Did getting married make you happy?

[Far Side Of the Moon]

30 years here and sliding down the volcano!

Lol

 

[Goatee]

Lol

Very true! Marriage is over. Only here for our child.

 

[Bible Highlighter]

Some people in church told me there was someone out there for me. I know at my current state ...I'm not ready..so I know I need to get myself together...at the same time.. I want someone that isn't completely perfect..I have depression and anxiety and I just want someone who understands.

Jesus can heal you of depression and anxiety. Ask Him every day to heal you on these two things. It may take a very long time, or it may be right away. Wait upon the Lord and trust in Him and His timing to heal you. If you are not ready for your soul mate, then praying for Him to come into your life in the Lord's timing is the best option. God is the Master at timing things perfectly.


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[Bible Highlighter]

Right. Sometimes I love being just by myself then there are times I just want to be alone... So if it happens, which I hope for..because being in love is good for your health,great..if not great.

I can relate. But God was good to me and did bring someone special into my life and it was better than I could have ever imagined. God is good. I will pray for you to find that special someone when the timing is right (so that you might share in the joy that I currently have). For when you find that special someone, it is like you feel like you are more complete or whole with that other person. For it is writtten, "...the two shall become one flesh." (Ephesians 5:31).


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[Far Side Of the Moon]

Very true! Marriage is over. Only here for our child.

I'm sorry. Its just the way you worded it that made it a bit funny...I do wish the best for you guys

 

[Goatee]

I'm sorry. Its just the way you worded it that made it a bit funny...I do wish the best for you guys

Cheers but wife confirmed this very evening that it is over..............

 

[Far Side Of the Moon]

I can relate. But God was good to me and did bring someone special into my life and it was better than I could have ever imagined. God is good. I will pray for you to find that special someone when the timing is right (so that you might share in the joy that I currently have). For when you find that special someone, it is like you feel like you are more complete or whole with that other person. For it is writtten, "...the two shall become one flesh." (Ephesians 5:31).


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Thanks man. Hope he's good to m3 too.

 

[Far Side Of the Moon]

Cheers but wife confirmed this very evening that it is over..............

Aw man, I'm so sorry, I pray god gives you strength to get through this trying season of your life. Hey, at least you have your baby

 

[Goatee]

Aw man, I'm so sorry, I pray god gives you strength to get through this trying season of your life. Hey, at least you have your baby

Thanks. We still living together but no idea for how long

 

[dayhiker]

I was happy before I got married. Marriage added new aspects to that happiness. Now divorced I'm finding even more reasons and ways to be happy.

 

[Larniavc]

I know the obvious answer would be yeah..but I always feel..like if I had someone to share my life with that would make me happy...to not be alone again..

But sometimes I have my doubts..like would I be happy being joined to the hip with my mate....have I been alone to long to really be able to even connect with said person? Am I just better off alone?

Sometimes I'm not sure, but I think the positive benefits far outweigh the trials that's to be expected when you grow with a person...

So I just wanted to know..did being married make you a happier person prior to being married?
(( you can stop here if you like, ill just be rambling below ))
_______________________
Also I know someone will bring this up, but I don't believe you have to love yourself in order for someone else to love you...and here's why. I had a friend who literally hated himself, I heard him go on rants about himself and almost committed suicide...but he still found love and his gf helped him to love himself more then he already did... So I think that statement is false.

Now that's not to say people are obliged to take you and accept you at your worst..people who do are very rare and imo are the definition of unconditional love because the person didn't have to sort and unpack their baggage to get with them.....but I feel the whole notion of loving yourself should be done for you and you alone.
Not to attract a mate or even friends.,,because as I stated,real friends or a real mate wouldn't require you to be completely perfect.

But I also feel that no one person should be loaded with someone else's issues, so out of courtesy to your person of interest... I think it'd be easier all the way around to just work on yourself...but I still think true friends or even a lover don't require you to be perfect and would help you along....

Lastly, with all this said...even if you have all your T's crossed and i's dotted, that doesn't guarantee a mate. I've talked to girls who are sweet, have a degree,friends and their own place and still haven't found a boyfriend... Same for guys...

I personally feel that most times, when it comes to being married...I feel it has to be meant for you, the stars have to be aligned,fate,destiny ( whatever you want to call it)) because I've seen people who have nothing to offer ..not even a ged and a job get married to a quality mate...and p3ople who had it all together struggle to find love...

