pilot101 said:
I'm not good at this sort of thing. I'm 24 years old and grew up in a christian household but lost my faith at about 21/22 and am now floundering. I've exhausted all other options and am now appealing to strangers for help becasue I've run out of options. If you can offer me advice, or even hope, please post something - but I need something concrete.
The reasons for why my faith started to fail aren't too important - let's just say that I had a some major heartache and god simply was not there when I needed him. Don't tell me he was there, or that I wasn't looking in the right place, or that he was testing me and helping me through it. He wasn't there. You know that rather saccharine 'Footprints' poem thing about the man walking down the beach at the end of his life? I used to like it but now it makes me feel sick, I mean actually sick. It's c**p and it makes me angry.
That said, I don't understand why I was deserted when I most needed god but it was a couple of years ago now and things have changed. I'm older and the pain has diminshed and I am trying to give the whole thing another try - to try and get my faith back. But 'disappointment in god' doesn't even come close to my disillusionment. The worst thing is that losing my faith has changed me, and not in a good way. I'm colder, more cynical, less outgoing, less confident, less sociable, angrier, more bitter, lethargic and tired. My entire personality has changed. My girlfriend has (in bitter irony) now become a christian and our situations have totally reversed in that she's this born-again christian and I (to my own disgust) mentally roll my eyes every time she tells me that god loves me or that he's got a plan. It's nonsense. The thing is, I don't want to believe it's nonsense - and I don't want to be rolling my eyes any more. I want to beleive like I used to because it made me happy, it made her happy, I was a better person and because (I think) it might be the truth.
What I don't need is people telling me to 'just trust in god' or 'just pray to him' or quoting scripture at me. Been there, done that, it's zero use to me. I'm tired, and cynical and struggling to be receptive. I need concrete ideas on how to soften my heart again and how to open myself up again. I need advice that might actually help me because I miss the old me.
Please please please help me.
Hello Pilot101....
1. God does love you.
2. However, there is something that blocks our relationship with God. A barrier, if you will.
3. The barrier is called sin.
4. Sin started way back in the Garden....and continues today. All of us have sinned.
5. God says that the punishment for sin is eternal death. Heading to Hell, when we die.
6. But, God loves us way too much to see us spend eternity in Hell. He will provide a way for us to spend eternity with Him in Heaven.
7. Back in the Old Testament times, God required the sacrifice of animals to cover the sin of a man.
This sacrificial act was done over and over.
8. God was setting the stage for the Ultimate Sacrificial Lamb to come into the picture. His Son Jesus.
Jesus was born to die. Jesus was perfect and committed no sin. Ever.
9. The Sacrificial Lamb will take the punishment for our sin. He will die....and my sin will be removed. No longer covered....but wiped away. Forgiven.
10. With my sin forgiven, I can now enter into the presence of God, in Heaven, when I die and leave this earth.
11. However, it is not automatic. I must acknowledge first that I have sinned against a Holy God. I must acknowledge that Jesus is indeed the Son of God. I must repend...Turn from my sin. I must acknowledge that it was my sin that put Jesus on the cross that day.
12. This is all a gift. He gives it to us. But, we must take the gift.
.........Until we address this sin issue in our life, we cannot begin to build any relationship with God. We are not going to feel His Presence. We are not going to understand Him. We are not going to understand life.
Nothing make sense...and we just get angry.
*******Do born again Christians still experience pain and difficult life issues. Oh yes.
Life without a relationship with the Living God does not even come close to the abundant life in relationship with our Lord and Savior.
I didn't get a chance yet to read through all of the posts in your thread. When I read your initial post, I thought I would start with the basic issue of sin.
Be Blessed, my friend.
There is so much Hope !
