Define "Hell" [fun thread]

[.Sabre.]

What would your own definition of a tortuous afterlife be?


Well, mine would be going to a horrible fairyland populated entirely by girls who think they're Sabrina the teenage witch and acting lovey-dovey, being PETA members and of course loving bright pink things. And it gets worse: no beer, only girly drinks. No heavy metal, only boy bands. And of course every single animal is cute. The teen witches respawn when you pulverise them. The only thing to read is Silver Ravenwolf's books on neo-Wicca.

 

[UberLutheran]

Christian Forums/Christian Faith/Theology/Christian Philosophy and Ethics/Debates on Homosexuality

I think that's probably as close to "Hell" as we're going to see in this lifetime...

 

[UberLutheran]

I'll know I have ended up in Hell if I wake up and finding myself driving in the left lane of a five or six lane freeway in back of someone talking on the phone and driving 40 mph below the speed limit, while I'm on my way to the airport where I'll find my flight has been delayed six hours, but it's going to take five of those six hours to get through passenger inspection because my name is on the "No Fly List"; and when I finally board the plane I find the plane is full of rats and the person sitting next to me is a Southern Baptist minister from Georgia!

 

[QuakerOats]

In addition to what Uber said (and ack, Silver Ravenwolf *shudders*), I'm going with family reunions. I love my peeps, but they can be too much sometimes (especially all at once ).

 

[D.W.Washburn]

True experience and related to the posts above:

It was probably 15 years ago, I was flying home from Tennessee. The first leg of the flight was on a little puddle-jumper local airline: small plane, narrow seats, no leg room. I was sitting in the boarding area waiting for the flight, when about 20 young girls giggled and bounded into the area, each wearing a sash reading: "Miss Teenage USA, Tennessee, (County Name)."

I began to pray. "Lord, please do not make me sit in a row with two teenage beauty queen contestants."

And as I prayed, an older couple came into the boarding area. They were wearing identical, new "Kenneth Copeland Ministries" T-shirts.

I began to pray again....

 

[ZuZu]

Hell = me in a small locked room with my dad, the local priest, and a fundamentalist preacher...

 

[Domenico]

To continue the plane theme, Hell for me is spending the rest of eternity on a tiny plane, with a really fat woman in the seat in front of me, with the seat reclined so much that my knees are up round my head and evey time I think of moving, said woman says "do you MIND?" and tuts about sexual harrassment.

Longest three hours of my LIFE.

 

[D.W.Washburn]

Christian Forums/Christian Faith/Theology/Christian Philosophy and Ethics/Debates on Homosexuality

I think that's probably as close to "Hell" as we're going to see in this lifetime...

It must be the end of the Millenium...the abyss is unlocked...Debates on Homosexuality is open for business again.

Which leads us to the inevitable question: "What fresh hell is this?"

 

[ExistencePrecedesEssence]

Hell is other people.

 

[BAFRIEND]

Let's just make fun of hell.

What next ? A thread making fun of Ryan White and other AIDS victims ?

Lauph now, cry later.

 

[DeanM]

Locked in a positivity convention where BaFriend is the only speaker.

Just a friendly little jab, BAF. You need to lighten up.

For me, Hell is to be surrounded by vomiting babies whose parents just ignore the mess until we all drown.

 

[Athene]

Let's just make fun of hell.

What next ? A thread making fun of Ryan White and other AIDS victims ?

Lauph now, cry later.

Go go gadget sense of humour!

 

[Athene]

Hell is being stuck in a traffic jam on a blistering hot day with the kids in the car moaning and complaining,, the air conditioning breaking and the people in the car in the other lane playing r&b so loud you can actually feel the vibrations.

 

[Pogue]

Sheffield.

 

[Pogue]

I jest. No, I think my idea of Hell would be a very loud party, where I'm the only sober person, and everyone else is both drunk, and a member of the Conservative Party. In terms of music, it would be modern bands and singers such as Lily Allen and Kate Nash, of the sort which I cannot stand.

 

[Im_A]

hell to me would be locked in a room with one song playing "Yellow Submarine" by the Beatles.

 

[D.W.Washburn]

Hell = Burning in an unending agony of eternal, unquenchable flame, gnawed upon by undying worms, tormented by demons in a sulfurous lake, deprived of God's love and separated from God's presence...

...but to make it a true hell, crowds of fundamentalist Christians stand around, sipping cold sweet tea, shaking their heads in mock sorrow, saying, "I told you so"...

...for all eternity.

 

[spinningtutu]

hell...

...forced to live/exist inside of a male body with rigid masculine stereotypes enforced on me.

as to the OP, PETA rocks!

 

[Ransomer]

Captivity!

 

[Apollo Celestio]

Well, I don't know for sure, but there would be giant spiders.. ugggghhhh