Desperate follower of Christ

[Galnaros]

.

 

[smithed64]

Sinan,

Some people don't get past "square one" because they trust in their feelings rather than God. His promises are true, despite our feelings. If I make a promise to my wife, that promise is true whether she is feeling happy or sad. If she doubts my word, then she brings a slur to my integrity.

Anyone who genuinely repents and trusts in Christ will be saved. The Bible makes this promise: " He that has my commandments, and keeps them, he it is that loves me: and he that loves me shall be loved of my Father, and I will love him, and will manifest myself to him" (John 14:21)
There's the promise, and there's the condition.

Any person who loves and obeys Jesus will begin a supernatural relationship with Him and the Father. He said, "And this is life eternal, that they might know you the only true God, and Jesus Christ, whom you have sent" (John 17:3).

That doesn't mean you will hear voices or see visions. God will instead make you a new heart with new desires. You will suddenly become conscious of God and His creation. The Bible will open up to you and become a living Word, and you will have an inner witness that you are saved, that your name is written n heaven, and that death has lost its sting. (1 John 5:10-12)

 

[Celestial Warrior]

9 years of being an atheist were finally broken by God. God introduced himself in His perfect way of doing so. I was at the communion of my little stepsister when the a-ha moment started. From then I knew God existed and that He wanted me to acknowledge him, which I did.

During this Holy Spirit awakening I felt this huge burst of love and energy. I started becoming very creative and full of life energy. A little while before this awakening I was in my dark night of the soul. I didn't know what to do with life, why would we do this?
Then, after getting further in this profound experience God convinced me that I could become a future RC Pope, my fate was decided. I was the 'complete package' and a good candidate to do His will for me.

Now comes the down side of my story. Me, at first thought it was a great opportunity to be spiritually anointed by God and to become a future Pope. But then my ego took over, I didn't want to become the Pope, because becoming a Pope meant not being able to fulfill desires like meeting women and having sex and all.
My thoughts started focussing on how I could not become a Pope and eventually I thought 'against God' to a point where I totally dismantled the Christian faith and I felt the presence of the Holy Spirit leaving me. During my awakening I also learned that it was 'all or nothing' for me, meaning that I am already a lost soul, that's how I view it at least. It has been 5 months that I feel very empty and I've lost my personality, truth, love, everything that makes a normal person love life has been robbed of me. I know it's my own fault for not accepting God's will into my life so I can't blame God at all. I have now acquired a totally useless mind, wandering in silly thoughts that aren't fruitfull at all. I believe such mind is called a 'reprobate mind'.

I was wondering if it's possible to regain the Holy Spirit after quenching it to a point where it totally leaves you. I read somewhere that someone underfound the same thing, leaving him in a state far worse than clinical depression, before finding God again.

I am very desperate because I am not connected to God anymore and would like to regain unity with him. This empty feeling made me attempt suicide already, which failed and was the reason for me being put in a mental hospital, where they didn't believe I had a real encounter with God. I would like to know if there is still hope for me even though God told me it was an all or nothing issue for me.

Sincerely,

Sinan

You are definately being attacked demonically because God would not have told you it is an all or nothing issue. He is just waiting for you to talk to him, knock on the door and our Lord Jesus will answer you again.

Rev 3:20 Behold, I stand at the door, and knock: if any man hear my voice, and open the door, I will come in to him, and will sup with him, and he with me.

Mat 7:7 ¶ Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you:

Mat 7:8 For every one that asketh receiveth; and he that seeketh findeth; and to him that knocketh it shall be opened

Simply reaching out to others shows that the Holy Spirit is still guiding you and our Lord Jesus and Heavenly Father are there with you.

Just talk to Jesus like a friend, even if he doesn't answer right away, he will communicate with you soon, the more you talk to him about how you feel. God will bless you soon.

 

[Galnaros]

Hello smithed64,

Thanks for replying!

