The last 10 years of my life have been the most traumatic. Finding out that I was used in human trafficking, that my biological mother is a Satanist and I have been used in Satanic Ritual Abuse, that I have been used in mind control, that my parents who I thought were my biological parents are not and more.
To add to this trauma, one of my best friends got pregnant for the father of my children. This is the man who God himself chose to be my husband. Oftentimes wherever the father of my children is she often shows up with their daughter. I understand about my former best friend daughter needing to see her father, but my former best friend has decided that she too must also must be apart of our lives, my life. Then whenever I get upset she goes to him and cry and he feels sorry for her and he comforts her and hugs her etc The father of my children seems to not understand what I am making a big deal about.
I have also spent the last 8 years trying to reunite with my family to no avail. The father of my children could easily send me a private message on this forum, to work something out, but he has not. The reason why I have allowed private messages to come to me on this forum is because of wanting him, needing him to contact me.
Then in addition to all of this, Jesus Christ shows me in dreams where he is telling me he is going to get married. What does this mean for my relationship with my children that have already been destroyed due to the fact that I have been unable to be apart of their lives especially from they were babies.
This entire situation is enough to destroy my mental, emotional, and physical health. When I told a nurse in Jamaica that I had Dissociative Identity Disorder she said that persons with this disorder normally do not live long (In Jamaica at least) and she is correct. My entire inside is being pulled apart especially my brain and my body. Oftentimes I have asked God to take away my life because everyday living is a challenge.
To add to this trauma, one of my best friends got pregnant for the father of my children. This is the man who God himself chose to be my husband. Oftentimes wherever the father of my children is she often shows up with their daughter. I understand about my former best friend daughter needing to see her father, but my former best friend has decided that she too must also must be apart of our lives, my life. Then whenever I get upset she goes to him and cry and he feels sorry for her and he comforts her and hugs her etc The father of my children seems to not understand what I am making a big deal about.
I have also spent the last 8 years trying to reunite with my family to no avail. The father of my children could easily send me a private message on this forum, to work something out, but he has not. The reason why I have allowed private messages to come to me on this forum is because of wanting him, needing him to contact me.
Then in addition to all of this, Jesus Christ shows me in dreams where he is telling me he is going to get married. What does this mean for my relationship with my children that have already been destroyed due to the fact that I have been unable to be apart of their lives especially from they were babies.
This entire situation is enough to destroy my mental, emotional, and physical health. When I told a nurse in Jamaica that I had Dissociative Identity Disorder she said that persons with this disorder normally do not live long (In Jamaica at least) and she is correct. My entire inside is being pulled apart especially my brain and my body. Oftentimes I have asked God to take away my life because everyday living is a challenge.
