I grew up in a society where people generally hold an atheist view. The vast progress of science and technology gives us more and more reason to be pride, to further the step of "Disenchantment" and to think that we human really have the ability to control all things and God is not helpful to us. As a member in this era, especially in a country that is without God for thousands of years, I found that my faith was built up mere feelings: I thought Christ is God simply because I thought the love he displays cannot be found in any other man on earth. However, my faith was not strengthened by knowledge. If you ask me some simple questions like why evolutionism, which was taught as truth in Chinese high school, is wrong, I cannot answer you because I am also confused. Under the big influence of "Disenchantment", I feel it really hard to believe the miracles recorded both in the old and the new testament.
There is a further point to be elaborated. Living in a corrupt society where the evil of man is ruthlessly displayed everyday, I always held a dream to change it and make it a better place like the US. So the advent of Jesus let me feel that I really need this man to carry on, to keep fighting with this evil world. You can see that I was trading Christ for something, that I still put my hope in this life, that I was doing idolatry. I used Christ to accomplish my dream.
These few months I grew better, I see the huge difference between idealism and faith. Therefore I think this is the most important stage after Christ came into my life. I want to overthrow my idolatry. I want to set my hope in the world to come. But I just haven't accumulated enough power to achieve them. I still set my mind on earthly things, desire the praise of man rather than the praise of God. However, I really thank God to let me see this problem. Else I will relapse unconsciously like some of my friends did. God also provide me some means to win this battle: I accidentally found a book that is just in time. It's called The Way of the Modern World, by Craig M.Gay. It deals with the problem I am facing: Why idealism is essentially a false religion and how to really achieve separation, not only in the surface like be away from fleshly desires, but also in our soul to really treat God as God and realize our pride will ultimately leads to destruction.
I haven't finished this book. But I think the most important thing is that God will be pleased to save me, to help me fight this battle. So I do really need your prayer. It will be really nice if you can give me some advice on how to win this battle against my deep-rooted worldliness.
P.S. I have been a professing christian 8 months ago, I have been reading the bible, attending sermons. I know some basic principles of christian faith, but I now I feel I need deepr experience and teaching for me to really see the vastness of the grace of God.
There is a further point to be elaborated. Living in a corrupt society where the evil of man is ruthlessly displayed everyday, I always held a dream to change it and make it a better place like the US. So the advent of Jesus let me feel that I really need this man to carry on, to keep fighting with this evil world. You can see that I was trading Christ for something, that I still put my hope in this life, that I was doing idolatry. I used Christ to accomplish my dream.
These few months I grew better, I see the huge difference between idealism and faith. Therefore I think this is the most important stage after Christ came into my life. I want to overthrow my idolatry. I want to set my hope in the world to come. But I just haven't accumulated enough power to achieve them. I still set my mind on earthly things, desire the praise of man rather than the praise of God. However, I really thank God to let me see this problem. Else I will relapse unconsciously like some of my friends did. God also provide me some means to win this battle: I accidentally found a book that is just in time. It's called The Way of the Modern World, by Craig M.Gay. It deals with the problem I am facing: Why idealism is essentially a false religion and how to really achieve separation, not only in the surface like be away from fleshly desires, but also in our soul to really treat God as God and realize our pride will ultimately leads to destruction.
I haven't finished this book. But I think the most important thing is that God will be pleased to save me, to help me fight this battle. So I do really need your prayer. It will be really nice if you can give me some advice on how to win this battle against my deep-rooted worldliness.
P.S. I have been a professing christian 8 months ago, I have been reading the bible, attending sermons. I know some basic principles of christian faith, but I now I feel I need deepr experience and teaching for me to really see the vastness of the grace of God.
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