Depressed now

[tallyn75]

And money or lack thereof seems to be the trigger this time. That and the worry about cut-offs. Seems as though it's inevitable. We can't stick to a budget if our life depended on it. Then something's got to take the fall. Then the cut-off notices. It's nothing new, it sums up my entire adult life. Nothing ever changes in any meaningful way. I'm just a spoiled kids that's never grown up and drinks champagne on a koolaid budget.

Right now, I'm tired, I just want to sleep and hope that all the problems will be gone when I wake up. When I'm awake I'm starting to fantasize about permanent options. No real desire to do anything though. I find that odd about my depressions, they happen suddenly and get severe quickly sometimes. I have had depressions that lasted 4 months, but generally they last less than 3 weeks. It's probably a good thing I was sheltered as a kid, I wouldn't know the first place to look to get street drugs--never even seen the stuff. But it'd be a big temptation if i could find something that would effectively numb me emotionally. Alcohol never seems to do anything but make me feel worse. I don't know why I'm rambling about all this.

 

[Soulwings]

Tallyn

I don't know much to say, except that I care and I read. But - is there any way that you can read any books on finances? Larry Burkett has some really good ones out there. Maybe go to a seminar or two if you can find them (I know that some churches advertise them).

Praying for you, love.

 

[Alive again]

I just last year learned that a budget has flexibility and is not a fixed and rigid thing! I was shocked. Dear tallyn, saying a prayer for you. I trust you to know when you need help, but it sounds from your post like you may be there already. Please be careful and keep us informed of how you are when you can. We do care and we will listen and support you and uphols you in prayer.

 

[sadi belle]

my dr. used to say enjoy the good days and weather through the bad. when i'm really down sometimes i have to take it hour by hour or minute by minute and think whew! i got through another minute. i know you're exhausted and don't feel like pushing through but please do. do you take meds? they make all the difference for me. i still get down but i'm clearer and have more energy to push through. please don't isolate yourself. remember that nothing lasts forever and you will come out on the other side.