I have already experienced being one with God. To be conscious of Him leading me the way through his creation. It was the best thing ever.
Since I have left God my mind still thinks in a way where it wants to acknowledge God through his creation, but I'm not being guided anymore. My thoughts are now totally useless and don't bear any fruits. It's just thinking without conviction. The worst thing now is that I can't continue any normal life since I am totally stripped of my personality. There's no more sense of humour, love, happyness and all other good things.

I've never been this lost before.
Will God return to me anytime soon? I hope I get another chance like Jonah.

Sincerely,

Sinan

Sinan,

Some people don't get past "square one" because they trust in their feelings rather than God. His promises are true, despite our feelings. If I make a promise to my wife, that promise is true whether she is feeling happy or sad. If she doubts my word, then she brings a slur to my integrity.

Anyone who genuinely repents and trusts in Christ will be saved. The Bible makes this promise: " He that has my commandments, and keeps them, he it is that loves me: and he that loves me shall be loved of my Father, and I will love him, and will manifest myself to him" (John 14:21)
There's the promise, and there's the condition.

Any person who loves and obeys Jesus will begin a supernatural relationship with Him and the Father. He said, "And this is life eternal, that they might know you the only true God, and Jesus Christ, whom you have sent" (John 17:3).

That doesn't mean you will hear voices or see visions. God will instead make you a new heart with new desires. You will suddenly become conscious of God and His creation. The Bible will open up to you and become a living Word, and you will have an inner witness that you are saved, that your name is written n heaven, and that death has lost its sting. (1 John 5:10-12)

 

[smithed64]

Hello smithed64,

Thanks for replying!

I have already experienced being one with God. To be conscious of Him leading me the way through his creation. It was the best thing ever.
Since I have left God my mind still thinks in a way where it wants to acknowledge God through his creation, but I'm not being guided anymore. My thoughts are now totally useless and don't bear any fruits. It's just thinking without conviction. The worst thing now is that I can't continue any normal life since I am totally stripped of my personality. There's no more sense of humour, love, happyness and all other good things.

I've never been this lost before.
Will God return to me anytime soon? I hope I get another chance like Jonah.

Sincerely,

Sinan

Are you speaking of the God of Heaven?
We don't feel or experience being ONE with God. We surrender our lives to Him, repenting of our sins and we die to sin, but Live in Christ. It's a relationship. Not a oneness feeling.

When you got saved, what were your motives that brought you to God?

 

[yeshuaslavejeff]

I would like to know if there is still hope for me even though God told me it was an all or nothing issue for me.

< shrugs > 'perhaps' ---- who can know ? You were once totally deceived, and separate from Truth for a season (however long).

Recovering is a long process sometimes. (YHWH decides)....

If you trust whoever you trusted before (apparently) , then no recovery is possible as long as that continues (trusting someone other than YHWH (God).

If you turn to YHWH (God) and trust HIM to accomplish Salvation for your life, and live accordingly, relying on HIM, by faith,
TODAY and in the life to come,
then it is ALREADY ACCOMPLISHED ! (that is HIS WORD, not man's; so you can count on HIM)
HIS BUSINESS is SAVING SOULS.

 

[Celestial Warrior]

Are you speaking of the God of Heaven?
We don't feel or experience being ONE with God. We surrender our lives to Him, repenting of our sins and we die to sin, but Live in Christ. It's a relationship. Not a oneness feeling.

When you got saved, what were your motives that brought you to God?

forgiveness.

 

[Greg J.]

We don't feel or experience being ONE with God. We surrender our lives to Him, repenting of our sins and we die to sin, but Live in Christ. It's a relationship. Not a oneness feeling.

Let me suggest the possibility that you don't know what experience God gave him or allowed him to have. God can do whatever he wants.

A person in Christ is one with God in spirit. The fact there is a relationship there (or isn't there) is mutually exclusive with whatever feeling he may (or may not) have had.

Then, after getting further in this profound experience God convinced me that I could become a future RC Pope, my fate was decided. I was the 'complete package' and a good candidate to do His will for me.

