Depth

[sampa]

What does it mean to you when someone says that they are looking for a relationship with some depth? Just thinking about a friend in their twenties that someone said something to that effect and I've heard this before.

 

[Sketcher]

When someone else says it? I have no idea, because there's a good chance that the person who says it really doesn't know either. What she says or claims isn't important. What she chooses is important. If she keeps going back to a certain type, that's what she wants regardless of what she says she wants. Your favorite is always what you go back to, even if you think something else would be nice.

 

[sampa]

When someone else says it? I have no idea, because there's a good chance that the person who says it really doesn't know either. What she says or claims isn't important. What she chooses is important. If she keeps going back to a certain type, that's what she wants regardless of what she says she wants. Your favorite is always what you go back to, even if you think something else would be nice.

The example I was thinking of was saying that she it wasn't into small chit chat or texting. That she needed something more. And I had a guy once tell me that he needed depth and that he wasn't afraid of deep and dark. Just some curious things I've heard more than once that make me wonder if it's something that we all are looking for in a relationship. Maybe it's the same thing when I see someone saying that I want something real.

 

[public hermit]

I agree that "depth" is probably going to vary for different people. But if we contrast it with "superficial" then maybe that gives some sense of what many people mean when they want a relationship with depth. But even that distinction doesn't capture the problem.

Conversations and the things couples do together can be, for one or the other, less than they want. Depth is always going to refer to something lacking, which happens to make the relationship seem flat, less robust, for one of the two. Of course, this is ultimately going to be a matter of personal preference, I think to some extent. What gives "depth" to one might leave another longing for more. Conversations on the latest Hollywood breakup are not going to seem of much substance to me. But to another, who knows all the ins and outs, and all the intrigue, that might be what "depth" means.

 

[sampa]

something lacking, which happens to make the relationship seem flat, less robust, for one of the two. Of course

This is probably so, and unfortunately it's just for the one with a certain personal preference. One party might think that there is depth in the relationship while the other doesn't. Very sad.

An example might be someone values or thinks there is depth when they talk about spiritual and philosophical things, while the other feels the depth in service with the church and community. It's just an example I was thinking of the top of my head that might relate to depth.

who knows all the ins and outs, and all the intrigue

Intrigue is probably another word I could see relating to depth. The more that you question and want to get to know someone, the more depth maybe there is to that relationship.

I'm just guessing....

 

[public hermit]

An example might be someone values or thinks there is death when they talk about spiritual and philosophical things, while the other feels the depth in service with the church and community. It's just an example I was thinking of the top of my head that might relate to depth.

Exactly. Depth can go no deeper than the interests and values of the those involved.

 

[Niels]

Well…



Deep subject!

After looking for pictures of wishing wells online, however, many of them are relatively shallow.



The way I see it, "depth" is about having things in common to talk about. Somebody isn't necessarily shallow just because you don't see eye to eye, but your conversations with them likely won't be as engaging.

 

[bèlla]

Depth differs for everyone. It can also be a copout or escape depending on the person. The term is vague and that’s part of the allure for some.

When used by the opposite sex I’d interpret it as rich or meaningful experiences.

~bella