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Did You Wait?

Did You Wait Until Marriage?

  • Yes.

  • No.


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Darkhorse

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We were sexually active with each other for several years before we got married. Maybe I "should" regret it, but I don't. I knew early on that God had plans for us to be together, but I was very reluctant, having seen few happy married couples, and many unhappy married ones.

I had lots of growing up to do, and fortunately my wonderful lady stuck with me until I could trust her - and myself - to make a good marriage with each other. I don't think I would have attained that trust and confidence without her dedicated, loving gift of sexual passion. :)

Twenty joyful married years so far... :clap:
 
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TCat

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Wish I had, there are "ghosts" in my past that Satan sometimes tries to bring into our bedroom when we are sharing ourselves with each other. I hate that and have to pray against it.
If I could I would have waited and only shared myself with my DH. I wish I could have made that choice. I would advise anyone to save their viginity as a treasured gift to be offered to the one with whom they are promising before God to honor and commit their lives to.
 
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Macx

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I didn't wait. Not even slightly. I was never a virgin (in any practical sense), so I never had the choice to keep that. When I met my to be first wife, I chose to let her remain a virgin until we married . . figured I'd do it God's way. She ended up running off with a guy who had a deeper wallet.

Second go round, I met a woman with a past. She hadn't been sexual till she was in her 20's so it wasn't like me who'd been started a couple decades before that . . . but we could relate to having been experienced, used and abused on some level.

It is a good thing not everybody starts their sexual experiences before they can walk . . . . so I might not be the best example of typical. I will say I wish I could have waited & I was happy someone waited for me. Woulda been even happier if she hadn't slept around behind my back . . . but then I would have missed out on this absolutely fabulous wife and mother to my children. The best ya can is the best ya can.
 
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Conservativation

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TriptychR said:
sometimes I get the feeling that my odds of finding anyone as a virgin are ridiculously low. QUOTE]
That is just not accurate. I know a great deal of people who waited and are still waiting. My husband and I were virgins as well. I am SO SO grateful that I waited for my husband, there is nothing greater than being with someone in marriage and knowing that person is your only. Premarital sex will never give that same fulfillment, ever. Yes it may physically feel good and create an emotional attachment but that is nothing like the bond between a husband and wife.

I would also like to add that those who have chosen premarital sex before they marry have a higher divorce rate so that alone should tell you something.


I dont see how this refutes his concern that it will be harder to find someone thats a virgin.

You made a good case for waiting, but the comment you responded to was that he expected a hard time finding one. YOU knowing people that waited, means those people are all now married. Im not sure how that ups his chances.

Just sayin
 
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i might be in the minority here, but i didn't wait and i don't regret it. before you start looking for my religion icon, hear me out:

my husband is the only person that i've ever been with. we DID wait until after we were engaged to have sex, just not until after the actual ceremony. and it wasn't a "heat of the moment" thing, it was something that we both talked about at length and thought about for a long time before we did it.

looking back, it was pretty painful the first time, and the next time, and the next... and i'm just glad that i didn't have to go through that on my wedding night, when i wanted to be enjoying sex.

i'm not at all advocating sex before marriage, but for me, i did not wait and if i had to do it over again, i would make the same decision.


I never ever ever thought there would be another woman out there who has gone through the same exact thing at me, but alas, here you are! We waited until we were engaged and then started fooling around. It took months to even fully make it 100% because it HURT so much. I cried and bled every time. And in that aspect, I'm happy I got to enjoy my wedding night. If we hadn't have waited, we wouldn't have been able to consummate it for literally weeks and it would have been so depressing...


On the other hand, I cannot deny it was wrong and still justify it. Wrong is wrong. I should have waited. Our wedding night is ONLY one night, and we have the rest of our lives to enjoy sex, what's the rush you know? Yes you want your wedding night to be a fairy tale, but sometimes it isn't always like that. I shouldn't have sacrificed my moral conscious and God's laws for my own pleasure, which is essentially what I did. I don't regret it, but at the same time I do.

To continue about the topic, I was not my husbands first, like he was mine. It's actually come up in bad arguments that we've had where he was rubbed it in my face the girls he was been with. It's one thing I will always struggle with and feel insecure about. I've forgiven him, but it also hurts so so much. I really cant describe it. It may sound stupid, but it feels like he personally cheated on me because he didn't wait and find it important like I did. He's expressed regret about it and said he should have waited, but there's nothing I can do to get the image out of my head that other girls have seen him in that way besides me.
 
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Forgotten

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i might be in the minority here, but i didn't wait and i don't regret it. before you start looking for my religion icon, hear me out:

my husband is the only person that i've ever been with. we DID wait until after we were engaged to have sex, just not until after the actual ceremony. and it wasn't a "heat of the moment" thing, it was something that we both talked about at length and thought about for a long time before we did it.

looking back, it was pretty painful the first time, and the next time, and the next... and i'm just glad that i didn't have to go through that on my wedding night, when i wanted to be enjoying sex.

i'm not at all advocating sex before marriage, but for me, i did not wait and if i had to do it over again, i would make the same decision.

Well, you are right.
I did go looking for your religious icon.
Because, it is clearly stated in God's Word that marriage is for after you have been joined together in matrimony.
Please, do not think that I am attacking you.
But, the way you worded that, it is hard to consider that you are very far into your faith, or into His Word if you blatantly ignore that part of God's commands for us. It seems rather selective.
And that fact that you thought about it long and hard, and were engaged beforehand sounds like an excuse and in the long run, that doesn't make it okay in God's eyes.

Just a thought.

<3
 
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pwfaith

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Didn't wait but both of us wish we had. I think out society pushes it a LOT today. It's everywhere. Plus people are waiting longer to get married which makes the temptations worse and harder to resist, impo. We dated less than a year before we got married. One of our reasons for our quick engagement was b/c of 1 Cor that says it's better to marry than burn with passion. We knew very early on that this was it and we were going to get married, knowing that, combined with pasts of both of us of a sexual nature with other people, made it that much harder to wait til the day we knew was coming.
 
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