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Depression Support

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Judy02

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Hi everyone. Im really depressed today, and the suicidal thoughts are coming back :(

its horrible trying to fight them, i just dont enjoy life on the earth right now. nothing major is happening in my life right now, to make me really depressed, just academic pressure etc. i also have issues with trust, in relationships, and feel i shud probably stay clear of them, until im stronger as a person.

anyway, does anyone have msn, or anything. i cud do with someone to have as a christian mate. its hard to talk to a lot of ppl about this.

hehe anyway vent over :)

judy xx
 
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FallingWaters

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tsuriyel said:
I found these websites last night. I hope they are of some help to some people on here.

http://www.self-injury.org/

http://suicide.com/ - this website is a self-help website, it is NOT promoting suicide.

Hi,

I just visited suicide.com and it helped me. I was reading the first page when I read this:

"It's been 15 years now that my life stay
here on earth has been voluntary."

and I burst into tears.



I feel like I have been going through my entire life involuntarily.


My will has been crushed. My spirit has been crushed. I don't know how to come back to life. :sigh:
 
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lisa_P2545

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tsuriyel said:
dear lisa, thanks 4 coming on here and sharing your story. You've come to the right place, friend.

I'm so sorry you are crying a lot and feeling so blue. How sad that you recently had a miscarriage. How are you coping?

wow what was it like being in the military?

I was on Zoloft for a little while too. It seemed to make me angry (very strange)... so now Im taking something else.

Yeah I know what you mean.. you feel out of control sometimes hey. Like your emotions and thoughts aren't acting the way you want them to. Let us know what the doctor says.

Wow.. so being pregnant and having a child make you feel depressed? Please tell me about this as I have been thinking about starting to have kids.. and I am healing from depression and on anti-depressants (Effexor-XR).

please drop back here to this thread. .. i am hoping we can all be here for each other and grow and learn from each other..

i think best of all its great having others that can relate to you

take care lisa

Hi sorry it took so long for me to reply but i haven't been able to get online for a few days... being in the military was alright i suppose... it just wasn't for me... it's really hard to be married or a christian in the military. there are alot of bad influences... i don't know if all women who have depression will have post partum depression... the doctor warned me when i got pregnant that i was at a higher risk than most to have it though... it turned out that my doctor was right about my depression returning. i am actually doing alright today... but i am still having a hard time not letting the depression control me. i am praying constantly that the Lord to give me strength:amen: my husband has been so wonderful in helping me deal with this even though it's hard for him to understand. How are everyone's family's dealing with it? for me depression runs in my family. my grandmother, mother, and aunt all have been diagnosed with depression... well, i thankyou all for the support and this is a great thread to be able to talk to people who knows what it's like:wave: God bless!
 
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Eponine

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I should be thrilled. I really should. I just got my driver's license. And while I'm certainly glad to have gotten it and relieved that the process is over, under it all is still the feeling that nothing can ever be quite as good as it was.
 
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Soulwings

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FallingWaters said:
Hi,

I just visited suicide.com and it helped me. I was reading the first page when I read this:


"It's been 15 years now that my life stay

here on earth has been voluntary."​





and I burst into tears.​




I feel like I have been going through my entire life involuntarily.​



My will has been crushed. My spirit has been crushed. I don't know how to come back to life. :sigh:

Ohh sweetie :hug::hug:
Such a deep thought ... either deep, or very true. Your post really struck me ... my life has been involuntary as well ... like a child, I feel as though that life is a punishment for some wrong I've committed sometime, although I know not when or what. And it's not a punishment, is it? or have I been right all along? God says that it's a gift ... but I don't see that. And I need to understand that in order to turn my life around and start living voluntarily.
Hmm.
 
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AnointedPoetess

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tsuriyel said:
restored soul, i am listening to "blessed be your name" the sond you recommended! I have the version by the band Tree63 :)

I thought I would share some books I have that I think may help some others too.. :hug:

http://www.amazon.com/gp/reader/0785273433/ref=sib_dp_pt/102-2983945-9481766#reader-link

This book (check the link above) is called "The Lies We Tell Ourselves".. its fantastic! its by Dr. Chris Thurman.

http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1590523318/sr=8-1/qid=1144103341/ref=pd_bbs_1/102-2983945-9481766?%5Fencoding=UTF8

"His Princess" by Sheri Rose Shepherd.. i bought this one just a few days ago.. I love it!! Its awesome! Its love letters from Jesus to YOU! The letters are all very Biblical.. so you can really hear Jesus saying those things to you!

http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0446691097/sr=8-2/qid=1144103525/ref=pd_bbs_2/102-2983945-9481766?%5Fencoding=UTF8

JOyce Meyer "Battlefield of the Mind" :)

PLease share if you have any books or other things which help you or you think might help others

:hug: :hug:
hey tsur, my mom just ordered His Princess for me for my birthday.. im so excited!!. I am reading the battlefield of the mind also .. its good and i go a rev from it recently.. " Im not messed up but its my thinking that is" awesome huh?? I know.. hehe
 
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Godschild

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Hello everyone! I'm 22 and, I haven't been diagnosed with depression, I'm currently seeking counseling. I've been having thoughts on and off for a long time--mostly self-hatred. Feelings that I've failed at life somehow. I'm able to get out of bed and function, but it's the thoughts that scare me so badly. I've done so well at hiding my emotions inside, that I seem to become numb to alot of things. I'm at the point right now, where I feel that a good cry is in order. Although I'm not sure if that's going to help for too long.

