Desperate or just want something more?

[LadyOfMystery]

So I was talking to a friend about something I was dealing with and we got into this pretty nice discussion that I'd like to share a bit of and let you guys discuss and see what you think. And debating is allowed.
Okay, so I was telling her that I was fine being single but I'm starting to get to the point where I know I don't *need* a guy, but I want one. And of course she started the whole "But God loves you, you don't ever need a guy to complete you, etc etc." Which is true. I don't. But that isn't the point.. My point is of course I don't need a guy..But I want that nice feeling of having a guy who's only interested in making you happy, telling all of his tired ol unfunny jokes just to make you smile lol, I want a guy who I can just spend time with and if we don't say anything at all it would be ok. And described a few other qualities I want. Well she immediate said "don't be desperate". I'm not desperate. I'm not gonna grab the next guy who says "hey there ". So I guess here is my question. I know that you don't need a guy to be happy, but even tho I love God totally and completely is it okay to just want that companionship or whatever you'd like to call it, Or am I just sounding desperate for a guy to just come along?

 

[Elmcer]

Hey there!

i dont think u sound desperate... i think deep down everybody wants somebody wheather they are willing to admit it or not...

 

[Keri]

It's not desperate. It's a normal human drive to want to be with someone. Continue to wait patiently and the right one will come.

 

[Tehchad]

Didn't God design it that way? Didn't He design man and woman to complete each other? Didn't He see that things were not right without the partner?
You may not "need" a partner. I know I do. I haven't found her yet, but that's okay. When God deems me ready, He'll give me a partner.
You are not desperate. I think you are just feeling what God intended.

 

[Rhye]

Its not desperate, its simple human emotion and we all go through it. To deny we do, is silly!

 

[Wren]

It's completely human to want to be with someone. You are not hooking up with someone from a bar out of loneliness, so I say that you are good.

 

[Cute Tink]

If you have qualities above "he's breathing" I wouldn't say you were desperate. Sounds like you know what you want and you're looking for someone who fits the mold. Perhaps your requirements are lower than hers and she's afraid you might be on the road to settling for less than you really want (I don't see it that way, but I'm offering a possible rationale).

 

[Luther073082]

I don't think you sound desperate but I think you do have rose tinted glasses just a bit.

But I want that nice feeling of having a guy who's only interested in making you happy,

While you might very well find someone who's primary concern is making you happy, if you want someone who is ONLY interested in making you happy, then you are asking for too much.

Guys are humans too who while they might want to make a woman happy also want to be happy themselves *shock*. They might also be considering other things such as what is pleasing to God. Plus while you may be their #2 concern (behind God) that does not mean their concerns will be limited to only you and God. Work, family, friends are also going to be concerns.

I don't know if ment it as a person who's sole reason for existing is your undying happiness. But it sounded sort of like that to me so I wanted to clarify that.

 

[Wren]

I'm guessing she was just thinking romantically and not literally when she was saying that to her friend.

 

[penNpaper]

So I was talking to a friend about something I was dealing with and we got into this pretty nice discussion that I'd like to share a bit of and let you guys discuss and see what you think. And debating is allowed.
Okay, so I was telling her that I was fine being single but I'm starting to get to the point where I know I don't *need* a guy, but I want one. And of course she started the whole "But God loves you, you don't ever need a guy to complete you, etc etc." Which is true. I don't. But that isn't the point.. My point is of course I don't need a guy..But I want that nice feeling of having a guy who's only interested in making you happy, telling all of his tired ol unfunny jokes just to make you smile lol, I want a guy who I can just spend time with and if we don't say anything at all it would be ok. And described a few other qualities I want. Well she immediate said "don't be desperate". I'm not desperate. I'm not gonna grab the next guy who says "hey there ". So I guess here is my question. I know that you don't need a guy to be happy, but even tho I love God totally and completely is it okay to just want that companionship or whatever you'd like to call it, Or am I just sounding desperate for a guy to just come along?

First off I want to say...good insight post Jen

It is completely alright to want/desire companionship Jennie. I think its built into our human wire-frame to want/desire someone in our lives. To long for someone to sweep us off our feet, make us feel good to know "somebody" is thinking/caring about us, and that warm and fuzzy feeling that you get when you have somebody in our lives.

From my own personal experience, the past few months, I've been dealing with being content awhile living the single life. Being content in the Lord, getting my life together whether finding employment or preparing for returning to college in the Fall. Focus on Him more and ect But sometimes mostly at nights, when I'm wake in bed, I always have an sense something is missing in my life...the lack of companionship "aka" someone to make my life in that warm and fuzzy condition once again...to be loved...to be cared about...to know someone out there wants you for you...

In reality, it takes time and with the Lord, He shall comfort you in all seasons of your life. Whether it be the single life, when you do find someone, and the rest of the relationship stages as well.

I do encourage you Jennie in your Walk in the Lord as well as in Life to be blessed in ALL things. Eventually the Lord shall bless you with a Man of God Hunk and he will be beyond your imagination of your needs/wants and everything that you want in a man to come true, my dear friend.

Hopefully my post has helped you Jennie God Bless on your journey ahead!!

