Depressed

[lucybee]

I'm really depressed tonight.

I try to be happy and upbeat on the boards, there is no use to whine, but tonight I cant help it. So please bear with me as I share some of my feelings. I think it may help me tonight, and if you dont care, please dont respond.

I had some really bad dreams last night. They didnt start out bad, just crazy like always. Well eventually in my dreams I was pregnant. And somehow in the dreams I got in a fight with someone and blah blah blah I ran into the guy who r*ped me. In the dream he asked my why I didnt report him, and if I was going to let him see the baby. I never said this before, but after the r*pe, I though I was pregnant. It was 3 long months of waiting and hoping I wasnt, while at the same time kinda hoping I was. Not because I wanted his baby, but because I thought I might want one. The dream scared me, I woke up with a horrible feeling and I felt like crying. For some reason I feel guilty and cant fighure out why. Well the dream has been with me all day, I havent been able to forget it. I'm kinda scared to go to sleep tonight....

Oh well, maybe since I was able to write it out, I might get some sleep tonight. I dont know what I'm doing here writing this, but if you wont kick me out or call me stupid, I'll try to stay out of the way

Thanks for listening to me rant

 

[thepianist]

I'm really depressed tonight.

I try to be happy and upbeat on the boards, there is no use to whine, but tonight I cant help it. So please bear with me as I share some of my feelings. I think it may help me tonight, and if you dont care, please dont respond.

I had some really bad dreams last night. They didnt start out bad, just crazy like always. Well eventually in my dreams I was pregnant. And somehow in the dreams I got in a fight with someone and blah blah blah I ran into the guy who r*ped me. In the dream he asked my why I didnt report him, and if I was going to let him see the baby. I never said this before, but after the r*pe, I though I was pregnant. It was 3 long months of waiting and hoping I wasnt, while at the same time kinda hoping I was. Not because I wanted his baby, but because I thought I might want one. The dream scared me, I woke up with a horrible feeling and I felt like crying. For some reason I feel guilty and cant fighure out why. Well the dream has been with me all day, I havent been able to forget it. I'm kinda scared to go to sleep tonight....

Oh well, maybe since I was able to write it out, I might get some sleep tonight. I dont know what I'm doing here writing this, but if you wont kick me out or call me stupid, I'll try to stay out of the way

Thanks for listening to me rant

I wouldn't worry too much about this dream, dear. You are a young woman that I suppose wants children someday. I'm sure that one of these days your dream - of having a child - will come true, with the man God made just for you! You shouldn't feel guilty, my dear. It's perfectly natural for a woman to want a child. You will be in my prayers.

 

[LighNPeace]

Oh Dear You Are Not Alone...It is great that afer all you have been through you have grown and developed bearing fruit and all. that measn you are alive adn that God's love is filling you. pay no mind to those dreams and move on.

 

[Stephanida]

I have had dreams about having children. Right around the time I was waiting to see if my rapist had made me pregnant.