God can do anything he wants through anyone he wants. Without more detail, I can't be sure, but this sounds like multiple deceptions wrapped up into a single package by Satan (2 Corinthians 11:14)—permitted by God because it leads you somewhere he wants you to go.

If God had to convince you, that's an indicator, but not a guarantee, that it was not God. God normally reveals truth. Nevertheless God could approach the interaction as "convincing you" if he wanted to.

The message—that you could be a future pope and he wanted you to seek the things that could lead you there—could be from God. What could be from Satan is an attempt to drive you to arrogance (which leads away from God) or to give you false expectations of yourself which you might then fail over and over again harming your relationship with God. Fortunately, the resolution is the same either way: we are commanded to not worry about the future, but rather focus on today. He will lead you step by step what he wants you to do, most of it without you being aware of it—and if it is to be a pope, it almost certainly will not seem to you that you are being lead in that direction. I'd give the idea more credibility if instead of what you thought you needed to do next, God sent you to a poor Christian village in Africa to carry water buckets for 20 years. But, again, God can do whatever he wants, through anyone he wants.

Lastly, unless God was trying to get you to see yourself as capable of anything because of Him alone, then he probably would not suggest you are a "good candidate," because the truth is no one is a good candidate (John 15:5).

 

[smithed64]

forgiveness.

Why are you seeking forgiveness?
I'm not knocking your motive. It is good one. But why?
Why do you want to serve God?

 

[smithed64]

Let me suggest the possibility that you don't know what experience God gave him or allowed him to have. God can do whatever he wants.

A person in Christ is one with God in spirit. The fact there is a relationship there (or isn't there) is mutually exclusive with whatever feeling he may (or may not) have had.

No we are not one with God in spirit. It's all God and not us. We cannot be anything without Him, everything you have He let you have. We are to deny ourselves completely.

 

[wayfaring man]

It is true that in order to follow Christ, we must abandon all that obstructs obedience to His revealed will. But most of us go through a lengthy / fiery process of being tried, refined, chastised, and purified before we arrive at the place where we are able and willing to forake all.

One of The Lord's most gracious attributes is that 'He is longsuffering towards us, not willing that any should perish'. See 2 Peter 2:9

With these things in mind - it appears God's lonsuffering nature is being obscured via a 'high-flying' vision of greatness, which indicates that the deceiver has messed with the matter at hand.

The devil is an opportunist /extremist.

Typically he will overstress or understress. He cannot handle the truth in a proper balance, nor can he rightly articulate the heavenly relationship between judgment and mercy.

He will either emphasize a judgment which has litttle of no potential for mercy.

Or he will emphasize a form of mercy, which pays little or no respect to judgment.

And that's his job - to try and throw us off.

The truth is we all need to become completely cleansed of all that defiles in order to fit well into God's Kingdom. Yet, because God is willing to generously bear with us for say 70 or 80 years (in most cases), we can have hope, even though we've a long way to go.

Rome wasn't built in a day.

Neither was any made pope over the weekend.

May The Lord be Pleased to Bless !

 

[Galnaros]

Are you speaking of the God of Heaven?
We don't feel or experience being ONE with God. We surrender our lives to Him, repenting of our sins and we die to sin, but Live in Christ. It's a relationship. Not a oneness feeling.

When you got saved, what were your motives that brought you to God?

I felt this huge burst of love all of a sudden. It struck me like thunder. I knew he was with me at the day of the communion of my stepsister. It was a phase of pure bliss and love and happyness and all good things that I don't have now because I used my free will to go against God. I dont feel actual remorse or guilt over the situation anymore so repenting is not an option I guess. Heart is hardened like a stone.

 

[LSOJ]

the reason I don't think that was God is because he wanted you to be the Pope. That makes no sense. Moreover, one doesn't simply die overnight to all desires. And desiring a wife is natural - the Catholics forbid priests to marry, which scripture explicitly warns about.

1 Timothy 4:1-3
1) But the Spirit explicitly says that in later times some will fall away from the faith, paying attention to deceitful spirits and doctrines of demons,
2) by means of the hypocrisy of liars seared in their own conscience as with a branding iron,
3) men who forbid marriage and advocate abstaining from foods which God has created to be gratefully shared in by those who believe and know the truth.

