desperate

[Aquiace]

I am a fighter. I don't give up easily and I have incredible patience. I can endure a lot of persecution. I can withstand a lot of pain. But now I'm at my limit. My spirit is broken.

I can endure it no longer. Last night I tried to take my life, but my step-daughter woke up and I couldn't do it. Maybe intervention, I don't know.

I'm far from my home country, far from my friends. I am at home taking care of the family while my wife works because I don't speak the language enough to get a job here. She works 2 jobs at night and comes home drunk a lot. She no longer cares for me. She no longer looks after the family.

She's turned into something awful. I pledged to her that I would never leave her side. I am bound by that wretched promise. But I am losing more of myself now every day. I no longer function as a human, but as a machine out of duty for my family.

The pain in my soul knows no boundaries. All my attempts to communicate are shot down and turned into something more to harm me with. I have been the scape goat of this relationship for a long time because she will not admit to her faults. Though I pray and pray and pray, there is no change.

I love the kids, even though they are not from me. If I leave, I know I will never see them again. How can I still love my wife? How can I still regard her feelings so? I was once a good man. I was once a proud mine.

Now I am reduced to this... pray for me. Pray for my family.

 

[heron]

Hi Aquiace, so sorry to hear you are going through this.

Yes, we will pray for you, and for your family. We know that you want the best for your family.

While it might not seem consoling, millions of people go through similar feelings when they are home with young children. It is hard and humbling to have no concrete evidence of how you invest your time. But your concrete evidence is your children, and your time is well spent.

If your wife no longer looks after your children, then the worst thing you could do right now would be leaving them. They need you. Someone needs to watch them, and to raise them lovingly. If you had a job, much of your net income could go to child care (depending on what you could get). And you never know who can be trusted with your children.

It can be worth focusing on the kids right now, and hope that in a few years your wife will be less stressed. As your kids grow, they become like friends if you can use your time well.

I heard a speaker this week who said that we parents don't need to create great memories for our kids -- we are their memories. Your kids will look back on their childhood, and remember being with you.

 

[wonderwaleye]

I am a fighter. I don't give up easily and I have incredible patience. I can endure a lot of persecution. I can withstand a lot of pain. But now I'm at my limit. My spirit is broken.

I can endure it no longer. Last night I tried to take my life, but my step-daughter woke up and I couldn't do it. Maybe intervention, I don't know.

I'm far from my home country, far from my friends. I am at home taking care of the family while my wife works because I don't speak the language enough to get a job here. She works 2 jobs at night and comes home drunk a lot. She no longer cares for me. She no longer looks after the family.

She's turned into something awful. I pledged to her that I would never leave her side. I am bound by that wretched promise. But I am losing more of myself now every day. I no longer function as a human, but as a machine out of duty for my family.

The pain in my soul knows no boundaries. All my attempts to communicate are shot down and turned into something more to harm me with. I have been the scape goat of this relationship for a long time because she will not admit to her faults. Though I pray and pray and pray, there is no change.

I love the kids, even though they are not from me. If I leave, I know I will never see them again. How can I still love my wife? How can I still regard her feelings so? I was once a good man. I was once a proud mine.

Now I am reduced to this... pray for me. Pray for my family.

The prayer has been said and my heart goes out to you.




Now is a time when only GOD can direct your way:

1 Peter
Chapter 4
​

12 Beloved, do not be surprised that a trial by fire is occurring among you, as if something strange were happening to you.



13 But rejoice to the extent that you share in the sufferings of Christ, so that when his glory is revealed you may also rejoice exultantly.



14 If you are insulted for the name of Christ, blessed are you, for the Spirit of glory and of God rests upon you.



15 But let no one among you be made to suffer as a murderer, a thief, an evildoer, or as an intriguer.



16 But whoever is made to suffer as a Christian should not be ashamed but glorify God because of the name.



17 For it is time for the judgment to begin with the household of God; if it begins with us, how will it end for those who fail to obey the gospel of God?



18 "And if the righteous one is barely saved, where will the godless and the sinner appear?"



19 As a result, those who suffer in accord with God's will hand their souls over to a faithful creator as they do good.


So you must pick yourself up and know that what your doing and going through is for the GLORY of GOD.


GOD tells us:



The Book of WisdomChapter 1




12
Court not death by your erring way of life, nor draw to yourselves destruction by the works of your hands.


13
Because God did not make death, nor does he rejoice in the destruction of the living.




We want to live in GLORY with the FATHER, JESUS, and the HOLY SPIRIT. Every time you think about your cross being to heavy to bear think about what JESUS suffered in HIS last 24 hours and that HE did IT of HIS own free will so that you could be united with the FATHER.