So sometimes I feel there's no clear cut method to find love ...which is why I say that statement, "you have to love yourself before others love you" isn't necessarily true..

Because loving yourself and having your act together won't guarantee love...but its still beneficial..because the people who love unconditionally like I listed above are rare..and imo..meant to be with those who are truly suffering... But yeah , I think the reason why loving yourself is so beneficial is because...

No one will do it for you, doing it doesn't guarantee a mate but it will improve yourself esteem and give you a better outlook on life,,,thats what loving yourself does..

Okay my mini novel is complete.... If you disagree that's okay, is just love a thorough discussion and examples provided like I did with my friend..below. Oh and don't forget the original question xD, I know I've been going on...but basically it was , was ( Did getting married make you happy? Happier than you were being single?)

Very happy.

Happier every day.

I'm far happier than I was when I did not know her.

 

[St_Worm2]

Hi Far Side, I will be married 29 years this August 6th (and will have known my wife for 30 years this May). My marriage has been a wonderful thing from the start, so yes, I am very much happier with my wife than I believe I ever could have been w/o her

I come from a broken home, my father being a severe alcoholic and womanizer, so I have definitely seen the downside (ugly-side ) of marriage as well. In fact, because of what I grew up witnessing, I wanted nothing to do with marriage (until I became a Christian at age 30 that is, and was blessed to be part of a church where I got to see marriages that worked the way God intended them to, so I began to think that marriage might be a good idea after all).

And not long after that, I met my wife

 

[OK Jeff]

Many good responses here. I've enjoyed reading them. The answer for me...no. Marriage did not make me happy. I was still the same miserable, unhappy, impossible to please jerk I had always been. I got out of the bottle and in The Word and my life began to change. My marriage has grown into what it's supposed to be, and I am truly happy. Even during conflict with my wife, I wouldn't trade it for anything. But it was/is God who made me happy. My marriage is reaping the benefits.

 

[evoeth]

Marriage will not make you happier. I am still an irrascible cynic who complains more than he should. But it can make you more stable, less lonely, and prone to better habits. Which could make you happier. It's made me happier. And life has been much easier with a partner, IMO.

10 years in may.

 

[Poppyseed78]

I've been married for almost 7 years. Many parts of marriage do make me happy, but marriage doesn't change who you are. Whatever problems or flaws you have prior to marriage don't magically get fixed simply by being married. If you look to someone else to fulfill you, you are creating an impossible expectation and setting yourself up for disappointment. Only God can heal us and fulfill us.

I'm very grateful for my husband, and happy to be with him - I can't imagine life without him - but I still have issues. I have chronic pain and some trauma to deal with from the past. While my husband is supportive and loving, he can't erase my burdens, and I don't expect him to. We have grown together over the years, in our faith and our commitment to each other. Marriage is a blessing, but it does require work and dedication.

 

[mina]

I had a pretty good life as a single. I was generally happy. But, life with my husband has made me happier probably. I'd say I enjoy life a lot more. I'm a pretty private person, so finding someone I can be myself with and share freely with and trust has made me happier. That's not saying that all marriages make people happier; I think finding the right person does though.

 

[OceanPoet87]

No. I was happy as a single because I knew thats what God had for me in that moment. I wasn't sure if I wanted to get married. As a newer Christian, I was able to grow in my understanding & faith first before looking for a girlfriend let alone a wife. When she finally came along, I wasnt even looking and neither was she. We have been married for almost three years too, just like @Wolf. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE LOVE LOVE my wife and was so happy to see her after she came back from a womens retreat this weekend, but being married brings unpleasant situations too. There are areas that are open only to singles (some types of missions, greater ability to move, and more time to serve your church/community) and others that are benefited by becoming married. So I'm daily thankful for my wife, but I don't depend on her to make me happy.

 

[anewday]

No, I was much happier single, but I married someone horribly wrong for me. It is what it is.

 

[evoeth]

No, I was much happier single, but I married someone horribly wrong for me. It is what it is.

I don't really understand your response in light of this post in your post history:
Is there anyone here happily married?

What's the explanation, if you don't mind?

 

[anewday]

I don't really understand your response in light of this post in your post history:
Is there anyone here happily married?

What's the explanation, if you don't mind?

Some things came to light recently (as well as ongoing) that has caused me to take a step back and re-evaluate our entire marriage. I don't want to go into detail here, but I have a thread about it in the Separation part of the Marriage Forum.