Satan can also so deceive.
Also read about Jerusalemite Syndrome, where people going to Jerusalem have delusions about being Jesus, or God. Deceiving spirits fill Jerusalem and take advantage of the weak-minded.

Now I encourage you, grab the scriptures and read them. You have been made aware here that the enemy is crafty and deceiving. Realize that the devil did two things - first, he faked being God, and deceived you as to what your purpose in life is, and second, he left you in a state where you feel rejected and reprobate so that you might not reach out to the Real Living God, who is love!

You see, if you by your own will, having only just met God could obey god, then there would be no need for God. But you see, you could not even make yourself obey these arbitrary demands, which I tell you are not from God. What I find in my walk with the real God is that, I am not able to obey God by my own will, but I must continually ask Him to help me obey Him. For if I could obey Him on my own, then I would have my own righteousness to boast about. It is God who is extremely forgiving, and it is God who can completely save. We do not let Him down, but He holds us up.

This is why I encourage you to read scriptures. Start in the New Testament, and read, and ask to know the real Jesus. Ask for salvation, call out to the real God!

 

[LSOJ]

I felt this huge burst of love all of a sudden. It struck me like thunder. I knew he was with me at the day of the communion of my stepsister. It was a phase of pure bliss and love and happyness and all good things that I don't have now because I used my free will to go against God. I dont feel actual remorse or guilt over the situation anymore so repenting is not an option I guess. Heart is hardened like a stone.

Guilt doesn't cause repentance, but conviction does. Godly sorrow does. God grants repentance. All people's hearts are hardened, and without god's grace, cannot become unhardened. It is God who grants faith to man. The devil can fake all those same euphoric feelings. Spirits speak in thoughts and feelings as well as words.

When God brought me to Himself, Satan was on my tail like a repo-hit squad. Many times they tries to wrench my faith away, scare me with visions of hell-fire, and whisper blasphemous thoughts in my head, which I thought were my own. He has many advantages, but the devil's fatal mistake was waking you up to the fact that there is a God. Now the ball is in your court. Will you seek out the real God or go wander off in your own direction based on what you experienced.

The Bible is God's revelation to man, and man cannot find God by themselves, by reasoning it out, or by trying to figure everything out by the basis of experience. The only way to know God is by reading the Bible and getting His truth in you. That is the Word which can change your life. I'll tell you, it is not any 'mere text'. They seem like words on a page at first, but once they get into your head, and are understood, then they start working their power. Which is why I say and say and say, pick up a Bible and read it.

Grab the NIV (New International Version), which is a good general Bible. NASB is a bit more precise, and NLT (New Living Translation) is easier to digest. KJV is hard, because it is in old English, but NKJV is decent. Avoid 'The Message' Bibile, it takes too much creative license in translation. But bottom line is, grab a Bible and start reading it.

 

[Galnaros]

Thank you for replying.
I am 100% sure that it was God that revealed Himself to me.
Same thing happened to Pope Francis who was majoring in Chemistry when suddenly he changed his path to become the Pope.
My faith has depleted 100% and I'm now left with a broken mind that is closed to the Truth, so reading the Bible won't give me that sense of understanding which it did when I just awakened, heck, I can barely memorize 1 page of what I read.
God changed the way I thought, made me realize what sin does to the world.
Only thing I can do is to force myself to do things which I don't feel like doing.

Guilt doesn't cause repentance, but conviction does. Godly sorrow does. God grants repentance. All people's hearts are hardened, and without god's grace, cannot become unhardened. It is God who grants faith to man. The devil can fake all those same euphoric feelings. Spirits speak in thoughts and feelings as well as words.

When God brought me to Himself, Satan was on my tail like a repo-hit squad. Many times they tries to wrench my faith away, scare me with visions of hell-fire, and whisper blasphemous thoughts in my head, which I thought were my own. He has many advantages, but the devil's fatal mistake was waking you up to the fact that there is a God. Now the ball is in your court. Will you seek out the real God or go wander off in your own direction based on what you experienced.