Just think if you were to end it now you would of gone through all this in vain.




If you are going to be part of the KINGDOM of ALMIGHTY GOD you MUST GIVE IT ALL TO GOD.






GOD demands that you give HIM your WHOLE heart, mind, strength, and soul. That means you go in prayer and tell GOD that you will do this and from that moment on seek GOD in all your decisions. After this is complete GOD will know. For HE searches the heart. HE will then send HIS HOLY SPIRIT ( ANOINTED-BORN AGAIN- SAVED ). For it is then that you shall receive the MISSION GOD has for just you and supply all your needs, even what you have not the ability to have.






Pick up GOD'S ROAD MAP to the KINGDOM of ALMIGHTY GOD ( BIBLE ) and start reading the NEW TESTIMENT till the next time you read it you will already know what IT'S going to say. For then it's locked in your heart to draw from for the rest of your life. You will NEVER be sorry you did.






Do yourself a BIG FAVOR and Start right now!!!





LOVE





steven

 

[Aquiace]

Thank you all for your great advice and your prayers, but in just a few hours things have come to a close. She has thrown me out. I have decided to go back to my home country. I love her, I love the kids, but there is no place for me here anymore.

She said she doesn't need me anymore. She doesn't love me anymore.　I don't know where to go from here. Even the kids were from her first marriage, I have loved them as my own kids and they have accepted me as their father. I don't know what God's plan is for me or for them, but I've invested so much into making this family... into this woman that I love so much... but she is undoing her own life by her owns hands and I am helpless to stop it. This is the way she wants to go, and I must try to rebuild my shattered life.

Please, pray for her and the kids. Pray that God blesses them and gives them a good life, with or without me. Pray for Him to rescue her from her alchoholism that is ruining her life... something I was unable to do.

 

[wonderwaleye]

Thank you all for your great advice and your prayers, but in just a few hours things have come to a close. She has thrown me out. I have decided to go back to my home country. I love her, I love the kids, but there is no place for me here anymore.

She said she doesn't need me anymore. She doesn't love me anymore.　I don't know where to go from here. Even the kids were from her first marriage, I have loved them as my own kids and they have accepted me as their father. I don't know what God's plan is for me or for them, but I've invested so much into making this family... into this woman that I love so much... but she is undoing her own life by her owns hands and I am helpless to stop it. This is the way she wants to go, and I must try to rebuild my shattered life.

Please, pray for her and the kids. Pray that God blesses them and gives them a good life, with or without me. Pray for Him to rescue her from her alchoholism that is ruining her life... something I was unable to do.

Now you have no choice for she has made it for you.


So go and take care of you soul. Look to GOD for a brighter day. You now will have the time you need to grow to maturity in the KINGDOM of ALMIGHTY GOD.


LOVE


steven

 

[freeport]

I am a fighter. I don't give up easily and I have incredible patience. I can endure a lot of persecution. I can withstand a lot of pain. But now I'm at my limit. My spirit is broken.

I can endure it no longer. Last night I tried to take my life, but my step-daughter woke up and I couldn't do it. Maybe intervention, I don't know.

I'm far from my home country, far from my friends. I am at home taking care of the family while my wife works because I don't speak the language enough to get a job here. She works 2 jobs at night and comes home drunk a lot. She no longer cares for me. She no longer looks after the family.

She's turned into something awful. I pledged to her that I would never leave her side. I am bound by that wretched promise. But I am losing more of myself now every day. I no longer function as a human, but as a machine out of duty for my family.

The pain in my soul knows no boundaries. All my attempts to communicate are shot down and turned into something more to harm me with. I have been the scape goat of this relationship for a long time because she will not admit to her faults. Though I pray and pray and pray, there is no change.

I love the kids, even though they are not from me. If I leave, I know I will never see them again. How can I still love my wife? How can I still regard her feelings so? I was once a good man. I was once a proud mine.

Now I am reduced to this... pray for me. Pray for my family.

Jesus knows the pain you feel.

Nobody has been there like Jesus has.

As for scape goats... that is the old way, under the Law... escape that, do the will of God, and all will be good with you.

 

[wayfaring man]

Sorry to hear of your pain and heartache brother ,

...The unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband: else were your children unclean; but now are they holy.
But if the unbelieving depart, let him depart. A brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases: but God has called us to peace. <-----> 1st Corinthians 7:14+15

It sounds as if you did your best to make it work , but it takes two to make a couple , the above verse advises us that we can't force someone to remain our spouse , and if they refuse to try and work through things , we're not bound by necessity to keep fighting over it with them , but are free to separate , for the sake of peace .

