I'm all for career over a significant other. Don't mold yourself to become some "ideal" like a bad a** or macho man. You're right, that would be a waste of time.
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explodingboy
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What is it with the terrible advice?
I mean honestly do you actually hold these macho ideals in real life? because the way you present them here, I almost feel sorry for your wife.
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I never said anything about being macho or obnoxious, women want security and if you are a flake you wont attract women, carrer success and personal motivation/aspiration is what you should strive towards. Have your own car, condo/nice apt some money for a date and know what you want, if you are living with your parents and taking a bus dating life is going to be impossible. You dont have to grow out your hair and buy a harley but you need to be somewhat manly. Most women dont want metrosexual men, even thought thats what society seems to condition men to these day.
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Fire for God
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Well that's one way of thinking.
The only way to find out is to do a survey.
I mean look at it this way, OP says that career>women. Discerning women dig that, like JesusSaved. By induction, surely some other women who will cross paths with OP in future will dig that too. And yay, he'll have gotten a discerning girl for himself, enough to put his friend and stolen girlfriend to shame. I bet they've broken up by now.
But that being said, I understand what you mean. Regardless of what your values are, women want a man that is strong. Head of the household/leadership/ etc. The girl can't be the center of your life. That's not a problem for some people I know, since they put God first, then significant other second.
Most macho guys put themselves first, then the girl second. Due to the inability to find a guy who doesn't put her first, the girl sticks to him. Not a good choice, but it's a common one.
The only way to find out is to do a survey.
I mean look at it this way, OP says that career>women. Discerning women dig that, like JesusSaved. By induction, surely some other women who will cross paths with OP in future will dig that too. And yay, he'll have gotten a discerning girl for himself, enough to put his friend and stolen girlfriend to shame. I bet they've broken up by now.
But that being said, I understand what you mean. Regardless of what your values are, women want a man that is strong. Head of the household/leadership/ etc. The girl can't be the center of your life. That's not a problem for some people I know, since they put God first, then significant other second.
Most macho guys put themselves first, then the girl second. Due to the inability to find a guy who doesn't put her first, the girl sticks to him. Not a good choice, but it's a common one.
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Please, try not to think of them. You have more important things to focuss on. (career, life goals, ect.)
Ever consider getting a pet? If you don't already have one that is. They can be alot more loyal than girls (or in my case guys) they don't judge you, love you unconditionally, ect. Sometimes companions are better when they have fur.
Just don't get one that looks like this. It's a little creepy..
Ever consider getting a pet? If you don't already have one that is. They can be alot more loyal than girls (or in my case guys) they don't judge you, love you unconditionally, ect. Sometimes companions are better when they have fur.
Just don't get one that looks like this. It's a little creepy..
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NotTooImportant
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Much easier said than done. I didn't want to stoop to this level, but I may have to rid my own best friend, and probably unfriend his girl on facebook. I know that doesn't sound like much, but it'd probably be real personal to her. I don't want to see her face again, I don't want to hear her name, I want my world and hers to never EVER intersect again. I say that with 100% pure grave seriousness.
Chances are, I won't end myself, but I still think everything would be better if I was never here in the first place or was killed off by a third-party force. I don't regret thinking this. I kinda hate women btw, they make themselves a mystery that I don't have time to... "solve".
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Fire for God
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Ops, bad bet 
Anyway, have you considered women that are not mysterious? I think there are women out there who are simple and faithful. I don't know, where to find them though. Sorry for not being much of a help heh.
I think your choice to separate yourself from her is a good one. You can carve your own life out from there.
Also, Isambard is right about self-confidence being an issue. Don't have to act all macho though, you can use other vehicles like getting a job and excelling in it.
Anyway, have you considered women that are not mysterious? I think there are women out there who are simple and faithful. I don't know, where to find them though.
Sorry for not being much of a help heh.I think your choice to separate yourself from her is a good one. You can carve your own life out from there.
Also, Isambard is right about self-confidence being an issue. Don't have to act all macho though, you can use other vehicles like getting a job and excelling in it.
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Yeah, you maybe should let the friend go. I assume he knows how you feel, in which case he's a worthless friend anyway. I think it would help you move on.
Hey, not every women is bad! I wouldn't say that we are mysterious as a whole. We each have different personalties, wants, ect. Some of us are shy and loving, some are arrogant and cruel, some are quirky and kind.. I think you've had the bad luck to be meeting type 2's.
I agree with some of the other posters that you need to have confidence. I knew a guy once who wasn't attractive, physically, but was so confident and charasmatic that I would have went ou with him in a heartbeat had he not been too young.
Don't wish your life away. You have as much right to be here as any of us, so you might as well live it to the fullest.
Hey, not every women is bad! I wouldn't say that we are mysterious as a whole. We each have different personalties, wants, ect. Some of us are shy and loving, some are arrogant and cruel, some are quirky and kind.. I think you've had the bad luck to be meeting type 2's.
I agree with some of the other posters that you need to have confidence. I knew a guy once who wasn't attractive, physically, but was so confident and charasmatic that I would have went ou with him in a heartbeat had he not been too young.
Don't wish your life away. You have as much right to be here as any of us, so you might as well live it to the fullest.
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NotTooImportant
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I don't think you quite get it. Me and this guy have been friends for a LONG time. He's been like my business partner. We've made many web series together, we've made websites together. In fact, I'm the reason he's with this girl. If I didn't exist, neither would that relationship.
Every once in a while, he texts me and invites to his events. What kind of person would I be if I said, "Listen, we've been through everything together, but you're dating the girl I liked, we can't be friends anymore. Later."
It's just... I've tried so many times to get a girl and not only did I fail each time, a pack of embarrassment and insult comes with it. Yet my friend. He calls the girl "hot" and bam, he gets her, even though she had another boyfriend at the time. I just don't get it man.