The Bible is God's revelation to man, and man cannot find God by themselves, by reasoning it out, or by trying to figure everything out by the basis of experience. The only way to know God is by reading the Bible and getting His truth in you. That is the Word which can change your life. I'll tell you, it is not any 'mere text'. They seem like words on a page at first, but once they get into your head, and are understood, then they start working their power. Which is why I say and say and say, pick up a Bible and read it.

Grab the NIV (New International Version), which is a good general Bible. NASB is a bit more precise, and NLT (New Living Translation) is easier to digest. KJV is hard, because it is in old English, but NKJV is decent. Avoid 'The Message' Bibile, it takes too much creative license in translation. But bottom line is, grab a Bible and start reading it.

QUOTE="LSOJ, post: 70455516, member: 392902"]Guilt doesn't cause repentance, but conviction does. Godly sorrow does. God grants repentance. All people's hearts are hardened, and without god's grace, cannot become unhardened. It is God who grants faith to man. The devil can fake all those same euphoric feelings. Spirits speak in thoughts and feelings as well as words.

When God brought me to Himself, Satan was on my tail like a repo-hit squad. Many times they tries to wrench my faith away, scare me with visions of hell-fire, and whisper blasphemous thoughts in my head, which I thought were my own. He has many advantages, but the devil's fatal mistake was waking you up to the fact that there is a God. Now the ball is in your court. Will you seek out the real God or go wander off in your own direction based on what you experienced.

The Bible is God's revelation to man, and man cannot find God by themselves, by reasoning it out, or by trying to figure everything out by the basis of experience. The only way to know God is by reading the Bible and getting His truth in you. That is the Word which can change your life. I'll tell you, it is not any 'mere text'. They seem like words on a page at first, but once they get into your head, and are understood, then they start working their power. Which is why I say and say and say, pick up a Bible and read it.

Grab the NIV (New International Version), which is a good general Bible. NASB is a bit more precise, and NLT (New Living Translation) is easier to digest. KJV is hard, because it is in old English, but NKJV is decent. Avoid 'The Message' Bibile, it takes too much creative license in translation. But bottom line is, grab a Bible and start reading it.[/QUOTE]

 

[LSOJ]

Thank you for replying.
I am 100% sure that it was God that revealed Himself to me.
Same thing happened to Pope Francis who was majoring in Chemistry when suddenly he changed his path to become the Pope.
My faith has depleted 100% and I'm now left with a broken mind that is closed to the Truth, so reading the Bible won't give me that sense of understanding which it did when I just awakened, heck, I can barely memorize 1 page of what I read.
God changed the way I thought, made me realize what sin does to the world.
Only thing I can do is to force myself to do things which I don't feel like doing.

Sure. You came here asking for advice. You're obviously looking for hope or something, otherwise you wouldn't bother. So you can play contradiction, or you can take advice and pray to God and read scripture. If you are desperate, then direct your desperation to God in prayer, and and admit you do not have the strength to obey Him. (I still doubt that God called you to be the Pope though)

See salvation comes by grace through faith in Christ Jesus.
Christ Himself said "All manner of sins will be forgiven to man, except blasphemy of the Holy Spirit"

So unless you want to change your stance and figure that you might be wrong about your experiences, I have nothing more to say to you.
Because I guarantee you, the Roman Catholic church is not the true church. They pray to dead people, to angels, and to the virgin Mary. They follow regulations that go against God's word, forbidding marriage and whatnot.

Remember - the devil is an angel, one created by God, just like the good angels. And supposedly 1/3rd of heaven's angels fell with Satan, so there are a great number of deceiving spirits out there.

Giving up hope is your choice, and calling a conclusion when you really know basically nothing is foolishness.
1 Corinthians 13:13 - And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.

Hope is what I use when my faith is weak, and when I have faith, I need less hope. But you have some hope, right? "Maybe if I reach out to ChristianForums I can get answers."