Deconversion?

vespasia · Dec 24, 2009

Your right - Christians are supposed to be but being made in the image of God is not the same as being God.

The problems caused when folk look at Christian's who can and from time to time do behave badly, with bigotry, with fear, with hatred and assume that is what Christ is like are immense and should give those who seek to follow Christ day by day, one footstep after another, pause for thought.

pdudgeon · Dec 24, 2009

Gwenyfur said:
riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight...

tell it to someone who'd buy it...
wasted 14 years on that particular fairy tale...

Or for that matter...tell it to Criada...who's struggling with circumstances and choices that have a *HUGE* effect on her day to day life, adn day to day mental well being.

if you'd like to talk about the huge effect of circumstances, then you really need to remember what John the Baptist, Paul, and Jonah went thru. So far as i know Criada is not in jail, she hasn't been threatened with loosing her head, nor is she chained to guards 24/7 or under house arrest, shipwrecked in a storm, or in the belly of a great fish, about to become lunch.

and yet while enduring the huge effects listed above, God's peace did work.
Nontheless, what she is enduring can be gotten thru, even when it "seems" as though there is no hope.

never, EVER believe in circumstances.

they are temporary, not permanent unless you deliberately choose to make them so.

Don't give up and don't give in.

pdudgeon · Dec 24, 2009

Gwenyfur said:
What would be nice is if people would truly consider helping Criada with this rather than spouting scripture and useless platitudes to her.

You don't think she's scoured the scriptures trying to find the answer???

Or spent hours in tearful prayer seeking the face of god????

What...like someone is going to say something she doesn't already know...or hasn't already been told, or already faced???

They're not....and they're truly not helping...they're exacerbating her pain...not lessening it...

Am I the only one willing to tell her "Whatever you decide to choose, and however you decide to live, I will still love you" even if I don't personally adhere to whatever belief system she may choose?

Am I arguing? not really...
I've been explaining...if anyone's taking it as arguing then they're reading entirely too much into my words.

Criada already knows what she needs to....she just needs the space and security to make the choice she faces....for that she needs love ... not more preaching...

sometimes when you are in the middle of the labor of childbirth it helps to be reminded that even though you feel as if you are being torn assunder, that this too shall pass.

and even though hearing that the pain and agony will pass may irritate you greatly, it doesn't change the truth of the words being spoken one iota.

sometimes it even helps to know that someone else believes for you, and prays for you.

suzybeezy · Dec 24, 2009

Criada said:
((((Gweny))))
Thank you for hearing.

Lots of us our hearing and trying to help you the way you've helped so many here. As we discussed, you said you felt God's reality before and you've felt Him touch your life, you shouldn't wipe that from your memory or allow it to be surpressed deep down. You have several experiences in the past that can help you through this time of doubt. When I see some of the comments in this thread trying to endorse your walkin' away from the faith you have loved, veiled under the illusion of love and help, it truly breaks my heart. This is not of God but certainly quite pleasing to the enemy. While I may not be very vocal in this thread, I am trying to do what I feel you need more than anything and that's diligently praying for you and offering my support and hopin' that when you need me, you know that I am here for you, without judgement, but with love.

pdudgeon · Dec 24, 2009

agreed, Suzy.
there is no end to the amount of heartfelt prayers going up on behalf of Criada from persons unknown to most of us, but who know of the need and faithfully send up their earnest petitions on her behalf. what we see in this thread is but the tip of a very large prayer effort extended on her behalf.

so even if it is not mentioned in every post, it does exist as a standard raised for her behalf.

Criada · Dec 24, 2009

I didn't mean to disparage any one else's help and support ... I was just thanking someone who had just made a helpful comment. This week is very busy, and I haven't had time to respond to every comment, but I do truly appreciate the love and support of everyone here. I'm sorry if that hasn't been clear... sometimes I can't really find words.

I hope that you all have a wonderful and peaceful Christmas.

Chaplain David · Dec 24, 2009

Criada said:
I didn't mean to disparage any one else's help and support ... I was just thanking someone who had just made a helpful comment. This week is very busy, and I haven't had time to respond to every comment, but I do truly appreciate the love and support of everyone here. I'm sorry if that hasn't been clear... sometimes I can't really find words.

I hope that you all have a wonderful and peaceful Christmas.

Dear Criada, I haven't felt in the least that you've disparaged anyones help and support. I think it was wise of you to start this thread both for yourself and for those who know and love you.

Your Friend,
David

suzybeezy · Dec 24, 2009

Criada said:
I didn't mean to disparage any one else's help and support ... I was just thanking someone who had just made a helpful comment. This week is very busy, and I haven't had time to respond to every comment, but I do truly appreciate the love and support of everyone here. I'm sorry if that hasn't been clear... sometimes I can't really find words.

