Did You Wait?

[erin74]

Oh yeah - and I knew a couple who didn't even kiss til they finished their vows. it was an amazing wedding to be at, and the guests had them kissing all afternoon!

I know she had been engaged before, but both were virgins.

Itwas a very romantic wedding, and I know they were glad they waited.

 

[ChildByGrace]

I didn't wait but i wish i had. I was a Christian and i was engaged so i thought that would be ok and we were getting married - we broke up. My next boyfriend i really struggled with the issue but came to the conclusion that i'd done it before so why bother not doing it!!!!!

When i met my now dh he was still a vigan and it was a big issue for him. We tried to be good but didn't quite manage to save ourselves.

It's all had a huge impact on our marriage (we got married May 04) and i have only just got to the point where i don't feel guity having sex with my dh!!!

I'm very glad that my dh was a vigan and am gutted that i didn't save myself for him.

 

[zoziw]

I am doing this to honor God. I just sometimes get the selfish feeling that nothing's coming of it. I've had only one girlfriend in my life, and that was over four years ago. All that time and I have yet to find anyone to even come to a real consideration of being with; sometimes it feels like it'll never happen. Like waiting for rain in a desert.

When I was 21 I felt pretty much the same. I just decided to enjoy life and not worry about finding "the right woman". About a year later I met my wife-to-be but I wasn't actually looking at the time.

I know this sort of emo junk gets thrown around all the time, especially on the Singles Forum, so I didn't want to mention it here. But that's pretty much my reasoning. And I know the advice: be patient, trust in the Lord, He will provide when the time is right. But I'm looking to see how often the ideal marriage really does play out.

I have been married 8 years and consider my marriage to be ideal. That doesn't mean we don't have our ups and downs, only that we love each other too much to allow the downs to become gaps in our relationship.

There are a lot of factors that go into a successful marriage...probably too many to put into a post.

 

[invisiblebabe]

That is awesome.

I did not but my wife did. I really wish I had. Sin has its consequences even if we are forgiven. I don't know if others can relate to this but because my wife waited she has some kind of connection to me that is very strong I still have it for her but it is not nearly as strong as hers. I have heard others say the same thing about their marriages when one did not wait.

My husband, sadly, did not wait, and I did.... but what you say about the connection, it's completely different for us. It's extremely strong on both of our ends, but actually I'd say if one end is less strong, it's mine...

 

[TriptychR]

It's extremely strong on both of our ends, but actually I'd say if one end is less strong, it's mine...

Is that related to your sexual status with each other?

 

[invisiblebabe]

Is that related to your sexual status with each other?

Probably at least somewhat, yeah.... although there are other factors, including the fact that I have bipolar.

 

[yeehawyahway]

I am so glad I waited. Sex within the covanent of marriage is how God designed sex to be enjoyed. There is nothing better then on your wedding night knowing that your marriage and act os sex is pleasing to the Lord. No matter when a couple has sex the Lord is right there. He knows, and he is either pleased or displeased. God designed sex for marriage, it is a beautiful reward!
There is so much more I have to say on this topic. Committing to wait definitally has been a huge area of worship and growth in my realtionship with the Lord and with my Husband. Denying the flesh will always have great benifits in the end.

 

[RooMama]

My husband and I were both virgins when we married and we were both 29 years old. That's a lot of waiting.

 

[Maeyken]

My fiance and I are both virgins, and we're waiting until we're married. I'm 23 and he's 31. Waiting is definitely not easy, but we're going to make it. (we're getting married in June)

 

[Quantum_Man]

My fiancee are currently in the waiting phase. Hopefully it will remain that way until we are married next year or so.

 

[satrunstar]

Yes but my husband didn't

 

[elm0]

I am doing this to honor God. I just sometimes get the selfish feeling that nothing's coming of it. I've had only one girlfriend in my life, and that was over four years ago. All that time and I have yet to find anyone to even come to a real consideration of being with; sometimes it feels like it'll never happen. Like waiting for rain in a desert.

I know this sort of emo junk gets thrown around all the time, especially on the Singles Forum, so I didn't want to mention it here. But that's pretty much my reasoning. And I know the advice: be patient, trust in the Lord, He will provide when the time is right. But I'm looking to see how often the ideal marriage really does play out.

Hi TriptychR, I can understand your thoughts and feelings on this. I was once there too. At age 21 I'd only had one girlfriend, and most of my friends were either engaged, or in serious relationships, it was really frustrating for me. I heard all the cliches too, I got sick of hearing things like "be patient, God's got the right girl picked out for you, you just aren't ready for each other yet." But now that I look back at everything in between, they were right.

I was 27 before I met the wonderful woman I'm now married to. In that 6 years I was tempted quite a few times, I even found myself thinking I wasn't likely to marry a virgin, so why should I bother waiting. The answer I came up with... because it's pleasing to God, and that's something I want to do.

 

[VHOLLOWAY]

i was a mom before i ever got married and i wish i would have waited now i cant have kids with my huband due to complications and things he wants a child and i want a little girl.

 

[agyevesam]

Yes, we did! I don't know if I regret it or not. My husband was my first, but he was divorced, so I wasn't his. I know it is different for everyone, but it was quite painful for a while. I know I enjoyed my honeymoon alot more b/c of NOT waiting. But sometimes I wish we had waited. I guess it is something you have to figure out for yourself.

 

[Wugster]

Yes both me and my husband waited and I am glad we did.

 

[firestar]

No we didn't wait. He was actually my first, I was not his first. I wish we had waited as a couple and that he had waited as an individual.

 

[blessedhusband]

I am a single virgin who wants to wait until marriage to have sex. However, when I look at married people's urgings for singles to remain celibate, it seems their reasons are a lot less of "I was so happy that I waited!" than "Don't make the same mistake I did."

Does virgin marriage realistically exist anymore, or is it too much of a rarity? I'm not asking this to look for an excuse to go off and have sex before marriage, but sometimes I get the feeling that my odds of finding anyone as a virgin are ridiculously low. I feel like the longer I go, the more women my age make the decision to lose their virginity. Once that happens, who wants to be with someone who wants to wait? It's either too lame or too shameful.

So really, what's the score out there?

In my mind, it is not a question of whether or not virgin marriages exist anymore or not. It is a matter of your obedience to the Lord. Do not worry about what other people decide, you need to make that choice to obey or disobey. I think there are to many christians who claim to love the Lord and are using His grace as a license to fulfill the lust of their flesh.

 

[4square]

I waited and Im glad I did. I would highly recommend it and commend you for it.

- Chris.

 

[Beth1231]

Wow, TriptychR
You are getting some incredible truth from this thread. I have enjoyed reading it.
I was a virgin and my husband was not. I can understand your fear of the unknown. "Will I marry a virgin?" "Will they compare me?" "Will it wreck our marriage", etc etc. Listen, the forgiveness and grace that Jesus gives when we ask is just absolutely amazing. Not only was my husband healed, but God gave me all the grace I needed (and unconditional love) to throw the knowledge of his past into the deepest sea and hang up the "no fishing" sign. No fishing means it doesn't affect our sex life, our friendship or our marriage. We have been married for ten months tomorrow and it is far better and more ideal than I ever would have thought possible. Please keep keeping on! Your future wife will be incredibly blessed regardless of her past. I know my husband was and is and will continue to be

 

[Billy Batson]

nope, didn't wait; hell, we didn't even know each other more than a day and a half. but the prospects of an actual relationship are there and who knows. would i marry her tomorrow? in a heart beat. will i regret it later and i marry someone? no.