I feel like I have to wear a mask to please people. That, I will never be truly happy. I have to put on a happy face for people, so that they don't notice that I am feeling this nagging pain. I've gotten used to wearing the masks for so long, that I don't know who I really am.

I'm trying to do other things to improve stuff, like trying to get a good night's sleep, trying to eat healthier, getting out more, getting back into my Quiet Times with God, etc. And I know that God is going to be with me through this, but it's still really hard.
 
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newyorknewyork

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AnointedPoetess said:
hey tsur, my mom just ordered His Princess for me for my birthday.. im so excited!!. I am reading the battlefield of the mind also .. its good and i go a rev from it recently.. " Im not messed up but its my thinking that is" awesome huh?? I know.. hehe

I am so thrilled to hear this!! Its the best book ive ever read! you'll love it! :hug: :hug:

how are you doing Judy? lots of hugs 4 u!
 
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Soulwings

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Godschild said:
Hello everyone! I'm 22 and, I haven't been diagnosed with depression, I'm currently seeking counseling. I've been having thoughts on and off for a long time--mostly self-hatred. Feelings that I've failed at life somehow. I'm able to get out of bed and function, but it's the thoughts that scare me so badly. I've done so well at hiding my emotions inside, that I seem to become numb to alot of things. I'm at the point right now, where I feel that a good cry is in order. Although I'm not sure if that's going to help for too long.

I feel like I have to wear a mask to please people. That, I will never be truly happy. I have to put on a happy face for people, so that they don't notice that I am feeling this nagging pain. I've gotten used to wearing the masks for so long, that I don't know who I really am.

I'm trying to do other things to improve stuff, like trying to get a good night's sleep, trying to eat healthier, getting out more, getting back into my Quiet Times with God, etc. And I know that God is going to be with me through this, but it's still really hard.

:hug::hug: I totally understand what you mean about wearing the mask. I feel like that often as well. It's like the song by Evanescence that basically repeats what you said - can't find yourself, lost in the lies.

Something that has helped me is excessive exercise. Go run a mile or two. Weightlift until your muscles are crying. Not too excessive to be unhealthy, but give yourself a massive workout. Not only does it make you focus on the stiff muscles the next day, but it increases the endorphins, which aid with decreasing depression.

:hug: It is hard, but it will get better. I don't know when or how, but someday it will improve. If you want to talk, I'm always here. Take care of yourself.

xxx
 
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Rhylla

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oh, Godschild, i know that feeling. i felt like an observer of my life at times, sitting behind my mask.

i hated myself, i hated my life and felt so guilty that i felt like this.
i felt like i was being choked by a fog that sat on me like a blanket, i survived i guess, no hope, no joy, no excitement about life.
i was so angry about things and kept that anger close to me and turned it inward, it made me so unhappy and ill.
i felt a failure because i couldn't cope, couldn't do everything i thought i was supposed to be able to do.
i didn't exactly want to die, but i didnt want my life to continue.
i was scared to go and ask for help, in case they told me i was just being pathetic, that there was nothing wrong with me.
but a friend pretty much ordered me to go to the doctor and i sat in the surgery and cried.
Medication helped temporarily, as did talking to someone, so many pieces of advice on these boards, find out which is best for you by trying them. But keep talking... sometimes its easier to write or type how u feel rather than actually talk.
its taken a while, but i can honestly say there is light at the end of the tunnel, i find i've pretty much got there, and you will too.

Eating well, and exercising and sleeping well are very important, and it's vital you get time that's just for you. You are important, you are worth the time spent on yourself.

be safe, hun i'll be praying for you.

-Rhylla-
 
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AnointedPoetess

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tsuriyel said:
I am so thrilled to hear this!! Its the best book ive ever read! you'll love it! :hug: :hug:

how are you doing Judy? lots of hugs 4 u!
Im so excited! My bday is tomm!!!! Yay.. um.. im crystal not judy unless you were saying hi to judy too LOL :D :sorry:
 
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Soulwings

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Hmm.

I'm not okay.


I wanted to clarify that.
:|

I might look strong and all. But I really don't have everything together. In fact, I don't have anything together. I don't know how I'm still alive to be honest ... is the pain ever going to end? What if there isn't recovery for me? What if?? I don't want to be like this all my life, I know that ... but at the same time, I don't want to recover. I don't know what I want, I don't know what's going to happen. I'm overdosed on apathy right now. I don't care about anything concerning myself.

Is this life?
Is this the way it's always going to be?

:(
 
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