Did I do the right thing?

[appleofhiseye]

Today,my 5 year old son and his 5 year old neighbor friend, were in my laundry room and started my washer.
This kind of upset me, i don't know why, maybe because I was worried they might get hurt or hurt my washer.

Well,anyway, I couldn't get a straight answer from either one as to who started the washer, who's Idea was that etc. So I sent his friend home, and told my son he couldn't leave the house for the rest of the day.


Well, of course, My neighbor called(Mother of my son's friend) and wanted to know what her son did wrong, Well in all honesty I didn't know if he actually did anything wrong! But, i just said what i thought had happened and that my son isn't allowed out to play for the rest of the day.

Now i hope that doesn't cause problems and I'm worried I might have offended her. and that i might have unjustly punished someone. IOW I am feeling guilty.

What do you all think I should have done?

 

[GolfingMom]

I would have done the same. When my children are playing with others and can't answer me on who did what...I take them away from the play area...
There have been times when I've sent kids back to their parents...I just let the parents know that I couldn't get a straight answer on what happened so he/she isn't allowed to play for the rest of the day.
I would be concerned about the washer - not so much about the washer getting damaged/etc. but they could have turned on the water and fallen in and well...I'll leave the rest up to you...

 

[andiesmama]

You handled it well IMO.....I'm sure the other mom wasn't angry, she just wanted to know what was going on (I bet she couldn't get a straight answer from her son, either! ) Just like if YOUR son was sent home, I'm sure you'd want to hear from the other mom what had happened.

Hopefully your son will use this as a learning experience, not to try to pull one over on mom!

 

[appleofhiseye]

Thanks, I feel better now. lol

No harm came from them starting the washer, nothing bad happened, so i thought maybe I was overreacting.

the trouble is my laundry room is right next to their playroom, and there's no door. (we're still remodeling).

My son usually doesn't go in there when he's playing alone or with his sister, It just seems he gets "braver" when his friend is over.

I tried gates, but he's 5 and can easily get around that if he want to. Oh well.

 

[~Mrs. A2J~]

I would have done the same thing. I think you handled the situation well.

 

[Neenie1]

Our laundry is off limits.

I guess you will have the same rule when the house is fixed up. Youre so lucky to have a playroom. We just have a loungeroom, and the kids have their own room but they are small so they don't play in there.

I think you did the right thing.

I think the reason your son gets braver when his friend is over is because maybe they show off to each other. I know that I used to do that as a kid.

 

[bliz]

Weeeelllllll..... I think you overreacted. A simple "Boys, please leave the laundry room and do not go back in there." as you turn off the washer would have been sufficent.

After his friend has gone home you could re-discuss with him that the laundry is off limits unless he is with you and that if there are future problems, he will not be permitted to have friends over. No fussing, just the facts.

Did it really make any difference which one of them actually turned the knob? You know they were both in on it. Don't ask if it doesn't matter. Placing blame in this kind of situation is not necessary or helpful, and it creates an opportunity for your son to lie to you.

Just MHO - I always tried to avoid making the small issues big issues becasue what can you do then when you have a really big issue?

 

[Addicted2~Jesus]

Naw I don't think you over reacted at all, I'd probly done much more in the same place. It is important to me that children, er anyone for that matter own up to thier own mistakes. I think it is important for the boys to accept responisiblty for what both er one of em has done.

Not only does it breed honor in acceptin your short comins, it also breeds comradery between the two boys, one to stick up for the other etc if only one boy was at fault in that. The fact you couldn't find out from em would raise some eyebrows for me. If my child er the one he was hangin round wit wasn't goin to be honest wit me an tell me how/what/where/when then I'd really start watchin over his shoulder a bit. I think it would be a trust violation, regardless how small.

I understand the pickin your battles, but I think in this situation that it has the potential to become esculated into sumthin further down the line if not nipped in the bud.

I support what you did an think you was right on the mark. I'd add to your son though, that if he an this other boy are goin to git into trouble an not tell the truth then he jes cain't come over etc.

 

[Stan53]

What do you all think I should have done?

I would have done exactly as you did. If you can't get an answer from the culprits you have no option. As to over reacting? No, I don't think so.

 

[zoziw]

Add me to the list of those who agree you took the right action.

Playing around with appliances can be dangerous, I don't think you overreacted.

 

[ChristusG]

I think you reacted well!

 

[charligirl]

I agree with Bliz in that you probably shouldn't have asked in the first place and just escorted them from the laundry room with a warning not to go back in there - if they disobeyed that then send the friend home.

But as you did ask and they refused to answer you took the right course of action for that situation.

 

[Cright]

The first thing I would have done is sit them both down, explain to them that they're not allowed to touch your appliances. Let them know that they are tools not toys. That they could get hurt, and how.

At 5 years old they should be able to fully comprehend that it could be a danger to them and leave it alone.

If they didn't then punishments would come in. If they were trying to stick wire hangers in electrical outlets I'd have a huge fit and neighbor kid would go home and my kid to his room.

Even though I'd do it different, doesn't mean you were wrong.

 

[sioleabha]

I might have done the same thing. I can understand feeling like your kid is "braver" with his friend around. My daughter has had her cousin over a lot lately, and I was on the verge of saying she can't come back until Anna learns that having someone over does not equal excuse to disobey.

I probably wouldn't have cared whose idea it was to turn the washer on. They both did it. Just like if my sons decide to get into the bread & honey like they did this morning, all three of them got a whipping because it doesn't matter who actually got into the kitchen. They all were in on it. And I'd have no problem cutting off playtime for a child who decided to play with the washing machine. A 5 year old should know better -- heck by 5 my oldest was doing laundry, and she KNEW the washer was NOT a toy.

 

[wendy41899]

What do you all think I should have done?

I think you handled it right. I don't think it matters so much as who did it, but as others have said they were both in on it. If you had just told them no and let it go they may have done it again, and maybe wouldn't have had as good of an outcome next time!

As far as the kids mom calling, I would just explain what happened and that you don't know who did it, but that you wanted to make a point that it's not okay, and someone could get hurt. As a parent they should understand that as well. She could have just been checking to make sure she didn't need to have a talk with her son, or something, but I wouldn't let that bother you.

As for the guilt, I always feel guilty, even if I know I am right, seen what happened, ect.

 

[Linnis]

Falling into a washer that's going can kill a small child. Even if you have one that stops moving, they can still drownd before someone can come get them out.

I think you handled it well. If the mother acts offended tell you that you needed to stress to both children that whoever started it, it's dangerous and won't be tolerated.

 

[lin1235]

I think you did well. I also may not have stopped the playtime, but that is entirely up to you and your rules. The main thing is that your son should understand that the laundry can be dangerous - and at 5 he should be able to understand that.

As for the other mom calling, I agree absolutely that she probably just wanted the facts straight. If my kid came home early from a friend because the friend's mom sent him home, I would definitely like to know why, esp if he did something wrong there I'd like to apologise and make amends if necessary.