Depression Support

[Soulwings]

Best of luck, Rs!! I'm so glad that they've finally given you an appointment time, that's good to hear. Hopefully it won't be too painful. How has teaching been lately? And I think I read that you're getting a new job in January? If I got that right, that's pretty cool!! Tell me/us more about it, and everything else!!

Eleemon welcome to the depression boards and support thread. I'm April. Glad to meet you, even if it is for rather depressing reasons. Hehe. Hang in there - things look dark - but you're absolutely right - it's not your strength that will get you through. I know that if it were based on my strength alone, I'd be dead by now. It's God's strength. And sometimes He alone can pull us out of the darkness. *hugs* I hope things look up for you soon, and know that I'm always here if you need to talk with someone!! xxx

 

[Aredhel]

Yeah, I'm fairly new to CF. I first started showing signs of depression at the age of 7. Depression runs in my family and my parents were going through a brutal divorce at the time. I went on like that for awhile, and have always had a tough, confident, tomboy personality despite my emotional pain. But as I hit adolescence, it got worse, and i became the overemotional, rude, grumpy girl who cried all the time. this made me feel even worse because I have always been teh tough one. I started cutting myself and contemplating suicide, and i drifted from God. Ive finally been diagnosed, and am on anti depressants along with in counselling. I have asked God for forgiveness and still feel depressed quite alot but it's getting better, and I'm learning more and more how to deal with it.

I have no idea why I just told you ALL that.....I suppose I just needed to get it out.

 

[AnointedPoetess]

Welcome to the depression board Aredhel, its ok to vent! maybe what you said can help some1 else here who knows!

 

[Quiddler]

Welcome, Aredhel And it's nice to know that I'm not the only cutter here. Well, recovering cutter. I went through the whole deal with being suicidal too, attempted a couple times ... I believe that it's only 'cause of God that I'm still here. But anyway!! We're glad to have you here, venting is perfectly okay - in fact that's the point of the thread! - and hopefully you'll find some lovely support, encouragement, and advice here if and when you need it.

 

[Amin]

Amin. I know how you feel - I've been on wads of antidepressants (and other medications - I'm currently taking 6 medications all for psychological problems). Even if the ADs and all don't make a difference now, they've probably not found the correct combination of meds yet. And therapy - are you in counseling of any sorts? That can really help too. Don't give up. The most important thing when you're depressed and feel like you're facing the hugest obstacles is to not give up hope. There is always hope.

I know that sounds so trite. You're probably thinking that I'm just saying that. But I'm not. I would have never thought that I would have gotten out of the mess that I got myself into over the past two years. But now - things aren't perfect - but I'm walking by faith and sometimes faith alone - and there is hope. Things can change even when you think that you're gone for. Trust me. Don't give up hope of getting better. Keep pushing forward. Keep praying. Stay close to God.

I'm here if you need to talk, okay? I'm on CF a lot and my PM box is always ready to receive more messages.

Thanks Quiddler.
I've been to so many counselors that i could probably live a year on what I've paid them. It's even depressing to know medicines don't work. I honestly feel as tho I'm being crushed by some unknown source, and i can't get free. My anxiety feeds the depression, and the depression feeds my anxiety. I feel like a dog chasing his tail. I wish i knew the answer, but i feel this is the way I'm destined to feel. It's so tiring and restricting.
Nothing brings real satisfaction anymore.
Chuck.

 

[Gwendolyn]

It's even depressing to know medicines don't work. I honestly feel as tho I'm being crushed by some unknown source, and i can't get free. My anxiety feeds the depression, and the depression feeds my anxiety. I feel like a dog chasing his tail. I wish i knew the answer, but i feel this is the way I'm destined to feel. It's so tiring and restricting.
Nothing brings real satisfaction anymore.
Chuck.

I can offer some sympathy. I am in a similar situation. I have tried a few medications and none of them seem to be working. My anxiety feeds my depression, and my depression feeds my anxiety as well, just like you said. I am presently waiting to see if I will be admitted to an outpatient therapy program at the hospital - I'm hoping that that will help, even just a little. Most days I feel like this is just my lot in life, to find myself somehow deprived of the beauty and joys enjoyed by others. And then I think, "Well, then you just have to learn to deal and make friends with your unhappiness."

Perhaps someday the tides will turn, but remember that day dawns slowly. The sun does not rise in an instant. It takes time.

Peace be with you.

