Different churches

[Johnab12]

I go to a different church to my girlfriend. I know I have to make the decision myself ultimately but would like to ask for general advice.

She is trying to include me in her churches activities but wants to stay at her's; and I think we should go to the same one if we get married. But I'm afraid of creating distance by me doing separate activities at my church.

Should I cut down and gradually transition out or just wait until later and an appropriate cutting off point?

 

[somethingBEAUTIFUL]

Join one another occasionally, especially for special events if you feel inclined to do so. Every now and then consider "inviting yourself" to her church. She will love it, if she is anything like me. But I do not think you should totally transition to one or the other's church until at least engagement.

 

[Nerd Girl Supreme]

Do you two have major differences in belief or doctrine? What's the bottom-line reason for you going to different churches? Has she said she just WILL NOT go to your church? I mean if you're a Charismatic and she's Episcopalian, then yeah, I could see some potential conflict, lol.

I'd sit down with her and make a list of pro's and con's for both of your churches, for each of you. Figure out which church makes the most sense for both of you to attend, OR if you should just seek out a new one together. Nothing wrong with switching churches or looking for a new home church. We're ALL the same Body of Christ anyway My hubby and I went to separate churches until we married, then we both felt and agreed that we wanted to find a new home church because we were both at a very new and different place spiritually. And we love the place we found and totally feel God was in our move.

 

[Johnab12]

You didn't have any worries about disappointing people, leaving people?

 

[Nerd Girl Supreme]

You didn't have any worries about disappointing people, leaving people?

Not at all. I didn't announce that I was leaving. I didn't feel it was anyone's business at my previous church. I wasn't in a position of leadership or anything that would've required me to announce what I was doing. I still get emailed prayer requests from them, and still pray for them all the time. They were my family for many years, and they'll always be special to me. Like I said, we're all part of the same family and Body, you aren't part of a 'different' Body if you go to another church when you move or get married or whatever. Sometimes life (or God) calls you to another group. It's nothing to get bent out of shape over

 

[Stealth001]

I believe that a man should attend his wife's home church, unless otherwise determined by both parties. The reason I believe this is because of the following Scripture:

Genesis 2:24
Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.
​

Essentially, a man is to leave his family unit behind and cleave unto his wife. Her family hasn't lost a daughter... they've gained a son. And I see this as extending into our spiritual families as well.

But to each their own.

 

[Johnab12]

That's interesting thanks

 

[CounselorForChrist]

You can whatever church you like if you have the same doctrinal views. But I'd visit hers and then have her visit yours and see which the both of you like best. In the end if you are to marry her, its really up to you what church you go to. You are the spiritual leader in the house.