has anyone heard of delusional OCD? my doctor thinks i have SZ affective disorder, but another doctor said they think it is just OCD because there are some kinds of thoughts that have a delusional quality? But the thing is that i get confused about the these thoughts and it's as if the line between reality and fantasy tends to get blurred when i get these kinds of thoughts. I don't fully disbelieve these delusional type thoughts but i don't fully disbelieve them either
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delusional OCD?
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In my own opinion, as a Psychology major, OCD itself appears in a lot of forms.
For example, in my case, aside from the thoughts that come and go, I literally visualize the blasphemy in their word form - and this is considered as OCD through images. Like I can see the words and letters of the blasphemy, then the canceling word ("not") falling down at the end of the sentence.
Also, I get weirded feelings, I don't know. Generally, we hate our thoughts, right?! For me, it slightly deviates. For example, there have been some times (a few minutes) where I don't care about those thoughts whatever and whenever they come (I've been guilty for these), and ometimes IT FEELS LIKE I'M WANTING TO SAY THE BLASPHEMY OR RENUNCIATION THOUGHT.
Do you experience something like this?
For example, in my case, aside from the thoughts that come and go, I literally visualize the blasphemy in their word form - and this is considered as OCD through images. Like I can see the words and letters of the blasphemy, then the canceling word ("not") falling down at the end of the sentence.
Also, I get weirded feelings, I don't know. Generally, we hate our thoughts, right?! For me, it slightly deviates. For example, there have been some times (a few minutes) where I don't care about those thoughts whatever and whenever they come (I've been guilty for these), and ometimes IT FEELS LIKE I'M WANTING TO SAY THE BLASPHEMY OR RENUNCIATION THOUGHT.
Do you experience something like this?
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Hi PARCmd
yes i do experience what you mentioned! how right you are, i could completely relate to what you said cause i feel the same way at times. you really pinpointed what i am also experiencing, but sometimes i find it hard to describe. Thanks for writing that, i appreciate it.
yes i do experience what you mentioned! how right you are, i could completely relate to what you said cause i feel the same way at times. you really pinpointed what i am also experiencing, but sometimes i find it hard to describe. Thanks for writing that, i appreciate it.
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The people in the other OCD-Scrupulosity forums say that this is completely normal - that it is the brain mechanism that makes us sometimes virtually emotionally unresponsive to our own blasphemous/renunciation thoughts because this acts as a shutter in order to preserve our sanity.
I guess this also goes for the "wanting to blaspheme or wanting to renounce" feeling.
I think this is true - last Sunday (before Christmas), when an obsession renouncing God automatically appeared in my mind - I was already at the last strands of the string of my sanity when this happened. Then I experienced a period of unresponsiveness, something like feeling totally empty or unable to emotionally respond to my blasphemous thoughts. Sometimes, when I got the feeling of wanting to renounce God, I thought about it, but then added a canceling word (eg, not)! It's because my urges were terribly forceful already.
I guess this also goes for the "wanting to blaspheme or wanting to renounce" feeling.
I think this is true - last Sunday (before Christmas), when an obsession renouncing God automatically appeared in my mind - I was already at the last strands of the string of my sanity when this happened. Then I experienced a period of unresponsiveness, something like feeling totally empty or unable to emotionally respond to my blasphemous thoughts. Sometimes, when I got the feeling of wanting to renounce God, I thought about it, but then added a canceling word (eg, not)! It's because my urges were terribly forceful already.
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Jacob4Jesus
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Just thought I would give you my two cents also. Before I was diagnosed with OCD, I actually thought I was delusional and diagnosed myself as being schizophrenic. I'm also a psychology major and I know now how silly it was to diagnose myself, but I honestly felt that the obsessive thoughts were more delusional.
One of the things to keep in mind that delusions do not generally cause people anxiety and fear. The person suffering from the delusions believes them 100% and would not consider themselves to be delusional. Obsessive Compulsives generally are happy to get rid of obsessions, and schizophrenics don't want to lose them.
I hope this is not sharing too much info, but before I was diagnosed, i thought the Devil was going to steal my soul, make me wake up as a character in a Rob Zombie movie and get brutally killed. And then I would spend eternity going through this over and over. I believed it 100%, but did my best to combat the belief. Obsessions and Delusions are definitely related, but the closer a thought comes to being considered somewhat delusional probably indicates the severity of your OCD.
Just remember, for delusions, there is no line between fantasy and reality. The delusion is always real.
One of the things to keep in mind that delusions do not generally cause people anxiety and fear. The person suffering from the delusions believes them 100% and would not consider themselves to be delusional. Obsessive Compulsives generally are happy to get rid of obsessions, and schizophrenics don't want to lose them.
I hope this is not sharing too much info, but before I was diagnosed, i thought the Devil was going to steal my soul, make me wake up as a character in a Rob Zombie movie and get brutally killed. And then I would spend eternity going through this over and over. I believed it 100%, but did my best to combat the belief. Obsessions and Delusions are definitely related, but the closer a thought comes to being considered somewhat delusional probably indicates the severity of your OCD.
Just remember, for delusions, there is no line between fantasy and reality. The delusion is always real.
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Jacob4Jesus,
i was really interested in what you shared, and i appreciate that you did share with us. you know with me, my psychiatrist said he thinks i have schizoaffective disorder because of my delusional type thoughts, but i don't think he is sure, because as you said with a person having delusions, they usually don't feel anxiety or fear, but in my case i feel great anxiety and fear every time i have that kind of a (what my doctor termed) delusional type thought which is very often now, like every day. But when you said that a person who is having a delusion doesn't usually feel fear or anxiety it made me think, because i don't 100% believe these delusional type thoughts, but then again i don't 100% disbelieve them either
i was really interested in what you shared, and i appreciate that you did share with us. you know with me, my psychiatrist said he thinks i have schizoaffective disorder because of my delusional type thoughts, but i don't think he is sure, because as you said with a person having delusions, they usually don't feel anxiety or fear, but in my case i feel great anxiety and fear every time i have that kind of a (what my doctor termed) delusional type thought which is very often now, like every day. But when you said that a person who is having a delusion doesn't usually feel fear or anxiety it made me think, because i don't 100% believe these delusional type thoughts, but then again i don't 100% disbelieve them either
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In my opinion, delusions don't cause anxiety or fear - they're just there, and there are aspects of being cut-off from reality. I once had a schizoaffective patient - a Born-Again Christian like me, and all I can say is that his mind is totally out of this world - no contact with reality... For you, I think it might just be delusional type of thoughts, or rather, imagery-based OCD...
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gracechick
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Thank you Jacob for what you posted. I have a family member that gets disgusted with me & often tells me that Im delusional ect. What you said has really helped me & reminded me I'm not nuts & don't want this disorder, but am merely living with it till healing comes.
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