 

[Restoredsoul]

Am in a lot of pain - cried through the whole thing yesterday - have a sterile dressing on which needs to be changed once/twice a day. Face is very sore and it was weeping yesterday but is better today.

new job - i start in Jan much nearer home so no travelling and just better management etc... can't wait to start am waiting on a CRB check though even though i have already hd four done but need a new onefor every place of work!

Rs xx

 

[ArmouredSaint]

well I'm back in here. my weight has increased by about 20 lbs and I feel tired alot and grouchy. no drive. I started to see a new psyche and she put me on prozac again. I feel like dying.



it must be the med..

 

[Jo1]

Hi
im 33 years old and have suffered from depression virtually all my life. Let me first explain my childhood. i was brought up in a single parent family. my dad looked after me since i was two years old. he divorced my mother because he couldnt cope. she was suffering from
scizaphrenia and things at home got bad she started to hit out at my dad because mainly of the illness. my dad had enough and was forced to divorce her. so he was left with the job of bringing me up, which wasnt easy for him, though my auntie helped him thankfully. i was a wanted child though because before i was born my mum and dad had a baby girl, she was poorly when she was born and died only after a couple of weeks. my dad belonged to a church though he didnt know Jesus personally.they prayed for another child as they did have a problem conceiving and i came along! my dad is a very damaged soul, bless him though he loved me he could never express that love to me and he is very negative.i didnt like living at home i tried to open up to him once about something and the response i got was not what i expected! so i gave up, he was in his world and i was in mine.
i only got saved by a miracle really thats another story, but it was all through a dream! i was desperate, sucidal such a mess couldnt see the point of life there had to be more.i couldnt understand why my mum left me, when i was away at college(where i got saved)i used to walk the streets in floods of tears.i went there to study art it was my life and i was on the wrong course! everything was going wrong and my favourite uncle was dying then Jesus came into my life. i left college and had quite a few rough years.
i was very self-destructive even as a christian i used to try and self harm though didnt succeed.though did have breakthrough in that. i went through a period of being on anti-deppresents which was ok. then stopped later on people said i should go back on them, i knew i shouldnt have done because i had a very bad reaction to them i thought i was going to die. if my husband (been married 8 years)hadnt been around i wouldnt of got through. been a christian now for 11 years. through that time, God has done a work in me and i am better than i used to be. i open up more, i used to be so shy. still have issues in my life, anger so forth think these are wounds from my past.im very sensitive and easily get hurt.Joyce Meyer has really helped me, a godly teacher in the word. i really recommend the book Straight Talk she does its great and has really helped me.
im still on a journey and would apreciate peoples prayers. i have my up and down days and suffer from permanent tiredness! sometimes people dont understand but i know God does. please pray that i really do experience more of his love in my life. i still feel there is something missing partly becouse of not having a mum. i try to look for love in people and thats hard when they hurt you. its been hard im not kidding but i hope out of all this i can help someone else and i am so blessed cos ive got Jesus.

 

[AnointedPoetess]

Guys, im not doing good at all.. thinking about calling my therapist but not sure.. jus cant cope anymore.. i'm breaking down..

 

[Restoredsoul]

Hey anointed!
i'm so sorry you're feeling like this - you can do this hun, i know you can. call your therapist - it will be ok.

Hugs
Rs xxx

 

[Judy02]

Guys, im not doing good at all.. thinking about calling my therapist but not sure.. jus cant cope anymore.. i'm breaking down..

I just said a prayer for you hun! Do whatever it is that will helpyou feel better, that's what I used to do. Whether its phoning friends, your therapist, praying, nice music or a way to help u relax. I pray you'll feel at peace again soon. It'll be ok Depression is a severe series of negative hopeless and helpless thoughts, but they don't have to control you! PM me anytime, I hope you feel better soon xxx

 

[Amin]

Please dont take this the wrong way. Why is it when a person is really feeling down, and like they can't do anything,people always give you scrpture to read and tell you to pray?
I don't know about anyone else but when I'm really feeling down, reading the bible and praying feels like the last thing i want to do, even tho i know it may help.

 

[Restoredsoul]

I know how you feel but to be honest looking at scripture can be a great source of comfort and the problem with feeling down is you generally don't feel like doing much - sometimes it good to have gentle reminders or suggestions of things to do as opposed to navel gazing.

I know from experience.