May The Peace of God Bring Good Comfort and The Lord's Spirit Lead Safe & Sure .

wm

 

[heron]

Even though it could feel like you're stuck, there are English-speakers in most countries. You might be able to find a consulate-related job, teaching English, or something dealing with UK, American, or Australian companies. Is there anyone to watch the kids while you explore possibilities? (You don't need to answer.)

I hope you are feeling a little better.

 

[heron]

English speakers are needed at museums, airports, schools, ski centers, and anywhere internationals will visit.


tokyo all jobs classifieds - craigslist
classifieds - craigslist
Blogger/Writters needed. -- web content writing

I'm sure you have already done a lot of work to find opportunities.

 

[childofGod31]

I am a fighter. I don't give up easily and I have incredible patience. I can endure a lot of persecution. I can withstand a lot of pain. But now I'm at my limit. My spirit is broken.

I can endure it no longer. Last night I tried to take my life, but my step-daughter woke up and I couldn't do it. Maybe intervention, I don't know.

I'm far from my home country, far from my friends. I am at home taking care of the family while my wife works because I don't speak the language enough to get a job here. She works 2 jobs at night and comes home drunk a lot. She no longer cares for me. She no longer looks after the family.

She's turned into something awful. I pledged to her that I would never leave her side. I am bound by that wretched promise. But I am losing more of myself now every day. I no longer function as a human, but as a machine out of duty for my family.

The pain in my soul knows no boundaries. All my attempts to communicate are shot down and turned into something more to harm me with. I have been the scape goat of this relationship for a long time because she will not admit to her faults. Though I pray and pray and pray, there is no change.

I love the kids, even though they are not from me. If I leave, I know I will never see them again. How can I still love my wife? How can I still regard her feelings so? I was once a good man. I was once a proud mine.

Now I am reduced to this... pray for me. Pray for my family.

Hi,
I just wanted say something in regards to your soul. I assume that since you tried to take your life, you couldn't find strength or comfort in God. I just wanted to encourage you to try to find intimate relationship with God. When a person is in close relationship with God, He gives Him strength to endure, He gives him joy even in the midst of sufferings, He is always there for Him. I bet He was watching over you that night when you wanted to end up in eternity without Him. And He loves you. He needs you. He wants you to love Him back too. Try it.

It says: taste and see that the Lord is good.

Try to find a close personal relationship with God. And I don't mean the one where people say: pray a prayer of a sinner and invite Jesus into your heart and now you will have a personal relationship with God. No. This is not what I mean.

I mean talk to God daily. Keep your thoughts focused on Him. This is the only thing that will keep you ABOVE the earth, above your troubles. This is where you will find your peace and joy and comfort. God loves you deeply. He longs for your company. You are His child. Your soul was created to fellowship with Him. That is your destiny. Do not throw away such beautiful destiny: to know God personally and intimately and to find much love and joy from that. Study the Bible to learn about the heart of God (don't just read what He did, figure out WHY He did it.) See his HEART, His love, His compassion. Believe! Satan tells us lies about God, whispers negative thoughts into our thoughts. Believe the BIBLE! That's your armor against satan. Believe that God loves you if the Bible says so. It's the TRUTH.

Come to Him. Like a prodigal son. Remember, in the story of a prodigal son, the Father ran out to meet his son. Why? Because He always loved Him, because He was always missing him, because He was always longing for him. HE WAS HIS SON!

God longs for you. He waits for you. You will bring Him great happiness when you come back to Him, when you talk to Him daily, when you try to learn about Him. And you will find your own happiness in doing so.

Our souls were created to love God. That's their calling. Your soul is miserable because it doesn't experience that what it was destined for. Let it experience it. Let it have intimacy with God, happiness with God, joy with God.

He IS! He is not a religion. He is your FATHER! He hears your cries and He cries with you. His heart is full of compassion and like Jesus said: if you are being evil do good to your children, how much more the Father who is in heaven will give you things you need.

His heart is much bigger than ours. If you can cry for your child's pain, God's heart will suffer so much deeper. Just see Him suffering with you, crying with you. He is hurting because you are hurting. But He is God, so He has strength and comfort to offer you. Throw yourself completely into His arms and He will be your greatest joy!

God bless you.

 

[andreha]

Hi There, Aquiace

I pray that the Lord will surround you with love, and give you peace, joy and fulfilment.

Blessings
Andre