I hope that you all have a wonderful and peaceful Christmas.

Oh hun, I didn't mean it like that. I just wanted to emphasize how much so many of us care for you and we're all praying that God gives you the strength you need to get through this. God bless - Merry Christmas!

Hentenza · Dec 24, 2009

Merry Christmas Sarah.

Philothei · Dec 24, 2009

Criada said:
I didn't mean to disparage any one else's help and support ... I was just thanking someone who had just made a helpful comment. This week is very busy, and I haven't had time to respond to every comment, but I do truly appreciate the love and support of everyone here. I'm sorry if that hasn't been clear... sometimes I can't really find words.

I hope that you all have a wonderful and peaceful Christmas.

Merry and Blessed Christmas Criada. And I apologize if i felt short in my help to you We are all humans and trying our best.
I understand you cannot answer all comments. I am praying for you and your family this Christmas season

Hugs,
Philothei

sk8Joyful · Dec 24, 2009

the Christmas-greeting I've shared in CF, & elsewhere:
"
MERRY

Christmas, to *you*

Sarah this moment,
next month, and this life.......

pdudgeon · Dec 25, 2009

suzybeezy said:
Oh hun, I didn't mean it like that. I just wanted to emphasize how much so many of us care for you and we're all praying that God gives you the strength you need to get through this. God bless - Merry Christmas!

amen to this!

Criada · Dec 26, 2009

Thanks all of you.
Christmas this year was odd... it was great seeing the kids enjoying it, but in so many ways it was pointless and empty. Christmas without Christ is just... weird.

b&wpac4 · Dec 26, 2009

Criada said:
Christmas this year was odd... it was great seeing the kids enjoying it, but in so many ways it was pointless and empty.

You spent some quality time with your family. I would not see that as pointless.

sk8Joyful · Dec 26, 2009

b&wpac4 said:
You spent some quality time with your family.

yeah *quality* :
Each parent physically...
(instead on-line); like 3x as much time individually with each child.
&
Each parent emotionally...
(chores/homework aside); sharing what each values as Fun...

&
Each parent spiritually...
(aside only scriptural prayers); sharing how they can individually empower yet others...

Parenthood is such a blessing...! PRAISE God.
.

Criada · Dec 26, 2009

b&wpac4 said:
You spent some quality time with your family. I would not see that as pointless.

True, but I do that most days... don't need a holiday.
Usually the meaning of the day has been Jesus... this year the thanksgiving and carols simply made me want to cry.

b&wpac4 · Dec 26, 2009

Criada said:
Usually the meaning of the day has been Jesus... this year the thanksgiving and carols simply made me want to cry.

I think to solve your problem you are going to need to remove the emotional component and use your mind, as I said before. I know this is difficult, but you are relying on the most fickle and changeable aspect of you to determine an important life decision. Do you rely on these emotions to make financial decisions? I imagine not.

sk8Joyful · Dec 26, 2009

Criada said:
True, but I do that most days... don't need a holiday.
Usually the meaning of the day has been Jesus... this year
the thanksgiving and carols simply made me want to cry.

of course God/Jesus is ok with tears, when we use the mind & cry...for joy!
the kind of joyful...tears, where you feel full of joy, yes!! *joyFul*

Go ahead Sarah, wrapping yourself in God's perfect &
eternal LOVE...crying blessed tears of peaceful...joy

.

Criada · Dec 26, 2009

b&wpac4 said:
I think to solve your problem you are going to need to remove the emotional component and use your mind, as I said before. I know this is difficult, but you are relying on the most fickle and changeable aspect of you to determine an important life decision. Do you rely on these emotions to make financial decisions? I imagine not.

I am trying to do that... as you say, it is hard. My issue is more an intellectual inability to accept God... emotionally I desperately want to believe...

Penumbra · Dec 26, 2009

Criada said:
I am trying to do that... as you say, it is hard. My issue is more an intellectual inability to accept God... emotionally I desperately want to believe...

I don't know how this will end for you, whether you'll end up believing in your deity again or if you'll remain an agnostic or something else, but I can at least offer a hope of comfort by saying that in most instances, the emotional pain of deconversion will go away or at least decrease substantially over time.

It took my years to get over my deconversion (beginning at age 14, 7 years ago), and I had depression that was existent before my deconversion to deal with as well. While I still have depression, I no longer am particularly sad about deconversion, even though it took some years. The human mind adapts as it needs to usually. It hardens and focuses on other things. I look back at my experience as one of learning and growing, and those things are rarely comfortable.

I have a friend that went through deconversion rather swiftly and without significant emotional pain, but he didn't have depression to deal with along side it, so that's a factor.

Good luck to you, however it works out.

-Lyn

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