God Bless,
Drew

 

[Im_A]

So I was talking to a friend about something I was dealing with and we got into this pretty nice discussion that I'd like to share a bit of and let you guys discuss and see what you think. And debating is allowed.
Okay, so I was telling her that I was fine being single but I'm starting to get to the point where I know I don't *need* a guy, but I want one. And of course she started the whole "But God loves you, you don't ever need a guy to complete you, etc etc." Which is true. I don't. But that isn't the point.. My point is of course I don't need a guy..But I want that nice feeling of having a guy who's only interested in making you happy, telling all of his tired ol unfunny jokes just to make you smile lol, I want a guy who I can just spend time with and if we don't say anything at all it would be ok. And described a few other qualities I want. Well she immediate said "don't be desperate". I'm not desperate. I'm not gonna grab the next guy who says "hey there ". So I guess here is my question. I know that you don't need a guy to be happy, but even tho I love God totally and completely is it okay to just want that companionship or whatever you'd like to call it, Or am I just sounding desperate for a guy to just come along?

You are not being desperate. There's something lacking in your life that nothing else is filling, be it what you believe is god, or whatever it may be...that desire is still there no matter what. There is no sign of despair simply because you acknowledge that want and you want that want.

 

[memoriesbymichelle]

I think most of us were created to have a mate in life. Adam was lonely until Eve came on the scene. I definitely don't think you are desparate at all. I think your friend might be afraid if you do find a boyfriend, that she won't be as prevelant in your life IDK. Funny cuz when I voice what I want in a man (and I am older and already lost my love of my life) my friends (usually guys) tell me my standards are too high and I shouldn't be so picky. My answer is that at this stage of the game (for me) I'm not "settling" so if I'm being picky so be it, but it's not like I've met any guys and they were lacking one or two qualities I wanted and so I crossed them off my list lol. I think its great that you have an idea of what kind of person you would like to be with.

 

[Blank123]

Its not desperate, its simple human emotion and we all go through it. To deny we do, is silly!

this

 

[LadyOfMystery]

I don't think you sound desperate but I think you do have rose tinted glasses just a bit.



While you might very well find someone who's primary concern is making you happy, if you want someone who is ONLY interested in making you happy, then you are asking for too much.

Guys are humans too who while they might want to make a woman happy also want to be happy themselves *shock*. They might also be considering other things such as what is pleasing to God. Plus while you may be their #2 concern (behind God) that does not mean their concerns will be limited to only you and God. Work, family, friends are also going to be concerns.

I don't know if ment it as a person who's sole reason for existing is your undying happiness. But it sounded sort of like that to me so I wanted to clarify that.

lol I understand that. and I agree! Fullheartedly. I basically meant that I didn't expect him to only wanna make me happy but I have met guys who put everyone elses feelings above the girl he's with, and I've also met guys who put the girl in the right perspective.. God, parents, her. And that's what I meant. I want a guy like that. Where I actually know hey he's making an effort in making me happy and not 20 other people above me. But I agree totally with what you mean.

Thank you guys for your posts, it makes me feel better about what I'm going through. I'm not sad over being single or upset or whatever, it's just those times you know you want that certain guy, etc etc.

 

[LadyOfMystery]

this

Agreed.

 

[LadyL]

I'm the same way, it's not desperate to know what you are looking for and wait for God to bring it to you, if He so wills so.

It's desperate to settle...

A few people have told me they are glad I am sticking to my standards lol That's encouraging!

I am sure any one of us can find someone interested in us and that would like to get serious, but I want more than that- I want someone who will be my best friend, my biggest supporter, a good listener, a leader and someone who is not afraid to tell me the truth in love, a man who really wants and has God 1st in his life and someone I can connect with and be attracted to.

Is that too much to ask for? I don't think so I'm sure there is someone out there, but unfortunately right now I am jaded about relationships, so nows not a good time LOL

 

[jameseb]

To quote from the movie 'Singles':



Steve: Tell me, from a girl's point of view,
what do you want from a guy?

Janet: Well, when I first moved
out here from Tucson...
...I wanted a guy with...
...Iooks, security, caring.
Someone with their own place.
Someone who said "bless you" or "gesundheit" when I sneezed.
Someone who liked the same
things as me, but not exactly.
And someone who loves me.

Steve: Tall order.

Janet: Yeah, I scaled it down a little.

Steve: What is it now?

Janet: Someone who says "gesundheit,"
although I prefer "bless you"
It's nicer.

 

[TheAnimal]

Desperate? pshhh...

Sounds like something perfectly reasonable to want to me. And no way you should tolerate any guy who you're supposed to be seeing putting 20 other things above you!

 

[peacechild4]

You sound in the right place to me.. some really beautiful replies here.. so encouraging.. I see lots of growth in you and think the one you gets your heart will have a wonderfully long and happy life with you..

 

[LadyOfMystery]

You sound in the right place to me.. some really beautiful replies here.. so encouraging.. I see lots of growth in you and think the one you gets your heart will have a wonderfully long and happy life with you..

Aw thank you that's really sweet of you to say!