Rs xxx

 

[laruenouvelle]

I understand how you feel, too. The weird thing for me is that sometimes it's not those verses that talk about how the Lord loves you or protects you that comfort me so much...I've found some comfort from reading the Psalms in which you could tell that David was having a really bad day or reading the really involved stories in the Bible like when Elijah is depressed or when the plot is equivalent to something you see on Jerry Springer. As sad and twisted as some of those stories are, they really show me how God was in all of that even in the most depraved circumstances.

As for praying to God, when I pray during those sad times, God knows that I want to have my head buried under pillows and sheets. He's not oblivious. I don't come to Him, feigning joy, because He knows how we feel even before we pray to Him. When I'm this sad, my prayer times are usually more of me trying to listen for Him, and less of me talking than usual. I see God as my confidante and sole source of stability, so it's second nature for me to come to Him when I'm down than to anyone else.

I just realized how long this response was. I hope I didn't ramble too much.

 

[AnointedPoetess]

Hey anointed!
i'm so sorry you're feeling like this - you can do this hun, i know you can. call your therapist - it will be ok.

Hugs
Rs xxx

Thanks alot Rs! I need this support so badly right now..

 

[AnointedPoetess]

I just said a prayer for you hun! Do whatever it is that will helpyou feel better, that's what I used to do. Whether its phoning friends, your therapist, praying, nice music or a way to help u relax. I pray you'll feel at peace again soon. It'll be ok Depression is a severe series of negative hopeless and helpless thoughts, but they don't have to control you! PM me anytime, I hope you feel better soon xxx

Judy, thanks so much hun! I need all the prayer, encouragement I can get especially right now.. I love purple too.. its one of my fav colors! I listened to music and journaled LATE last night which helped.. I'm planning on calling my therapist today but so nervous and scared .. thanks 4 being here for me tho I appreciate it a ton!

 

[Restoredsoul]

Hey AnointedP!
Keep us posted my lovely- don't be scared it's best to let these things out in the open otherwise you just dwell - you are doing the right thing!!

Rs xxx

 

[Judy02]

Judy, thanks so much hun! I need all the prayer, encouragement I can get especially right now.. I love purple too.. its one of my fav colors! I listened to music and journaled LATE last night which helped.. I'm planning on calling my therapist today but so nervous and scared .. thanks 4 being here for me tho I appreciate it a ton!

Anytime hun seriously! I know how horrible depression is (I've been in it deep before) and it's important for people to be there. It is scary sometimes getting help, but don't worry it'll be worth it. Let us know how ur doing and if we can help at all. Try and remember when ur depressed that it doesn't last. When we're in it, it feels like it'll stay forever, but there WILL be better days. Don't let ur depressed state of mind convince u otherwise! You can beat this, and its great ur doing stuff to get help xxx

 

[Soulwings]

Hey guys, sorry for my absence!!

Amin and Veritas, ask your psychs about trying Parnate. It's an MAOI, not an SSRI - one of the older antidepressants (it's been around 30 years). It has a load of icky side effects and a lot of diet and drug restrictions, but IT WORKS. I've been on it for going on four months, and it's definitely working for me. And I've been on every SSRI (Prozac, Lexapro, etc.) as well as Effexor and Luvox, and none of them worked. Parnate does work. And if you're getting that desperate, then give it a go. Not many people know about it anymore, and not many psychs do deal with it, but if you ask, they might be able to info-search on it and prescribe you some. It's worth it. s

Crystal, I'm sorry you're having a rough time. If you need to talk, I'm here via PM - sorry I haven't been on MSN lately! (and soz, Jude, too) Things have been busy. But know that I'm still here for you, girl. Hang in there. Some things that help me when I'm having a really rough time and just need to get out of my head are doing relaxation exercises, whether they're full-body or just breathing exercises, yoga, or meditation. I also journal a lot, write long letters to friends (or emails), or write poetry. And pray. God doesn't expect you to be joyful when you're feeling like crap. Just talk with Him. Let Him know what sucks. Let Him know what's going on in your head. Sure, He knows already, 'cause He knows everything, but He LOVES it when you talk with Him. He's your Daddy. He wants to just hang out with you, even when you aren't feeling like you're loads of fun to be with.

Things for me have been going okay. I've had some really bad nights lately, slipped up a few times in regards to self harm, but today is day 119 as far as cutting goes. *bounces* Other news in my life ... well, uni is keeping me quite busy, but I'm done with classes in 27 days! and Thanksgiving break is coming up, so I'm quite looking forward to a time to relax.