

 

[theIdi0t]

Theists are extreemly trying, but I'm trying to learn how to deal with them, I need to learn more tollerance for their belief system. How do you tolerate, endure, and maintain relationships where "God" is constantly 'offered' for rationality?!

I don't really understand what your issue is. What are these conversation you're looking for that you can't have?

In my few years on internet forums, i find it to be fools errand looking for atheist who seek any sort of engaging discussion at all, but rather looking to troll. If that's not a portrait of you, than what exactly are you looking for here? What do you want to talk about that you believe theist don't take seriously? What discussions do you feel theist won't honestly have with you?

Claiming that some theist treat you badly doesn't really have much currency. There's over 2 billion of us, and we're bound to have some pricks as well.

 

[undoing]

I don't really understand what your issue is. What are these conversation you're looking for that you can't have?

I simply don't mingle at church gatherings and I appreciate the convenience of being able to get in touch with theists' in forum.

In my few years on internet forums, i find it to be fools errand looking for atheist who seek any sort of engaging discussion at all, but rather looking to troll. If that's not a portrait of you, than what exactly are you looking for here? What do you want to talk about that you believe theist don't take seriously? What discussions do you feel theist won't honestly have with you?

I'm not sure, but I think I'm hearing you making negative judgements about my intention/character.
You can find many of these answers in my previous posts.

Claiming that some theist treat you badly doesn't really have much currency. There's over 2 billion of us, and we're bound to have some pricks as well.

I'm developing a better understanding on this as I go.

 

[theIdi0t]

I'm not sure, but I think I'm hearing you making negative judgements about my intention/character.

Don't be silly. I don't know you enough to make a negative or positive judgement about you. I just don't get what exactly you're looking for. If there's something you're looking to have a discussion with a theist about, without being treated unkindly, but graciously, I'm all up for that. But is that what you are looking for?

 

[undoing]

Don't be silly. I don't know you enough to make a negative or positive judgement about you.

I think saying something like: "Don't be silly" is a negative judgement on my character. It basically says that my concerns were meanless and inferior to you.
I'm not having a dig at you, or saying that it upsets me. Just that I have my reasons for bringing it up, like in my previous post that you're refering to with this.

I just don't get what exactly you're looking for. If there's something you're looking to have a discussion with a theist about, without being treated unkindly, but graciously, I'm all up for that. But is that what you are looking for?

I should speak my mind, as you should too.

 

[ephraimanesti]

Truth is in the eye of the beholder.

MY DEAR BROTHER,

NO, absolute Truth is unchanging and not subject to subjectivity or equivocation and flows only from the heart of God.

Situational "truth," concocted by the human mind, is always a lie or, at best, a perverted distortion.

ABBA'S FOOL,
ephraim

 

[Hairy Tic]

Ok, so I'm less than inspired by the operation of this site. Firstly the ease of offense making. ie. no debate (disagreement, etc, etc); no posting personal comments, however nice, where those comments show a potentially unwanted perspective of that person to them.
What is it about getting along with christians that is so difficult?
I'm annoyed by the constant need for theists to talk about god. Not because I find "God" offensive, but because for all my patience and tireless efforts of respectful responding, and listening efforts seem to be for nothing once that person realises that I'm not convertable (to them), that my interest is in them as a person (and them where they aren't talking about "God", "Jesus", etc).
Does anyone know where another christian forum is where genuine discussion takes place that is not focussed on atheism as some sort of "Satanic movement", etc?

Theists are extreemly trying, but I'm trying to learn how to deal with them, I need to learn more tollerance for their belief system. How do you tolerate, endure, and maintain relationships where "God" is constantly 'offered' for rationality?!

## You might like theologyweb.com

 

[undoing]

Thanks, I'll have a look

 

[brinny]

Ok, so I'm less than inspired by the operation of this site. Firstly the ease of offense making. ie. no debate (disagreement, etc, etc); no posting personal comments, however nice, where those comments show a potentially unwanted perspective of that person to them.
What is it about getting along with christians that is so difficult?
I'm annoyed by the constant need for theists to talk about god. Not because I find "God" offensive, but because for all my patience and tireless efforts of respectful responding, and listening efforts seem to be for nothing once that person realises that I'm not convertable (to them), that my interest is in them as a person (and them where they aren't talking about "God", "Jesus", etc).
Does anyone know where another christian forum is where genuine discussion takes place that is not focussed on atheism as some sort of "Satanic movement", etc?