My dad told me that me still being friends with him after that was a sign of my "high maturity". Nothing sense anymore. I still see life as a waste of time. I didn't fail life. Life failed me.
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I'm so sorry, that must have sounded so insensitive. I had no idea how close you were to him!
You're dad's right, that does make you mature to stay friends with him. I just assumed he was a casual buddy.
I usually feel fairly good about myself, but I was once friends with this gorgeous girl (think Barbie personified) who got all the guys. All of the sudden I became invisible. She didn't bother to be modest either, she always talked about the guys who fell in love with her. (even her mom talked about it) She and I were supposed to go out for a "girl's day out" one time and she ended up bringing along this hot guy that watched her try on homecoming dresses at the mall. He admired her and offered to pay for a $300.00 dress. Lots of flirting and giggling. My sister told her off later and we stopped being friends.
I think we've all felt life failed us at one point. That's why we have to try even harder to succeed.
You're dad's right, that does make you mature to stay friends with him. I just assumed he was a casual buddy.
I usually feel fairly good about myself, but I was once friends with this gorgeous girl (think Barbie personified) who got all the guys. All of the sudden I became invisible. She didn't bother to be modest either, she always talked about the guys who fell in love with her. (even her mom talked about it) She and I were supposed to go out for a "girl's day out" one time and she ended up bringing along this hot guy that watched her try on homecoming dresses at the mall. He admired her and offered to pay for a $300.00 dress. Lots of flirting and giggling. My sister told her off later and we stopped being friends.
I think we've all felt life failed us at one point. That's why we have to try even harder to succeed.
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explodingboy
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Been there done that, was an 18years of friendship prior to the girl. Even long friendships can end, people still grow apart no matter how much time they spend growing up together.
Human, would be my first response, and if it causes you grief seeing them together just plain sensible would be the next conclusion.
This one is easy, life ain't fair. It doesn't have to make much sense.
There is little sense in continually putting yourself in harms way unnecessarily just to prove maturity, for starters keep it up and it's less a sign of maturity and more of a case of being a human carpet.
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explodingboy
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Trust me it could of been worse, try going to stay overnight at your best friends because of being suicidally depressed, only to have the girl decide to come too, and then proceed to dry hump him all evening. Now that is third wheel stuff.
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NotTooImportant
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explodingboy (did your story really happen?) and JesusSaved, sorry to read those heavy stories. I mean that seriously. Also, this friend of mine. When he was falling in love with this girl, he was telling ONLY me about it before his own mother (who is a sweet woman). If that ain't trust, I don't know what is. I hope I meet a girl better than her. Whenever I want to end the friendship with this guy, something inside me won't allow it.
In a way, I think it's best if she's with my friend rather me. My self-esteem is rock bottom and my looks are pretty bad. Still, it stings me from time to time. Sometimes I wish they'd feel the same pain I felt. Imagine if I was never born, I wouldn't have to deal with any of this dumb crap.
In a way, I think it's best if she's with my friend rather me. My self-esteem is rock bottom and my looks are pretty bad. Still, it stings me from time to time. Sometimes I wish they'd feel the same pain I felt. Imagine if I was never born, I wouldn't have to deal with any of this dumb crap.
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VIP, but if you were never born you would have missed out on the good stuff too (there must have been some good stuff in your life) Maybe at the moment you feel like the bad outweighs it.
What do you think is physically unattractive about you? Is it something you can change? Contacts instead of glasses, changing your hair color, whatever? I changed alot about my appearance after my nerdy tween years, and my confidence level boosted. Guys became interested. Not that you should feel like there's anything wrong with you, you probably are good looking but you can't see it through your self hating eyes. But if something is bothering you that you can fix, change it!
What do you think is physically unattractive about you? Is it something you can change? Contacts instead of glasses, changing your hair color, whatever? I changed alot about my appearance after my nerdy tween years, and my confidence level boosted. Guys became interested. Not that you should feel like there's anything wrong with you, you probably are good looking but you can't see it through your self hating eyes. But if something is bothering you that you can fix, change it!
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NotTooImportant
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The way my face is shaped, I don't like. I personally think I put on a few pounds, but I can change that easily. Also, I always wanted a slim body, but instead I have a very wide frame with very wide shoulders.
I wear contacts and glasses interchangeably. I'm not worried about the two, because they don't change much. Glasses don't make me feel embarrassed, but I do wear contacts when I see fit.
My hair is an extremely dark brown, which I quite like, but my hair grows in the dumbest way possible. I want my hair to grow like this: http://coolmenshairstyles.com/images/2009/09/male-surfer-hairstyles.JPG
But I get the exact opposite instead.
I'd like to think that. But I've never been told I was attractive and I have a history of being called ugly. Unless I do full blown plastic surgery, I can't change too much.
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explodingboy
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Unfortunately. Still has a reasonably happy ending, haven't heard from the best mate in.. 4yrs now, but I'm still good friends with the girl.
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If I were you I'd rather have wide shoulders than be have a slender frame. To a girl, you'd seem like the kind of guy who seems strong and protective. Being too skinny is not a good thing for a guy. Dark hair is a plus too.
There will always be certain things that you can't change about yourself. I'd love to be taller than the average 10 year old, but my body had other ideas. Guess I should have drank more milk as a kid..
There will always be certain things that you can't change about yourself. I'd love to be taller than the average 10 year old, but my body had other ideas. Guess I should have drank more milk as a kid..
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NotTooImportant
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Yeah, my facial features aren't getting any better. This is the number one reason why I never ask any girl out. Ever. There's really no reason to make an effort for any of that now. I'm not trying to b being pessimistic, but realistic.
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