Denomonational Joke

[Knight]

I heard a joke last night that I thought was pretty funny. If you're easily offended by denomonational humor don't read any further.

 



It was so dry in Nevada.

(How dry was it??)

It was so dry:

The Baptists sprinkled

The Pentecostals used a wet sponge

The Methodists were issuing rainchecks

The Catholic priest was out behind the church trying to turn wine back into water.

 

[spirituality]

I dont think thats very nice to make fun of other denominations...

 

[jayebrownlee]

I have one too, and as with Kinights post don't read on if you think you will be offended.







There was a meeting of all the churches when someone came in shouting "FIRE, FIRE"

The all the denominations seperated and this is what happened,

The Baptists poured water on the fire,
The Pentecostals praised God for the gift of fire
The catholics prayed to God that he would save them,
and the presbyterians?
They set up a commitee to look into the matter of whether there was a fire at all!!

Jay

 

[Knight]

Originally posted by spirituality
I dont think thats very nice to make fun of other denominations...

There's a difference between making a joke and ridiculing. The objective here is humor. Lighten up a little.

BTW, I heard this from a Baptist preacher.

 

[waterwizard]

 

Some children were told by their teacher to bring something to school that represents their religion.

The next day, the teacher called the students one by one up to show what they brought.

The first child said, "I'm Jewish, and this is my Star of David."

Another child said, "I'm Catholic.  This is my rosary."

Another child said, "I'm Muslim.  This is my prayer rug."

The last child said, "I'm Southern Baptist.  This is my casserole."

 

[JOYfulbeliever]

Originally posted by waterwizard
 

The last child said, "I'm Southern Baptist.  This is my casserole."

AMEN!!!!  Preach it waterwizard!!! 

 

 

[Gabriel]

    Funny stuff!  I'm not offended and I'm Presbyterian and used to be Baptist.

Poking fun and making fun of are 2 totally different things.  i don't see anything wrong here.

Every day my grandmother used to wake up and go out on the porch.  She would lift her hands to the sky and say, "Thank you Jesus for another beautiful day!" Rain or shine, hot or cold.

One day a new guy moved in next door.  Grouchy and mean, he would always yell back at her, "There ain't no Jesus!"  One day he thought he would mess with Grandma.  He snuck over there and put a bag of groceries on her porch right before she came out.  When sha saw the food she lifted her hands to the heavens and proclaimed, "Thank you Jesus for providing for me!"  About htat time her neighbor jumped up and siad, "Aha!  I Put those groceries there!"  She just smiled and looked back to the sky and said, "Thank you Jesus for providing this food and for tricking the devil into paying for it!"

Not a true story.

 

[jayebrownlee]

"Thank you Jesus for providing this food and for tricking the devil into paying for it!"

I like that one, I think it's great.

Jay

 

[AngelAmidala]

Originally posted by Knight
It was so dry in Nevada.

(How dry was it??)

It was so dry:

The Methodists were issuing rainchecks 

How sad am I?  I'm Methodist and I don't get it! 

I did get the casserole joke though by waterwizard.  Though I heard it told the Methodists brought the casserole. 

 

[She Believes]

Gabriel, that was cute! I have that saved somewhere but it's worded differently. I thought all the jokes were cute.

 

[Susan]

LOL LOL LOL, I have a good one. . .

A woman went to the post office to buy stamps for her Christmas cards. The clerk asked her "what denomination?", meaning the monetary amount. The woman stepped back, shocked. "Has it come to this?" "To what?" "I guess I will take 50 Baptist and 50 Catholic ones."

 

[jayebrownlee]

Originally posted by Susan
LOL LOL LOL, I have a good one. . .

A woman went to the post office to buy stamps for her Christmas cards. The clerk asked her "what denomination?", meaning the monetary amount. The woman stepped back, shocked. "Has it come to this?" "To what?" "I guess I will take 50 Baptist and 50 Catholic ones."

Hmmm, That's one of those jokes that is funny because it's not funny isn't it!?!

Jay

 

[Rae]

Here's one on my denomination, Unitarian Universalist.

How many Unitarian Universalists does it take to change a light bulb?

-The Unitarian Universalists choose not to make a statement either in favour of or against the need for a light bulb. However, if in your own journey you have found that a light bulb works for you, that is fine. You are invited to write a poem or compose a modern dance about your personal relationship to your light bulb and present it next month at our annual light bulb Sunday service, in which we will explore a number of light bulb traditions, including incandescent, fluorescent, three-way,long-lived, and tinted; all of which are equally valid paths to luminescence.

 

[A Sheep]

Originally posted by Susan
LOL LOL LOL, I have a good one. . .

A woman went to the post office to buy stamps for her Christmas cards. The clerk asked her "what denomination?", meaning the monetary amount. The woman stepped back, shocked. "Has it come to this?" "To what?" "I guess I will take 50 Baptist and 50 Catholic ones."

LOL!

"Has it come to this?"

 

[Gerry]

These are all great! Being a Presbyterian Baptist, myself, I especially liked the Presbyterian and Baptist ones. And I am sure that was a fine Casserole at that!

I had to smile at the Unitarian Universalists joke as well. That sounded more like a doctrinal statement than a joke. But then the truth in the joke is what makes them funny anyway. For example:

If you have three Baptists in one place you have one more than the required minimum for a Church split! If you throw a Presbyterian in there he will form a committee to appoint a sub committee to study the need to form a commitee to nominate a committee to look into the need for a committee to determine the advisability of such a move.

 

[A Sheep]

Originally posted by Gerry
. . . If you have three Baptists in one place you have one more than the required minimum for a Church split! If you throw a Presbyterian in there he will form a committee to appoint a sub committee to study the need to form a commitee to nominate a committee to look into the need for a committee to determine the advisability of such a move.

!

 

[Blessed-one]

gee, this's too funny, LOL!!

 

[jayebrownlee]

I am a protestant and therefore I have to make this joke,






how many protestants does it take to change a lightbulb?

Change? What do you want to go and do that for?



Jay

 

[waterwizard]

I have a friend who is a pastor of a Baptist Church.  One day a man walked up to him and, very seriously, told him he couldn't be a Baptist preacher.  Bewildered, my friend asked him why.  The man said, "'Cause you ain't fat!!"

 

[shout2thelord]

aaaahhhhhhhhh

lol
lol
rofl
lol
hehehe

 

but wizard that last un aint funny