Theists are extreemly trying, but I'm trying to learn how to deal with them, I need to learn more tollerance for their belief system. How do you tolerate, endure, and maintain relationships where "God" is constantly 'offered' for rationality?!

Why did you seek out this site and then join it? You knew the site is a "Christian" site>

 

[undoing]

Is this a real question? I think I've explained myself in another question in my other thread.

 

[brinny]

Is this a real question? I think I've explained myself in another question in my other thread.

in the above post that i responded to you appear to be feeling chagrin that God is mentioned? You find it tiring to hear about God all the time?

Imagine that.

 

[undoing]

Ok, I think the reason for this is because occasionally I have the pleasure of being patient with people who have a foul attitude.

 

[MLEN]

Hi Undoing,

I was reading your post about why Christians always seem to talk about God.

Just as a note, it is quite difficult for a Christian to not have God and thoughts about God at the forefront of their mind. Although, having said this it is possible for a Christian to have general discussions with someone on topics which are not about God - but eventually He (God) will come back into the discussion.

I have friends who are non-Christians whom I chat with briefly, but once the chatter turns into long talks it is pretty well impossible (at least for me) to keep God out of the conversation. This is because with us Christians, He is at the very center of our beings. We just cannot separate ourselves from Him so easily.

Even if I do manage to have a long talk with you that is not focused around Him, I may often be thinking of Him in the context of what we may be talking about. It's kind of hard to explain so I apologize if it sounds a bit "out there".

However, having said that - I personally am not one who stops talking with a someone just because they may not seem "convertible". And I think there are probably other Christians who are the same as me.

 

[undoing]

Hi Undoing,

I was reading your post about why Christians always seem to talk about God.

Just as a note, it is quite difficult for a Christian to not have God and thoughts about God at the forefront of their mind. Although, having said this it is possible for a Christian to have general discussions with someone on topics which are not about God - but eventually He (God) will come back into the discussion.

I have friends who are non-Christians whom I chat with briefly, but once the chatter turns into long talks it is pretty well impossible (at least for me) to keep God out of the conversation. This is because with us Christians, He is at the very center of our beings. We just cannot separate ourselves from Him so easily.

Even if I do manage to have a long talk with you that is not focused around Him, I may often be thinking of Him in the context of what we may be talking about. It's kind of hard to explain so I apologize if it sounds a bit "out there".

However, having said that - I personally am not one who stops talking with a someone just because they may not seem "convertible". And I think there are probably other Christians who are the same as me.

I understand your response. Thankyou for being honest.

 

[daniel777]

they talk about God around you, and they treat you differently because your beliefs are taboo to them. they're acting as they feel they ought to act, not on how they think you ought to be treated. they seem detached and impersonal, but that's only because they don't really know how to behave around someone who identifies themselves as an atheist. they don't want to offend you by accident, so they aren't themselves, and they hide their feelings and bias.

but just because they hide themselves doesn't mean they're bad or hiding negative feelings. it's natural to assume a person is holding negative feelings towards you when they behave like that, but a lot of the time they're really not.

personally, i try not to do this. i'm tired of playing footsie with people. i try to be honest with myself and other people about what i think and why, and i don't get over emotional about it. instead i try to understand where they're coming from. i wouldn't intentionally try to offend someone just in order to offend them.

 

[undoing]

I understand you mean that it's a sensitive topic between people of different opinions and beliefs. While a nonbeliever wants to feel their independence is respected, so does a theist want their beliefs respected. In the mix of discussing it can seem like a struggle to assert one's own views. While either person mightn't harbour any animosity toward the other person there is this feeling of losing control of the conversation on an individual level, that each would like to communicate on their own terms.
I wonder how a conversation could work where differences in ideals tend to clash. Like you say, to relate properly a person should seek to understand the other person's point of view and not wrestle over who is right.

 

[MLEN]

personally, i try not to do this. i'm tired of playing footsie with people. i try to be honest with myself and other people about what i think and why, and i don't get over emotional about it. instead i try to understand where they're coming from. i wouldn't intentionally try to offend someone just in order to offend them.

Hi Daniel,

I concur with where you are coming from here. As there really is no reason to become offended solely because someone else does not share your train of thought or agree with you. We can only share what we believe to be truth and/or our personal convictions and experiences, after that it is between God and that person about what they will decide to do with the information they have acquired.

 

[Drewski]

I am an Atheist and have been since my early teens. I am however not militant and dont feel the need to challenge anyone's belief. Most of the people I know are unaware of my lack of belief, it's just easier that way and I have a good few Christian friends. I am simply true to myself in the belief departement and enjoy people.